“I earn my keep here. What’s the difference?”
“You know very well the difference, so I’ll not mention it again.”
Until the next time, Cassie thought wearily. “Would you like some iced tea, Mama?”
“I can get through an hour without sipping or snacking.” Constance set her purse firmly on her lap, crossed her ankles above her sensible shoes. “Sit down, Cassandra. The children are in school, I take it.”
“Yes. They’re doing very well. They’ll be home in about an hour. I hope you’ll stay and see them.”
“It’s you I’ve come to see.” She unsnapped her bag with fingers adorned with only a thin gold band. There was no glint to it, no shine. As, Cassie thought, there had been no glint or shine to her parents’ marriage. She often thought, after a visit with her mother, that her father had died simply to escape it.
But she said nothing, waiting as her mother drew out an envelope. She didn’t have to see the handwriting to know who it was from.
“This is the latest letter I received from your husband. It came in this morning’s mail.” Constance held it out. “I want you to read it.”
Cassie folded her hands in her lap, linked her fingers. “No.”
Eyes narrowed with righteous anger, Constance studied her daughter. “Cassandra, you will read this letter.”
“No, ma’am, I won’t. He’s not my husband.”
Constance’s thin, pale face went dark with temper. “You took vows before God.”
“And I’ve broken them.” It was hard, so hard, to keep her voice and hands from trembling, to keep her eyes level.
“You take pride in that? You should be ashamed.”
“No, not pride. But you can’t make me sorry for breaking them, Mama. Joe
broke them long before I did.”
She refused to look at the letter, refused to feel this bitter anger, that even so small a part of him had come into her home. Instead, she kept her eyes on her mother’s face.
“Love, honor, cherish. Did he love me, Mama, when he beat me? Did he honor me when he used his fists on me? Did he cherish me when he raped me?”
“You will not speak that way about your husband.”
“I came to you when I had nowhere to go, when he’d hurt me so badly I could hardly walk, when my children were terrorized. And you sent me away.”
“Your place was at home, making the best of your marriage.”
“I made the best of it for ten years, and it nearly killed me. You should have been there for me, Mama. You should have stood up for me.”
“I stood up for what was right.” Constance’s mouth was a thin line. “If you forced him to discipline you—”
“Discipline me!” Stunned, even after all the time that had passed, Cassie leaped to her feet. “He had no right to discipline me. I was his wife, not his dog. And not even a dog deserved to be treated the way I was. He would have disciplined me to death, if I hadn’t finally found the courage to do something about it. Would that have satisfied you, Mama? I’d have kept my vows then. Till death do us part.”
“You’re overdramatizing. And whatever happened before is done. He’s seen his mistakes. It was the drink, the women who tempted him. He’s asking for your forgiveness, and hopes that you will keep your vows, as he intends to.”
“He can’t have my forgiveness, and he can’t have me. How can you do this to me? I’m your daughter, your only child.” Cassie’s eyes were no longer haunted, but steely. “How can you take the side of a man who hurt me and betrayed me and made my life a misery? Don’t you want me to be happy?”
“I want you to do what’s expected of you. I expect you to do as you’re told.”
“Yes, that’s all you ever wanted from me. To do what I was told, to be what you expected me to be. Why do you think I married him, Mama?”
Cassie couldn’t believe the words were coming out of her mouth, but they wouldn’t be stopped. Just as the emotions that pushed them from her heart to her throat and through her lips wouldn’t be stopped.
“It was to get away from you, to get out of that house, where nobody ever laughed, nobody ever showed any affection.”