Peeling the fruits correctly was a painstaking job, which enabled Jillian to keep her eyes on her work as she answered, as casually as she could,
“I don’t know what you mean. Nothing is going on with us.”
“That’s what I’m talking about!” Suzanne exclaimed. “You went from always whispering to each other and disappearing all the time into the pantry to nothing at all. You barely talk except during dinner service when you’re running the pass and calling orders and even then all I hear him say to you is, “Yes, Chef!”
“I told you I was going to be more professional,” Jillian said, frowning as she continued to peel the fibrous kooka fruit with swift, brutal strokes. “There was no excuse for the way we were acting. So I put a stop to it.”
“Jilly…” Suzanne put down her own fruit and peeler and frowned at her. “You didn’t just put a stop in the kitchen—you put a stop to the whole relationship, didn’t you?”
“If I did, that would be my business,” Jillian said sharply. She kept her eyes on her fruit, refusing to meet her friend’s gaze.
“Don’t be like that,” Suzanne said softly. “Come on, Jilly, what’s wrong? You can tell me—you know you can.”
Jillian sighed and stopped peeling. Keeping her eyes down, she said,
“He wants me to ‘tame’ his Ursus—that huge bear-thing he turns into.”
“Tame it? What does that mean?” Suzanne wanted to know.
“It means he wants me to get up close and personal with it—like close enough to look into its eyes and practically put my head in its mouth or something!” Jillian exclaimed. She gripped the fruit she’d been peeling tighter. “You know how I feel about big predatory animals, Suze. You know what happened when I was a kid.”
Suzanne was one of the few people she’d told about the dog attack, so she knew her friend would understand what she was talking about.
“Oh, Jilly…” Suzanne put a hand on her arm and squeezed sympathetically. “Is that really the only way? I mean, does he know about your past?”
“I told him the night I kicked him out of my suite,” Jillian said tightly. “But he says that ‘taming’ his Ursus is the only way we can bond.” She shook her head. “I don’t see what the big deal about bonding is, anyway! Humans have been getting married without bonding for thousands of years and we’re just fine.”
“Yes, and half of all human marriages end in divorce,” Suzanne said dryly. “I know you don’t get the value of bonding, Jilly, because you’ve never had a bond before. But believe me, there’s no substitute for it—it’s a whole other level of commitment and intimacy you just can’t get any other way.”
“Well, it’s one commitment I won’t be making,” Jillian snapped. “I can’t do it, Suze—I can’t get near that huge Grizzly bear thing again. I just can’t!”
As she spoke, her grip on the kooka fruit tightened until it popped. Pale pink flesh squeezed from between her fingers and ran over the stainless steel counter.
Suzanne’s eyes widened and she put an arm around Jillian, who was sobbing now, tears running down her face as the misery of the situation overwhelmed her.
“It’s okay, Jilly—everything is going to be all right,” she said soothingly.
“N-no it’s n-not,” Jillian sobbed. “I went and did it again—I let m-myself get involved with a man that’s n-no good for me! I’m such an idiot, Suze!”
“You’re not an idiot!” her friend said firmly. She gave Jillian’s shoulders a squeeze. “You’re just scared. And who could blame you? I mean, after the way Brad treated you and the dog attack when you were a kid—of course you’re scared of getting involved again!”
Jillian sniffed and swiped at her eyes.
“Anyway, it doesn’t matter now because it’s over. At least I ended this one before I was in too deep.” She tried to laugh and couldn’t quite manage it. “Too bad I wasn’t as smart when it came to Brad, huh?”
“Oh, hon…” Suzanne shook her head. “I don’t think you can compare Brad to Kalis. They’re not remotely alike.”
“They have one thing in common, at least,” Jillian said fiercely. “Neither one of them is any good for me.” She took a deep breath and started wiping the smashed kooka fruit off her fingers and the counter with a kitchen towel. “That’s enough crying for one day—we’d better finish these fruits if we want to be ready for service tomorrow.”
Suzanne was a good friend who knew when to drop a subject. So she only nodded and the two women went on peeling in peace. But before they left for the night, she had one more thing to say to Jillian.
“Just think about it a little more before you close that door forever,” she said, as they were saying goodnight. “Don’t give up on Kalis so quickly, Jilly.”