“I grew up in a home where my parents married for love despite the fact that my father did not live a Christian life as my mother did, and although he claimed devotion to her, their differing beliefs pulled them apart until he finally...”
He couldn’t speak the words. He closed his eyes. The warm kitchen transformed into a frigid cabin and suddenly Nathaniel was 15 again, staring out the door as huge flakes of snow fell in clumps to the ground. The shadowed figure of his father grew smaller and smaller while his mother’s wailing cries filled the cold, lonely house.
He shook his head free of the wrenching memory. “I know what unity means, for I lived through the lack of it. I promised myself that I would never marry a woman that did not hold to the same powerful beliefs. And for the sake of my future marriage and my unborn children I will keep that promise.”
Thomas’s expression softened. Stepping near, he rested a hand on Nathaniel’s shoulder. “Kitty’s devotion to Christ is unwavering. As is yours. You would have nothing to fear on that account.”
“Do you not know me, Thomas?” Nathaniel stepped back. “My devotion to Christ is as powerful as my devotion to the cause of freedom. I cannot—will not—align myself to a woman who does not believe the same.”
Thomas’s mouth stretched into a small smile. “She can change, Nathaniel.”
“Aye.” His heart groaned. “But will she? I cannot hazard such a great risk.”
Nodding, as if he finally understood the fears that rested between Nathaniel and his heart, Thomas peered through knowing eyes, speaking the agonizing certainties Nathaniel had been loath to accept.
“Then, my friend, I fear your heart will pain you with either decision you make.”
In truth, it already had.
Chapter Twenty-three
The quiet tap of shoes somewhere against the floor reverberated in the room, stirring Kitty from sleep. Eyes closed, she inhaled slowly, bracing for the anticipated pain. When she took a deeper breath and the nausea she expected never assailed, she opened her eyes and gazed at the wooden beams above her. Moving her head against the pillow she tested her fingers and toes before stretching her arms and legs. No longer did her muscles groan or her joints protest movement. Another moment passed and ‘twas only then she realized that instead of chilled, the room felt hot. She pressed a hand to her head and felt the beads of sweat that dotted her skin. Knowing well what such moisture meant, she moved her hands together and silently prayed, hoping the simple words carried with them all the depth of meaning she felt unworthy to express. Lord, I thank thee for healing me.
A sweet scented breeze flirted with the thin curtain at the open window as Kitty tucked strands of hair around her ear. The light beamed into the room with such ferocity she guessed it must be only a few hours before sundown, for that was when the sun rested just inches above her window ledge as it did now.
Glancing ‘round the room, evidences of a caregiver met her eyes. A chair beside the bed, a bowl of water, a dampened cloth and a tray of bread rested on the bedside table. Once more she dusted her fingers ov
er her hair and squinted her tired eyes to make out the hands of the clock on the far dresser. How long had she been ill?
A shuffle near the hall caught her attention. She glanced toward the open door and her heart stalled.
Nathaniel’s tall frame consumed the empty doorway. He stopped and stared at her with bright eyes. The sound of his deep voice brushed over her, more welcome than the breeze from the window. “You’re awake.”
The sight of him made Kitty’s heart begin a quicker, lighter rhythm. She swallowed and nodded, unable to produce sound. No matter how the tell-tale flutterings consumed her middle, no matter how her soul yearned for his nearness, she carefully folded the powerful longing and tucked it deep beneath the need to protect.
Nathaniel neared, his eyes combing over her with a tenderness that twined her yearning soul like fine silk. His freshly shaven face and the scent of soap met her senses and she touched her tangled hair, then pulled at the sheet to cover her unsightly nightdress.
She offered a tight grin and struggled to untie her gaze from his, but failed for the desire for him grew with every swell of her chest. He took the seat beside her bed, far too close for Kitty’s satisfaction. For the nearer he got, the more the buried emotions pounded for liberation from behind the locked doors of her heart.
Nathaniel leaned back in his chair with a sigh, running his hands down the tops of his thighs. “I should have you punished for the scare you put us through.” The humor in his words didn’t match the touching warmth in his eyes. “I forbid you to ever become that ill again.”
Kitty swallowed. “I shall do my best.”
A smile split his face. “Good.” He reached for the damp cloth and touched it against her head, his tone growing slightly serious. “Your fever has broken, I see.” Moving the cloth along her face and dotting it against her collarbone, his gaze darted around her face as if seeing her for the first time.
Gripping the fabric in her hands, Kitty battled the flight of her pulse and the heat rising to her cheeks. The way he stared, the way he touched her made her almost believe, nay desire, that he saw deep within, past the secrets and beyond the politics that separated them, to the woman within.
The folly of such a desire smacked of foolishness. Once he knew the truth of what she’d done, that she had been the cause of his attack, he would never speak to her again, let alone...
Instead of responding to his comment, she sighed, frowning at the wound above his eye, her spirit cowering at the horrid memory. “You seem to have recovered well.” Rolling her head against the pillow, she looked away, her throat thickening. “I’m so sorry for what happened to you.” After a deep breath she looked back at him and tried not to be lost in the fields of caring that rested in his eyes. She offered a small grin. “If my father had been here he would have known perfectly what to do.” He had always known what to do.
Nathaniel touched the stiches on his brow and tilted his head with a sly lift of his mouth. “Your stitching skills are fair enough.”
“Is that all?” She warmed at his jest and a smile bloomed both outwardly as well as within.
He shrugged and struggled to contain a grin that matched her own. “I might concede they are a mite better than fair.” Nathaniel lowered his eyes before peeking up at her again, this time all teasing had gone from his expression as well as his voice. “You miss your father.”
Kitty looked away, abruptly consumed by a loneliness she hadn’t realized had been draping her since the moment she fell ill. She closed her eyes while faint memories from times past whisked inside her. Father’s gentle touch, his warm voice and soft smiles rested on her like rays of sunshine.