Tia
It was weird being back. It was weird enough being back on home soil but even weirder was being in Tom Ferrano’s house, the Tudor style mansion that was where, on my high school graduation day, I found out my Dad sold me to Tom Ferrano and where I found out that I was to be presented to Tommy as potential marriage material. It had only been a few months since that day but it sort of felt like a lifetime ago. It was also the place where Tom kissed me in front of his whole family and then kidnapped me from the driveway. I shuddered in memory of all of that.
It’d been tense with Tommy and me for the past few days. I felt really stupid for putting us in danger because of connecting my Facebook account with a stupid game in order to get to the next level of the game. I didn’t realize how that small move alerted people who were watching for me to exactly where we were. He yelled for a little while after my phone call with Mia but in the end he said coming back and dealing with shit at home would be good for both of us. It wasn’t easy to keep my distance from him when we were under the same roof with nowhere else to go, especially considering he didn’t let me leave the place without him.
The night of the phone call to Mia was the first night in a long time that we hadn’t had sex. But in the morning when I woke up I had my arms wrapped around him, my head on his shoulder, and my leg draped over his thigh. I could feel that he was hard and so I woke him up with my mouth. I made him come and then leaned up, kissed his owl tattoo (like I always did every single morning when I woke up where he was still in bed with me), rolled away from him to get out of bed and he caught my wrist and pulled me back and with a tender look on his face he used his hand to make me come, not letting me look away, holding my eyes with his the whole time.
That day was quiet, with him in his shop and me in the house getting ready to pack for home and as I went through the motions of feeding the houseplants, clearing out the fridge of whatever might spoil in the next few weeks, and getting things done I thought about what I’d say to the girls. I had to say enough to get them to back off without revealing too much. Tommy didn’t ever want me talking about him to anyone. His rule #2 was to not discuss him with anyone. But he’d have to bend enough to let me get the people that cared about me to chill out.
I felt bad that they’d worried all that time and went on a campaign to rescue me. I felt more than bad about that. I wished I could rewind things so that they didn’t have to worry about me like that. I was so conflicted between feeling selfish for taking off like that but after everything that’d happened I had just hoped the note I’d sent Rose and Cal would be enough and took it for granted that they’d handle things with my friends. I never should’ve assumed that Mia and Beth would sit back and take Rose’s word for everything. Ruby would. Mia and Beth? Nope, as evidenced by the fact that we now had to fly home and that my totally awesome but sassy and tenacious friend Mia had demanded that my husband produce me by a certain deadline.
Somewhere down the road, when all this was behind us, I might look back and laugh that my
badass Dominator got bossed around by one of my besties. I wasn’t ready for laughter yet, though. He certainly wasn’t.
Dex and Nino’s twin brother Tino (who was identical to Nino but not bald, not bearded, and not the biker type, more the burly Men-in-Black suit / goon type) had picked us up at the airport with Tommy’s BMW convertible and then they left together and followed us back. Tommy and I drove to the house and got settled in a guest room that Sarah had directed us to. Tino and Dex were on duty outside. Tommy had said that they’d hired a few guys back from before plus were using a few of Zack’s guys because security would be important for now, while everything got analyzed for risk mitigation.
It seemed that no one was home but Sarah, who lived here with Tess, her boys, & Lisa. She’d greeted us enthusiastically, grilling me to ask how soon we were gonna have babies. While she was doing that Tommy kissed me goodbye and he left me there with her in the kitchen while he went to meet Dario at the office. It was the first time I was without Tommy other than my brief stint at the fruit market since before we left, the day he’d gotten my name tattooed on his chest.
I was pleased about getting a minute apart from him but I wasn’t pleased about being left for an inquisition. Sarah and I hung out drinking sugarless coffee, which she was very proud to gloat about, the fact that she’d gotten me off my 3-sugar coffee habit, and we chatted for a while until I went upstairs to get unpacked and get a shower so I could get ready to go to Luc & Eddy’s for dinner. Bianca and Nino, Dare and Angel, Lisa, Tessa, and Sarah were all coming, too.
As I passed the master bedroom I heard noise so I knocked. I guess Sarah and I hadn’t been here alone after all.
“Lisa?”
She opened the door. Her eyes were bloodshot.
“Oh! You’re here. Sorry I didn’t greet you. Welcome back.”
“What’s the matter!?”
She waved her soggy Kleenex, “I’m just having a moment. I’m gonna skip the dinner thing. Sorry.”
“Oh no! It’ll be fun to have everyone together. You should come.”
“I’m gonna stay in, honest, Tia. It’s not a good day for me today. I’ve had some stuff to deal with and…” she hiccupped and then tried to pull herself together.
I reached for and then squeezed her hand, “I know. Tommy told me. And no worries. I’ll just tell everyone you’re a little under the weather. Blame it on morning sickness. Do you need anything?”
Her chin trembled and she shook her head.
“I won’t tell anyone, don’t worry. You can talk to me if you ever need to.”
“I need to talk to Tess and Luc eventually but Dare wants me to wait. God, what’ll they think of me?”
I nodded, “They’ll be shocked at first, it’ll rock their world. But they love you. I think after the shock wears off you guys’ll work it out. You can talk to me any time, okay? Don’t be afraid to reach out to talk to me. It’s not good to hold it all in.”
“I talked to Dare’s Angel today and I messed up. He asked me to help her and I went over there and started making it about me and then I upset her and she had a panic attack. It was fucked up.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah. I feel awful. I think holding all my stuff in the last two years made it easy but now it doesn’t feel so easy anymore.”
“You are allowed to feel upset, Lisa. Just because you’ve had more time go by doesn’t make what you went through less than what she’s going through. And you’re dealing with the loss of your husband. I’m sure she probably understands.”
She nodded.
“Do you want something to drink or eat? I can make something for you before I get my shower?”