He shook his head. ‘Not in my world. I will deal with this consequence of our actions, but what we had is over, Edie.’
* * *
A few days later, back in London, in Sebastio’s penthouse, the pain of his parting words had faded to a dull ache. The worst of it was that, knowing about his life and what he’d been through, Edie had some perspective on why he was shutting her out so comprehensively. It didn’t excuse his behaviour, though, or make it any easier to bear.
When she’d landed back in London she’d had every intention of going back to her own apartment, but she’d been met by the resistance of Sebastio’s driver, Nick, and one of his assistants, who’d come to meet her and told her firmly that they had instructions to take her to his apartment and see that she had everything she needed.
She’d given in eventually, after asking Nick to take her to her apartment first so she could collect some things.
Sebastio was right. It wasn’t just about them now. It was about the baby, and she would at least do as he asked until they spoke when he came back. Which was any minute now. He’d been due to land about an hour ago.
Edie still wasn’t prepared to see him. When she heard the main door opening and closing she turned around from the window, arms folded. Tense all over.
Sebastio walked into the room, his eyes zeroing in on her immediately. She felt it like a jolt of electricity running through her system.
‘You’re here,’ he said flatly.
Edie nodded. He came into the room and Edie could see that he looked slightly strained. Her gut clenched. Did he really hate her so much?
‘I’m never sure what to expect where you’re concerned.’
Edie flinched inwardly. ‘I didn’t intend for this to happen, no matter what you might believe. It truly was a minute chance that I could get pregnant.’
‘If what you say about your cancer is true.’
Edie went cold all over. ‘You still don’t believe me.’
Sebastio was expressionless. Bored, even. ‘I believe that people will go to extraordinary lengths to seek a lifetime of security. You’ve hit the jackpot with pregnancy.’
Edie put a hand to her belly. It was trembling. ‘This is your baby. Our baby. It wasn’t conceived out of nefarious intentions. He, or she, was conceived out of l—’ She stopped herself just in time.
Sebastio’s eyes narrowed. He sneered. ‘What were you going to say? Love?’ He imbued the word with extreme distaste. ‘There was no love involved, Edie. Just lust.’
Edie couldn’t do it. She couldn’t pretend to be impervious like him. Cold and cynical.
She lifted her chin. ‘There is love—on my side anyway. I love you, Sebastio, in spite of doing my best not to fall for you. That’s why I left before the last party. To get away. I knew then that if I let the affair continue I’d get hurt. But it was too late even then...’
Sebastio heard Edie’s words but they didn’t—couldn’t—impact on the impenetrable wall he’d constructed around himself in the last few days. In spite of that, though, his last image before going to sleep every night had been her stricken face when he’d left her on his plane. And every night since she’d left he’d had that nightmare about the crash. Waking sweating and cursing. His body slick with sweat, aching for Edie’s soothing touch. Damn her.
And now she was looking at him with those wide deep blue eyes and telling him she loved him.
The words of his ex-lover came back to him. ‘Women will tell you they love you but it doesn’t exist. Not for us... They will only want you for your success and your wealth...’
‘Please,’ he said, ‘save yourself the dramatics. Your future is assured, thanks to your pregnancy. You’ll never want for anything, nor will the baby.’
Edie absorbed the fact that he’d just thrown her admission of love back in her face. ‘I get it,’ she said.
‘Get what?’
‘Why you can’t believe me. How can someone who grew up with parents who used him as a pawn even know what love looks like or feels like?’
‘Edie...’
There was clear warning in Sebastio’s voice but she ignored it. ‘You don’t believe you deserve it. How can you when your own friend blamed you for a tragedy that wasn’t your fault? Victor shouldn’t have blamed you. You were as much a victim of that awful accident as they were. You deserve to be happy too. You’ve been punishing yourself for too long.’
The bones on his face stood out starkly and he stalked over to where Edie was standing. She refused to take a step back. Tension snapped between them. She felt the heat. She could see it in Sebastio’s eyes. But he resented it. She could see that too.
‘You think it’s that simple? That all I need to do is forgive myself and forget a lifetime of lessons to trust in an emotion that is as intangible to me as air?’