He thought it was best not to try to speak just then, not with the way the blood was draining out of his head.
“Dazzled,” she murmured. “You dazzle me. You make me feel things, and want things I never knew I could have. I’m almost twenty-nine, and you’re the only man who’s really touched me. I want you to touch me.”
He would, as soon as he could be sure he had his hands, and his needs, under control. If it had been anyone but Cassie, he would have thought she was seducing him.
Because he said nothing, made no move toward her, she was afraid she was doing it all wrong. It wasn’t nerves now that plagued her, so much as doubt. And doubt had her shifting her gaze back to the flowers.
“If you’d rather not right now…if you don’t want me—”
“God.” It exploded out of him, made her head whip up in alarm, made him bite back whatever might have come out next. “Let’s go for a drive,” he said quickly. “It’s a pretty night, the moon’s coming up. I’d like to go for a drive with you.”
She was sure she’d made some foolish mistake, but couldn’t put her finger on it. All she was sure of was that her system was in overdrive, and his wasn’t. As a seductress, she thought, she was a miserable amateur.
“All right, if you like.”
He recognized that tone, the bright and false cheerfulness. He would have slit his throat before he did anything to cause that. “Cassie, it’s not that I don’t want to make love with you. I do. It’s just that… Maybe I’m a little more revved from this morning than I thought. I need to smooth out some of the edges before I… I can’t touch you now,” he ended, his tone too sharp, too quick.
“Why?”
“Because I’m a little too needy right now, and it doesn’t help for you to keep looking at me that way. I wouldn’t be able to— I’d hurt you.”
“You’re angry with me?”
“No.” He swore, ripely, showing her some portion of his frustration in the way he whirled around and paced. “When I’m angry with you, you’ll know it. You’re driving me crazy. Look at the way you’re standing there, with your hands folded and those big, gorgeous eyes watching every move I make. I can’t breathe when you look at me like that. I used to be able to.” He shot the words out like an accusation. “But that was before, and I just can’t handle it as well now that we’ve been together. We’ve got to get out of here before I eat you alive.”
“We’re not going anywhere.” It surprised them both, how firm and settled her voice.
“I’m telling you—”
“Yes, I believe you are trying to tell me. You think I’m too fragile to handle it. To handle you. Well, you’re wrong.”
“You haven’t got a clue what you’re dealing with, not with me.”
“Maybe I don’t. Maybe you haven’t let me.” Suddenly strong, suddenly sure, she walked to him. “Every time we’ve made love, it hasn’t been for you.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. O
f course it was for me.”
“It was for me,” she said firmly. Strong, she thought. Strong face, strong eyes, strong hands. Not a picture in a magazine, or a white knight fantasy. A strong man, with strong needs. “You were so careful, so patient. No one’s ever been careful with me before.”
“I know.” Because he did, his hand was gentle when he lifted it to brush the golden curls of her hair. “You don’t have to worry anymore.”
“Don’t treat me like a child, Devin.” Boldly she took his face in her hands, that familiar and compelling face. “You were holding back. Every time, you were holding back. I’ve been too dazzled to realize it.”
“Cassie, you need tenderness.”
“Don’t tell me what I need.” Her voice had a snap to it, there was a spark in her eyes. “I’ve had enough of that in my life. Yes, I need tenderness, but I also need trust and respect, and to be treated like a woman. A normal woman.”
As carefully as he could, he wrapped his fingers around her wrists. “Don’t push me here, Cassie.” He pressed his lips to her brow, and infuriated her.
“Kiss me like you mean it,” she demanded, then crushed her lips to his. She felt his jolt, the burst of heat, then his struggle for control. “Show me what it’s like,” she said against his mouth. “I want to know what it’s like, what you’re like when you stop thinking.”
With an oath, he devoured her mouth. It was like that first shocking kiss, she realized as her blood burst inside her veins. The first and the last time he had given her a glimpse of real hunger.
There was that surge of power again, that odd, whippy sensation that she could do or be anything. She strained against him when he tried to draw back.
“Damn it, Cassie.”