She looked down and saw his handprint. Her hair hid her face as she said in a slightly breathless voice, ‘It’s okay...it doesn’t hurt.’
Zafir scooped her hair over her shoulder and tipped her chin up so she had to look at him. She was wary, but he could see the heat in her eyes. He kept his eyes on hers as he moved so that he was between her thighs...his erection notched against the place where she was hot and wet. Ready for him.
It was too much. Zafir didn’t have a hope as he gave in to the raging desire inside him, blocked out all the warning voices and slid home. Again. And again. Until he was reduced to rubble and the voices were mercifully quiet.
* * *
Kat woke up surrounded by steel and heat. She couldn’t breathe. Panic gripped her and she instinctively thrashed out, flailing uncontrollably.
She vaguely heard a sound, but it took long seconds for her to realise that Zafir had all but pinned her to the bed and was now looming over her saying, ‘Kat, relax—it’s me... You’re okay.’
She went still, even though panic still raced through her blood. Eventually it dissipated and she asked shakily, ‘What happened?’
‘You were lashing out...screaming. “Get it off me! Get it off...”’
The first tendrils of understanding sank in, quickly followed by embarrassment. She breathed deep. Zafir’s very naked body was over hers, but even that couldn’t distract her from the fact that she’d just had the same nightmare she’d had for months after the accident.
She pulled back from Zafir’s embrace and he let her go reluctantly, as if he knew she needed space but didn’t want to allow it.
She struggled to find a way to explain herself. ‘I’m sorry... If I feel claustrophobic it brings back the accident...when I was trapped under the truck.’
Zafir reared back. ‘I make you feel claustrophobic?’
Kat was shocked at the hurt she heard in Zafir’s voice. ‘No...no. I’m just not used to waking up in bed with someone.’
Kat realised that part of it was disbelief that Zafir was still here—that she’d woken in his arms. The claustrophobia lingered, but it had nothing to do now with traumatic memories and everything to do with feelings rising inside her that she didn’t want to analyse, like a coward.
She sat up and avoided his eye. ‘I think I’ll take a bath. Could you pass me my robe, please?’
Zafir said nothing for a long moment, and then he got out of the bed, unashamedly naked, and handed her a silken robe. Kat watched him walk into the bathroom and registered the sound of water running. She quickly pulled on the robe, covering her own nakedness, and scooted to the edge of the bed.
Zafir reappeared in the doorway, sti
ll naked. Ridiculously, Kat felt like blushing and she blurted out, ‘Could you hand me my crutches?’
Zafir strode over, saying, ‘You don’t need your crutches.’
He was about to bend down and pick her up into his arms but Kat put out her hands, heart thumping treacherously at the innately masculine reaction.
‘No, Zafir, I can do it myself.’
He drew back and looked down at her, a muscle pulsing in his jaw. ‘Very well.’
He went and retrieved her crutches from the other room and Kat pulled herself upright on them, making her way into the bathroom, burning with self-consciousness. The only people who had seen her like this were medical professionals and Julie. Not a lover. Not Zafir.
She didn’t want to turn around to see what might be on his face and she shut the bathroom door behind her, feeling alternately stronger than she’d ever felt but also weak. As if she’d scored some useless point.
She turned off the taps of the bath and disrobed, carefully stowing the crutches and lowering herself into the steaming, fragrant water.
The water lapped around her and a sense of déjà vu struck her as she recalled the last time she’d had a bath and where her mind had gone. She couldn’t stop the images of the night they’d just shared from circling in her head like a lurid movie.
When he’d come back to the bed as dawn had broken they’d made love again. He’d pulled her over his body so that she was straddling him, and just before he’d thrust up into her body he’d asked, ‘Is this okay? Are you comfortable?’
She’d nodded, aghast at how overcome she’d felt in that moment. She’d never seen this far more tender and gentle side to Zafir before. Even though there was nothing tender or gentle about their lovemaking.
She’d been so...uninhibited. Sex with Zafir had never felt like this. Before, she’d always felt somehow...aware of herself. Aware of all the women he’d been with before her and of her inexperience. It was as if a wall of glass had separated them, and no matter how skilful Zafir had been Kat had never lost herself completely, always holding some part of herself back.
But last night had been different. She’d lost herself completely. There’d been nothing between them but heat and lust and desperate need. It was as if she’d undergone some seismic shift.