Just thinking of Zafir’s easy acceptance of her secret and how tender he’d been was overwhelming. At every step when she’d expected him to look at her in horror, turn and walk away...reject her...he’d done the opposite.
A flashback came of sweaty limbs entwined, his hand hard on her thigh, clamping her in place so he could thrust even deeper...
Kat felt a fine sweat break out over her body.
To say she was raw and exposed was an understatement. She hadn’t felt like this since the aftermath of the accident. It was as if he’d torn her apart and put her back together, and now she wasn’t sure who she was any more.
The thought of that grey gaze narrowing on her made her pace back and forth now, gnawing at a nail. A bad habit she’d cut out years before.
Zafir had effectively demolished every wall she’d erected around herself last night, and now there was nothing left to hide behind. The knowledge that she’d been using her leg as a defence mechanism to keep him at a distance was not welcome. And the thought of another night like last night was terrifying.
She was very much afraid he’d effortlessly expose things that she wasn’t even ready to admit to herself yet. Like how far he’d burrowed under her skin again. Like how much she yearned for him to look at her as he had before, when she’d done no w
rong in his eyes.
He’d used to look at her and say, ‘I can’t believe someone like you exists in this world...’
A curt rap on the door stopped Kat in her tracks.
‘Kat? Are you ready? My car is waiting to take us to the airport.’
To take them to Jandor. Back to the place where Kat had realised just how ill-suited she was to become a permanent part of Zafir’s life. And yet she’d tried to convince herself it would be all right.
Her recent thoughts and revelations still reverberating in her head sickeningly, she walked to the door and opened it. Zafir filled her vision. He’d changed into a charcoal suit and looked regal and impressive.
Before she could stop herself, she blurted out, ‘There’s something I need to say before we leave.’
Unfazed, even though Kat could imagine the veritable army of people waiting for them to leave, he just said, ‘Okay.’
She was glad of her slim-fitting trousers and silk shirt. She wanted to send out a no-nonsense vibe.
She walked into the suite and turned around to face Zafir, steeling herself. ‘What happened last night won’t be happening again.’
Even as she said it she could feel her heart give a betraying lurch. And between her legs pulsed as if in protest.
Zafir leant his shoulder against the doorframe and folded his arms. He raised a brow. ‘And why would that be?’
Kat wanted to pace, but forced herself to stand still and sound cool and blasé. ‘Because last night was enough for me. And, in any case, Jandor is hardly an appropriate location for the King to be conducting an illicit affair with someone who is eminently unsuitable.’
Zafir straightened up from the wall, his gaze narrowing on her just as she’d feared. ‘You never did like Jandor.’
Kat thought she detected a note of bitterness in his voice, and she responded defensively. ‘That’s not true. From the moment I first saw it from the plane I thought it was magical...’
Zafir looked sceptical.
‘It’s true,’ Kat said, less vehemently now, afraid of revealing too much. ‘I loved Jahor too. It was just... The palace was so huge and intimidating.’
She shivered now, remembering the massive empty corridors. The hushed reverence. Her fear of doing something wrong. The feeling of hundreds of eyes on her that she couldn’t see.
‘And you were so busy. I hardly saw you.’ Kat hated the accusing note in her voice.
To her surprise, Zafir unfolded his arms and ran a hand through his hair.
He sighed. ‘Maybe you’re right. My father monopolised my attention.’ Those grey eyes pinned her to the spot. ‘I shouldn’t have left you alone so much.’
Kat broke eye contact, not wanting him to see how much that impacted on her. ‘It wouldn’t have changed anything in the end,’ she said. She had to keep reminding herself of that fact. If not him.
‘I’m sorry I hurt you, Kat. I never meant to do that.’