Not about to hear that load of crap again, I cut in, “Yeah, you don’t want to be around me because you’ve decided you’re at fault because you somehow have the power over death. I remember. Well, no worries, Patton. I release you from your obligation. You don’t have to force yourself to be around me.”
“Force myself?” He sounds like I made an incredulous claim.
I gesture for him to go. “I know what I’m doing, so you don’t have to be guilty where I’m concerned. Just go, go and live your life.”
He reaches for me then, grabbing on to my arm with a tight hold. I could jerk away from him, but even like this, I like him touching me. I shouldn’t. I should force him to let go of me, but I don’t even try. He’s breathing heavily as he looks into my eyes. “There’s things you don’t understand, Cora.”
I take a step toward him until we are so close I can feel his breath on my forehead. My head is bent back so I can look up at him. There’s so much pain in his eyes that what I really want to do is wrap my arms around his middle and hold on to him. But I don’t. Instead, I put my hand on my hip. “Well, explain it to me.”
PATTON
“Nothing you could say or do would make me stop caring about what happens to you, and that includes you putting yourself at risk,” I tell her, hoping she’ll accept the answer and leave it at that.
“Why not? I’m not your responsibility,” she says, crossing her arms and looking up at me with her lips that are so plump and look as if they are just begging to be kissed.
Looking into her eyes, I can’t lie to her. “I like you, Cora, and I have for a long time. But not only are you too young, you’re Jason’s little sister.”
Obviously, looking into her beautiful eyes is like being injected with truth potion.
“I shouldn’t have said that,” I amend. “It’s not your problem, and it’s so inappropriate. What matters is that I care what happens to you.”
Her forehead creases, and she’s looking at me with absolutely no trust in her eyes. It’s as if she thinks I’m lying to her. She points at herself. “You like me?” She doesn’t wait for me to answer; instead she starts rambling. “Excuse me if I don’t believe you. I mean, you’ve ignored me for a whole year. You’ve lived in the same city, worked with the same hospital as me, and you’ve avoided me. So I mean, yeah, I’m sorry if I have a hard time believing that you like me.”
I should leave it. I’ve already said more than I should. But the hurt in her eyes tells me I can’t leave it like it is. “Cora, I haven’t looked at another woman since I met you on your eighteenth birthday. Fuck, I spent the four years from the day I met you until the day I kissed you dreaming about you... my best friend’s little sister. You were... are off limits. There’s nothing that can come of this, especially now, with everything with Jason.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” she says, enunciating each word.
I shrug my shoulders, not wanting to hear it.
“Okay, so if nothing can come of this”—she points between the two of us—“then what are you doing here? Why did you choose this town? My hospital?”
I shake my head back and forth. “Because I promised your brother I would take care of you.”
She rears back like I’ve slapped her. “I’m not a girl with a teenage crush anymore, Patton. I’m a full-grown woman who makes my own decisions, and that would still be the case even if Jason were still alive. I’m not looking for anyone to watch over and babysit me. I can take care of myself. So whatever you feel you owe Jason... well, don’t let it include me. I can take care of myself. I did when my brother died. I did when my parents divorced and moved across the country, and I took care of myself when you avoided every one of my phone calls for the past year. So yeah, don’t even think I’m going to believe you’re so concerned with me.”
“Cora, I-“
“No. I’m working, and I’m not leaving until I’m done.”
6
Cora
I walk off before he can say something else. I can’t help but feel flustered at his claim.
Does he really think about me like that? Or is he just trying to manipulate me because he knows what a big crush I had on him?
“Let’s go,” Patton says.
“I’m not just out here doing a job, Patton. I care deeply about the work I do, and this is a big part of it. I’ll leave when I’ve finished and not a moment before.” I take a pair of socks from the bag on my arm and proceed to hand out the items I brought with me. I have a drop-off center at the hospital, and the therapy hospital and the community really gives back. I have been able to provide items every week, and although there is always a need for more, I can’t complain because the items we do have have been a blessing to the community. I give several of the veterans who are there my card with the number and address of the office.