I didn’t know what she was getting at, but I kept my distance.
“I hate having to pretend, Rowdy.”
“Pretend?”
She went over to the bed and sat down, staring at her hands that were in her lap. “I might regret this in the morning, but I just wanted to tell you how I really feel.” She lifted her head and stared at me, and the way her big blue eyes pleaded with me could have had me falling to my knees for this girl. Her blonde hair hung loosely over her shoulders, and I couldn’t help but stare at her.
She’s just so fucking beautiful.
“I admit my inhibitions are down, and that’s why I’m even bringing this up. But if I don’t get this out I’ll regret it.” She smiled, but it didn’t really reach her eyes. “I might even regret opening my mouth come morning, but I don’t care right now, Rowdy.”
I held the neck of my beer bottle in my hand and looked into her eyes.
“I care about you so much.”
My heart jackknifed in my chest. “I care about you too, Cassandra.”
She shook her head. “No,” she said and stopped speaking for long seconds. “I mean I love you. I love you so much it hurts sometimes because I know I can’t have you.”
And right there everything else stopped. There wasn’t anything else that mattered in the world aside from what Cassandra had just said.
4
Cassandra
He probably hated me about now. I never should have told him that I love him. The alcohol had completely taken away my filter, and now I didn’t know what to do. He cared about me. That was so sweet but not what I wanted. I wanted more than to be cared for. I’d have even gone for him feeling desire, or something else. Instead, he cared for me.
How lame was that? Some women may like to think of a man caring for them—not me. Rowdy was not the kind of man to fuck a woman he cared about. He cared about his sister.
“Just forget I even said anything. It was really silly of me.”
“No.” He stopped me from moving by holding my arms and making me sit back down on the bed.
Why did we have to be in this room, in private? It was like everything I couldn’t have, and he was taunting me with it.
“Look, I know you’ll never feel the same way about me, and that just sucks.” I stared everywhere but at him. I don’t want to stare at him in case I broke down in tears.
The alcohol had given me a delightful buzz, and now I wished I’d gone home. Partying was way overrated.
“Will you calm down?” he asked, and I didn’t even realize I’d been waffling on.
“I’m sorry.”
“Cassandra, when I say I care about you, it means everything. I don’t even think you realize what that means.”
Staring at him, I didn’t know what to say. When it came to Rowdy I was always confused.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. You smile, and just to see it, it lights up my whole world. I’ve never been attracted to anyone more than I am with you.”
“Rowdy?”
“No, let me finish. The way you make me feel, if Eric—your father—was to know, he’d murder me.”
I couldn’t help it, I cupped his face and slammed my lips against his. I didn’t give him time to think about my father, or anything else. I only cared about what the two of us wanted together.
Flicking my tongue across his lips, I moaned as he dived back in again, deepening the kiss. Rowdy took over, controlling the kiss. He wrapped my hair around my fist and started to pull back on the strands. I moaned as the bite of pain rushing through my body from that tug.
“Baby, what the fuck are you doing to me? If Eric catches us, we’re screwed.”
“I don’t care. I only want you. Please, please,” I begged.
I don’t mind begging, in fact, I like it.
He tilted my head back and claimed my lips again, only this time he was much more bruising in his demand. I closed my eyes, basking in his tongue as he flicked it across my lips and I opened up for him.
“You have the sweetest fucking lips I’ve ever tasted.”
My pussy was on fire, and I knew that I wanted him to kiss and lick somewhere else. I couldn’t control all of these thoughts, and he was only serving to turn me on even more. I wanted him so bad.
The hand in my hair moved down, and his fingers stroked over my collarbone and then down to my nipple. I blushed as my nipple grew erect. My pussy was so slick, and even though I’m a virgin, I wasn’t afraid. I wanted Rowdy to be my first, and my only.