Love, a primal voice rumbles inside of me. Of course, you love her. She’s your woman.
The word almost explodes out of me as I stare at her, consuming the sight of her patient face, of her love filled eyes.
But do I really know she’d say it back?
What if she screams at me, angry for me pushing her too fast?
She said she was ready for our soul-searing sex and then changed her mind.
Maybe this would be too fast as well.
It’s not the thought of the guards hearing that stops me. They’re stationed outside the safe house… still within the perimeter wall of this enclosed property, but outside the walls of the home itself. This used to belong to a secretive businessman, blocked off from the rest of the city by its high protective walls.
No, I can’t blame the guards.
Even if they’re here to protect us, it’s the quivering inside of me that stops me.
Fuck.
Protect us?
I’ll always protect my woman, no matter what happens, no matter who tries to derail what we’re beginning together.
But only a fool would deny extra protection because when I put ego and bluster aside, all that matters is keeping my woman safe.
And three guns are always going to be better than one.
“Rider?” she calls quietly, as I sit back, removing my hand from her cheek.
“Hmm?” I murmur.
“What are you thinking about? You sort of went all starry-eyed there.”
Something deep inside of me groans at me to tell her, to tell her right now, but the same defenses rise, the ones which roar at me that I could derail everything if I move too quickly. As painful as it is, I find myself listening to it…
Because I’m feeling more than love, more than closeness, more than fate.
For the first time since I was a child, I’m scared.
That’s the cold truth.
I’m scared she won’t say it back.
Goddamn.
Is this what it feels like to be a proper person again?
I nod at the menu. “Come on, princess. We’re both starving. Let’s choose what we want so we can eat as quickly as possible.”
She looks at me a moment longer – a light glinting in her eyes – and then turns to the menu.
Chapter Nineteen
Ruby
We decide to share an extra-large pizza, the toppings split down the middle. Rider goes for meat feast and I have ham and pineapple. It feels like a strange meal to eat in this dining room, with the classic artwork hanging on the walls, the candle flames flitting off the golden-colored wallpaper, with the small chandelier casting more mood-setting light around the room.
But we’re both starving and, after some banter, we agreed that pizza looked like the most appetizing option.
He smirks over at me as I lay a couple of slices on my plate.
But behind the smirk, I’m sure I detect something. I’d say it was uncertainty.
But what the heck does he have to be uncertain about?
He’s tall and handsome and strong and mine. Oh, God, he’s mine most of all.
Earlier, before we sent one of the guards to collect our food, I was sure Rider was going to say something. It was right after I got all teary eyed during our discussion about fate.
He stared at me, and there was something glimmering in his eyes, a meaning I couldn’t quite grasp.
For a crazy second, I thought he was going to roar, I love you.
I was ready to say it back, even if it makes no sense…
No, it does make sense, but it shouldn’t.
We should find the concept ridiculous.
But I don’t find it anything close to ridiculous.
In fact, it feels like the most reliable sentiment I’ve ever experienced, the most trustworthy emotion I’ve ever felt.
But then the moment passed and I was left to wonder if it had happened at all.
“I can’t believe you got pineapple on your pizza,” he teases as he picks up his meaty slice. “If I didn’t need you so badly, princess, I might have to rethink this whole together-for-life thing. I’m joking, of course… I’d rather die than be separated from you. But you get the point.”
I giggle. “Sorry, I’m not a barbarian who needs every meat imaginable on his pizza.”
“You’re damn right. I am a barbarian.”
He bites into his pizza and I do the same. It tastes heavenly after so long without food, and I can’t stop myself from munching down the rest of the slice quickly. I sit back once I’m done, shame pricking me, my eyes downcast even as my body calls out for another slice.
“What is it?” Rider asks, who’s also finished his slice.
“Nothing,” I say quietly.
“Ruby…”
His tone is lightly imploring. I know he’d let the issue drop if I asked him to, but at the same time, it’s so refreshing to have somebody to talk to. And not just somebody.
My man.
We’re going to have children together. We’re going to be together forever.