My jaw clenched at him calling her that.
“Nino’ll take you out back.”
Tia
“Are you sure you wanna see him? I think he’s tweaking from withdrawals or something.” We were walking upstairs from the basement together.
“I’m sure. What did he say, though?”
“I’ll fill you in later. I’ll bring you in and then you can be alone with him?” He posed it like a question.
“Can you stay?”
“You want me to stay, I’ll stay.”
I nodded, “Wait. If I say things that don’t sound positive, about how I felt in the beginning with us…”
He shook his head, “It’s okay. I won’t be offended. But I don’t have to be there if you don’t want me to be.”
I didn’t want him to think I was hiding anything, that I had any ulterior motives so I did want him there. He’d come into the games room, looking a bit frustrated. I’d stood when he walked in and he waited in the doorway and opened his arms and I went right to him and let him hold me for a minute. I wanted his support in that room, too.
We walked into the office and there sat my Dad, wearing his work clothes, a blue work jumpsuit with his name embroidered at the breast pocket. He was looking shaky. All the things I’d wanted to ask or say or scream and now here he was, looking pathetically at me with regret in his eyes. It looked fake.
Tommy shut the door behind himself and motioned for me to sit behind his desk. Dad sat in front of his desk in one of the three chairs sitting there facing the desk. Tommy sat on top of the conference table behind him, looking casually out the window.
“Sweetpea,” Dad said to me, about to stand.
I raised my hand to halt him and sat in Tommy’s chair.
“You look good,” he said softly, “So grown up. Remind me so much of your mother.”
I was dressed up a little. I wasn’t sure why I dressed up for this occasion. I was wearing a white pencil skirt and matching bolero jacket with a pink frilly blouse and a pair of nude heels. I had my hair back in a sleek ponytail with the earrings Tommy had given me in Vegas. I was wearing a necklace that had been my mother’s. It was a pretty with a dainty gold chain with a rose and gold cameo on it. Thankfully the bruise on my throat was now faded mostly and I wasn’t sure it was even noticeable but Dad’s eyes landed on my throat so I guess it was still visible enough. Or maybe he was staring at the chain. I didn’t know.
His eyes trailed down from my throat to my hand and widened at the sight of my engagement ring.
“Nice rock,” he commented and it was said almost in a prideful way, like he was taking credit. It made me feel a little queasy.
“I want some truth from you, Dad.”
He let out a breath, “The truth is that I know I was a lousy father but I’ve always loved you. You’ve always been the apple of my eye. Tom Ferrano set his sights on you and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. You don’t know how it is in this world, Tia; the man had power and reach and there was nothing I could do. Your mother grew up in that world and I know she didn’t want it for you but I just prayed you’d somehow be happy and safe. It looks like you are. I want to be in your life. I feel like I can finally be in your life now that I’m not looking over my shoulder all the time. I tried to stay away to keep you safer. It didn’t work and here we are but maybe it’ll be okay. Maybe now we can move ahead, put all that behind us.”
“You left me to rot in foster homes to protect me?” I was incensed.
“Crenshaws? That big house? That was rotting?” I didn’t like the snark in his voice, like I’d had it so easy.
“You had no way of knowing where I’d end up and I wasn’t there the whole time. Do you know the stories I’ve heard from some of the girls? Some of them that lived in group homes or who got molested or abused by other foster kids, foster dads? You had no way of knowing I’d be okay. You’d go months without checking on me. And as good as they were to me, they took me because you abandoned me. You. You abandoned your daughter after her mother died and social services paid someone else to do your job, to raise me. Everyone tells me I’m very well-adjusted considering what I’ve been through in my life but Dad, you get zero credit for that. Zero fucking credit.”
“I’ve never seen you so angry,” he looked down.
“This? This is nothing! Let’s talk about how you tricked me on my high school graduation day to be your “marker” when you knew, you fucking knew what you were really doing! You basically sold me into slavery, Dad.”
Dad winced. Tommy was still seated on the conference table. He had his arms folded and he was watching me, looking at me with an unreadable expression.
“I was sold like a piece of chattel,” I continued, rage propelling my words, “I was treated like a piece of property to be pawned off. And then when I escaped because it was fucking unbearable,” I glanced at Tommy but he made no moves, his expression didn’t change, “What did you do? Did you help me? Did you? No, you called Tommy and told him where to find me. Do you know what I had endured up to that point? Do you have any idea? Do you even care?”
Dad shook his head, “I had no choice. And you were obviously safer here than down in Mexico. Imagine what might’ve happened to you if I hadn’t told him where you were? If you’d gotten nabbed before he found you, maybe escaped a bit longer he wouldn’t have wanted to rescue you from Mexico. Maybe you should’ve just did what you were told and stayed put.”
“That’s enough,” Tommy spat. My eyes were wide, I was shocked. What kind of twisted logic?