When my eyes saw his back, he was kicking around the grass and muttering to himself.
Brooks.
When he turned to face me, any irritation he felt disappeared and was replaced with heavy intense concern. As I ran toward him, I tripped over my own feet and his arms reached out, catching me.
“Whoa, Maggie, what’s going on?”
I opened my mouth to speak, but all I heard in my head was the sound of the devil shushing me, pressing his skin against my skin, pressing his finger against my lips. Against my forehead. Against my earlobes. Against me. He was going to kill me.
There was a rustling behind us and I jumped, my eyes wide as I pushed myself against Brooks hard, clamoring for protection.
“Maggie, it’s fine. It’s just a squirrel. What freaked you out? What happened to you?” No words could leave me. My fingers grasped Brooks’ shirt, pulling him closer to me. He didn’t ask any questions, but he did hold me tight. “It’s okay, Maggie. You’re okay.”
I sobbed into his t-shirt, and he just held on tighter.
I blinked.
The lights were already bright, and the nurse kept shining her flashlight into my eyes. Into my nose. Into my ears. Into my mouth.
I blinked.
Daddy had tears in his eyes, but they weren’t falling. He leaned against the wall, his hand in a fist, his fist resting against his mouth, his mouth speaking no words.
Blink.
Mama cried when the nurse mentioned an SAK. I didn’t know what it was, but it made Mama sob.
Blink.
The nurse swabbed me all over. My lips, my cheeks, my thighs, my…
Blink.
She combed through my hair. Leaves fell out. She found blood. Daddy began to cry softly.
Blink.
She cut my dress and shook it out. There was dirt. My dress was dirty. I was dirty. Everywhere. My poppy was gone. Where had my poppy flower gone? She picked at my nails. My nail polish was ruined. My nails were ruined. I was ruined.
Blink.
They carried me to the car. I crawled into a ball. The streetlights flashed reds and greens. The yellows blurred. I saw his face in my mind.
Blink.
Calvin and Cheryl were on the porch when I got home. They didn’t speak. I didn’t either.
Blink.
Mama and Daddy took me to their bedroom, and I cried into their sheets, shaking, feeling dirty, broken, used. Scared. So scared.
Shh…
Shh…
Did the nurse get it? Did she get his taste on my lips? Did she get his skin on my skin? Did she…?
Blink.