And now we were here. Right people. Wrong time.
Had we missed our chance? Had we ever had a chance?
Ryleigh snuggled in as her breaths deepened and lengthened.
“Why him? Why did you have to fall for him, Ry?” I whispered, knowing she was asleep as I ran my fingers through her hair. She was the kind of girl who gave her heart completely, and he’d crushed her, warped her sense of what she really deserved. The unfairness of it all cut me to the bone because I wanted that heart for myself. I wanted her love.
My hand stilled, but my heart thundered so loud I was sure it would wake her.
Fuck me, I was falling for her.
14
Ryleigh
“You feeling okay?” Caspian asked me as he carried our empty plates into my kitchen. He arched a brow at me from the sink, and I swear my heart climbed right up into my throat.
I sat our glasses down and leaned against the counter next to him, watching him rinse the plates. “I can do that,” I said, and he shook his head.
“I know you can,” he said. “But you cooked. Cleanup is the least I can do. Besides, you’re avoiding my question.” He put the plates in the dishwasher, then our glasses, and dried his hands on a cup towel as he turned to face me.
“I’m fine,” I said, my voice cracking. God, it had been three weeks of nothing but fun with Caspian. Between getting to know each other on a deeper level—not to mention our electric chemistry between the sheets—I genuinely loved spending time with him in any capacity. Whether that was hanging out watching Netflix, watching him on the ice for a pick-up game, or joining him for a morning run. It didn’t matter what we were doing, we always found the fun. We didn’t need plans or lists or helpful prompts to get intimate. We had a connection on a level I’d never experienced before, and I’d already totally fallen for him.
“You’ve been quiet all night, Ryleigh,” he said, drawing me back to the present. The present where his massive frame towered over me, his muscles carved underneath his white T-shirt. “You’re never quiet.”
I forced a laugh, and walked to my kitchen island, putting space between us. If I wasn’t careful, I was going to end up telling him I loved him and then we’d be in a whole world of trouble. Because it was too fast and it was Caspian. He wasn’t a relationship type guy, and sure, we’d had an incredible time these past few weeks, but did he still think we were playing a game? He’d asked me the other night what we were doing, and I’d totally choked on my opportunity to be real with him. Call me selfish, but I didn’t want to lose what we had, didn’t want to ruin it with the admission that my heart was totally, wholly his.
Had he noticed that I hadn’t even mentioned Chuck in weeks? That I’d long since gotten over my desire to get him back?
Caspian noted the move, his eyes flashing with concern as he looked at where I leaned against the kitchen island. “Ryleigh,” he said my name again, this time with equal levels of demand and concern. “Did I do something—”
“No,” I cut him off, shaking my head. “Well, yeah, actually you did.”
He visibly swallowed, eyes widening. “Was it last night? Because you seemed to enjoy it when I—”
My laugh cut him off, and he raised his brows at me. “Sorry,” I quickly said. “No. Caz, I’m pretty sure you could do anything to me in the bedroom and I would love it.”
His lips quirked up at that, and the look he gave me had my entire body trembling in anticipation. “Then what is it exactly that I did?”
The weight on my chest amplified. I couldn’t tell him the whole truth, but I could give him a piece of it. Maybe that would help relieve the pressure. “You make me laugh,” I said, and he tilted his head. “And you listen to me,” I continued. “You always find the fun, never struggling or complaining when plans change. You have this confidence that is infectious and a smile that makes my entire day. You’re kind and cocky and strong and the things you do to my body legit send me into orbit. You make me feel…desirable and smart and empowered.”
“Okay,” he said, dragging out the word as he slowly closed the distance between us. He rested a hand on either side of me, caging me against the island as he looked down at me. “And you’re upset about this? Enough to make your normally beautiful ramble-setting on mute?” I laughed, shaking my head. I smoothed my hand over his chest, shifting to meet his gaze. “No, I’m not upset. I’m…” In love with you. “I’m just…” Fuck, why was this so hard? We could talk about literally anything without batting an eye—we’d had an hour-long conversation about the Marvel Universe yesterday, but I couldn’t say one damn thing about my feelings? Ugh. “This isn’t a game to me, Caz,” I said, sighing. “I know we started off that way, but things have changed. For me. And I don’t want to put any pressure on you, but this, what we’re doing, it’s real for me.” There. I said it. And if he walked out the door right now—