But I can never tell him, either.
Exhaling roughly, I forced myself to turn away and go over to the bench to start my warm-up. I didn’t come to the gym as much as I’d like, but it wasn’t because I enjoyed working out. In fact I hated it, loathed it even. I knew it was good for me, and I liked spending time with my dad, but I also wanted to come here and watch Rowdy. It was sad, in a way, wanting a guy that I could never have.
I knew telling him I wanted him would probably end up with me having my heart broken, because he’d give me a sympathetic look. He’d probably tell me I wasn’t his type, or we could never be together because Eric was his trainer.
I’d come to terms with it being what it was, but that didn’t stop me from thinking about the life I could have with the guy I was totally in love with.
2
Rowdy
After the late night fight, I followed several of the guys to a party. I don’t know who was holding it, but it had to be with someone who was loaded. The house was fucking huge. The front lawn was covered in tissue, empty beer cups, and couples in different stages of making out and sex.
The party was pretty wild, but it was also on some property so I doubted anyone would be calling the cops for a noise disturbance.
After entering the party, I moved away from the guys and headed toward the kitchen to grab a beer. The music was loud to the point that it felt as if the walls were vibrating. I was getting fucking old if I was starting to worry about the state of the house. Grabbing a beer, I popped the lid off and started walking around the party. Several of the guys I recognized from the gym, and some of the women as well.
Drinking my beer, I thought about the one person that consumed my mind on a daily basis.
Cassandra.
She was the one girl I wanted but couldn’t have, because being with her would cross a line, and I didn’t want to be that kind of fucker.
But still I searched the party for her, knowing she probably wasn’t here. I’d never seen her at any of these parties, but then I always doubted she got out much. Her father was my trainer and he was one tough motherfucker.
And then I did see her, and my entire body tensed.
Why was she here?
Some jackass was leaning against the wall, reaching out to twirl a strand of her hair around his finger. I instantly became angry, frustrated, and fucking jealous. Gripping the neck of my beer bottle tightly, I watched for a few seconds, telling myself it wasn’t my place to do a damn thing. But this voice in my head screamed at me to be a man and stop it.
She’s mine. No one else can have her but me.
My desire for Cassandra went above anything that was considered rational. I’d known her for years but when she was younger, I just saw her as my trainer’s daughter. She was off-limits, and I wasn’t going to cross that line and be an asshole. But as she got older, matured into a woman, something in me changed. I started seeing her, not as my trainer’s daughter, but something more desirable.
I grew possessive of her, hell, even obsessed. But I was really fucking good at hiding what I wanted, especially when I knew I couldn’t get it.
Eric was like a second father to me, and being with Cassandra almost seemed … taboo.
But when that motherfucker near Cassandra touched her cheek and she turned her head, clearly not wanting it, I couldn’t stop myself anymore.
Storming over there, I pushed the asshole away, giving him a look that was warning enough, and took hold of her hand.
Eric would want me to do this, I told myself. But the truth was I was doing this for myself.
“Hey, dude, bad move,” the guy said when my back was turned.
My entire body tensed and I slowly turned around. The guy was big but not bigger than me. “Touching a girl that didn’t want to be touched was a bad move on your part.” I stepped up to him, ready to throw down. “We gonna have a problem?”
I wanted him to have a problem. I’d love to have any reason to put my fist in his face. The asshole must have finally realized what he was up against, because he shook his head and wandered off.
“What was that about?” Cassandra asked, pulling away from me.
I faced her, seeing she looked just as shocked as she sounded. “Stopping some fucking drunk prick from assaulting you probably. What the hell are you doing here?”
“I was fine, and he was harmless.”