‘He knew about my past...where I’d come from. I’d told him not long after I started working for him.’ Her mouth compressed at the memory of her naivety. ‘He seemed to have an ability to unearth people’s secrets. And he used that to make me feel guilty for even suggesting that I’d report him. That I would risk subjecting his sons to the same experience I’d had.’
Cruz interjected. ‘I would never have let that happen.’
‘You were on the other side of the world,’ Trinity pointed out. ‘And Rio didn’t want me to tell you what had happened. I knew you weren’t close, so how could I go behind his back?’
She stood up, feeling agitated. Pacing back and forth, aware of Cruz’s preternatural stillness.
‘But then suddenly he was offering me a solution—to marry him. It was crazy, ridiculous, but somehow he made it seem...logical.’
She stopped and faced Cruz.
‘He promised that it would be strictly in name only. He told me he’d hire a nanny to help. He said he wanted to appear more settled, to prove to people that he wasn’t just a useless playboy. He said that in return for taking care of the boys and going to some social functions with him I could name my price. Whatever I wanted...’
Something gleamed in Cruz’s eyes. ‘What was it, Trinity? What did you want?’
She hated it that even now Cruz seemed to be waiting for her to expose herself. She lifted her chin. ‘I told him I’d always wanted to go to college. To get a degree. And so he promised to fund my course once the boys were a little older and in a more settled routine.’
Cruz looked at her for a long moment and then shook his head. ‘I don’t get it. Even with the promise of fulfilling your college dream, why would you agree to a marriage like that unless you were going to get a lot more out of it? Evidently you didn’t sleep with Rio, but did you want to? Did you plan on seducing him? Making the marriage real?’
Disappointment vied with anger. ‘You will never believe me, will you? Even when you have to admit that I’m not a gold-digger, your cynicism just won’t let you...’
She went to walk out of the room, but Cruz caught her arm. She stopped and gritted her jaw against the reaction in her body.
Cruz pulled her around to face him, but before he could say anything, she inserted defensively, ‘Of course I wasn’t planning on seducing Rio. I had no interest in him like that, and he had no interest in me.’
She looked down for a moment, her damp hair slipping over one shoulder, but Cruz caught her chin between his thumb and forefinger, tipping it back up. Not letting her escape. There was something different in his eyes now—something that made her heart flip-flop.
He just said, ‘Why, Trinity?’
She felt as if he could see right down into the deepest part of her, where she had nothing left to hide.
She pulled her chin away from his hand and said, ‘I felt a sense of affinity with him...with the fact that in spite of our differences we had a lot in common.’ Her voice turned husky. ‘But the largest part of why I agreed was because I’d come to love Matty and Sancho. They needed me.’ Afraid that the next thing she’d see on Cruz’s face would be pity, Trinity said, ‘I’m well aware that my motivations had a lot to do with my own experiences, but I’m not afraid to admit that. They had no one else to look out for them, and I believed I was doing the right thing by them.’
She tried to pull her arm free of Cruz’s grip but it only tightened.
She glared at him, hating him for making her reveal so much. ‘Just let me go, Cruz. Now you know everything...and I know that after what just happened you won’t want a repeat performance...so can we just put it behind us? Please?’
He frowned. ‘Won’t want a repeat performance?’
He pulled her closer. Her breath hitched and her heart started pounding.
‘I hurt you, Trinity. If I’d known it was your first time I would have been much more gentle.’
She looked away, humiliation curdling her insides. ‘You really don’t have to pity me, Cruz. You came to your senses after kissing me that first time. I was unsuitable before and now I’m really unsuitable.’
* * *
Trinity had managed to pull her arm free and take a couple of steps towards the door when Cruz acted on blind instinct and grabbed her waist and hauled her back, trapping her against him with his arms around her body.
He was reeling from everything that had just transpired—the sheer fact of Trinity’s physical innocence was like a bomb whose aftershocks were still being felt. He didn’t like to admit it, but the knowledge that her marriage to Rio hadn’t been real... It eclipsed everything else at that moment, making a ragged and torn part of him feel whole again.
Trinity put her hands on his arms and tried to push, but he wouldn’t let her go. Not now. Not ever, whispered a voice. Base desires were overwhelming his need to analyse everything she’d just said. Later. When his brain had cleared.
She said in a frigid voice, ‘Let me go, Cruz.’
He turned her so she was facing him. Her face was flushed, eyes huge. He felt feral as he said, ‘Believe me when I say that the last thing I feel for you is pity, Trinity. Or that you’re unsuitable. And you’re wrong, you know...’
‘Wrong about what?’ She sounded shaky.