Staring at her blankly, Emily didn’t know how to say it out loud again. The last time she told anyone, they might as well have laughed in her face. She had been so humiliated by it that she left before she’d finished reporting it. Every time she thought about it, she felt sick to her stomach. Having to relive that night; the worst night of her life was not something she wanted to do. But this officer, Officer Danielle Rivera, she seemed nice. Like she would understand all of Emily’s fears, and so she began telling her about the worst night of her life.
How she knew she was being watched but thought nothing of it. How even though her door wasn’t locked, she still went in and looked around her house. How when she discovered someone had been in her room, she didn’t run or scream or any of the things a normal person would do; she fainted. How just before she lost complete consciousness, her stalker laughed and came all over her face and chest and whispered in her ear that one day she would be his and she’d be sucking the cum from his dick. Or how he smeared it all over her face, neck, and mouth. Just thinking about it had bile rising up her esophagus. Officer Rivera must have known what the look on her face meant because she handed Emily a basket just as she emptied the contents of her stomach into it.
Accepting the tissue from her, Emily sat up and wiped her mouth before excusing herself to the ladies’ room. Walking there on wooden legs and distracted, she ran into someone on the way. Mumbling an apology without even looking at them, she rushed into the washroom that was just ahead, slamming the door shut behind her and sinking down to the floor.
Emily put her head on her bent knees and took a few deep breaths. She knew she was doing the right thing by being here, by hiring the guys, but damn was it hard to have to dredge up all of the horrible things from her past. Why couldn’t they ask me about the
time I was a fairy in my ballet when I was six? Or the time I broke my finger after stupid little Tommy Holmes called me a troll and I punched him in the face? The good times. Why does everyone always want to rip apart the bad things in a person’s life?
Shaking off her melancholy and depressing thoughts, Emily got up and splashed some cold water on her face before rinsing her mouth out. Making her way slowly back into the squad room, she noticed Dane and Coop talking to Officer Rivera. Great, now you come in. Thanks, guys, she thought before pasting a fake smile on and interrupting their little tête-à-tête.
Clearing her throat, she got their attention. With a smile, Danielle asked her, “Are you ready to finish?” Looking between Dane and Coop, Emily nodded her head but told her, “Somewhere private, please. It’s not something I wish to rehash in front of anyone else.” She wasn’t trying to be bitchy about it, but reliving her nightmare was hard enough, having to relive it in front of two men she was attracted to? Uh-uh, no way, no how, she thought.
Standing with her back straight, chin up, and arms crossed, she hoped she was projecting the air of confidence she wanted rather than looking like the scared little girl she was. At Danielle’s nod, she let out a relieved breath and followed her to an interview room.
Unable to meet their eyes, Emily scurried past without a word.
Sitting down at the table, Emily waited. “Would you like a drink, Miss Baxter?” Danielle asked her.
“No, thank you. I just want to get this over with as fast as possible, please,” She responded with her voicing shaking slightly, giving away her nerves.
Nodding her head, Danielle told her to start where she was comfortable.
Taking a deep breath to fortify her nerves, Emily began explaining about all the incidents; how after she found out about him, she stayed in Lincoln with the hopes that the police would investigate and find him. “I stayed for six months… six months of terrifying nights. I had the cold sweats and shakes, and I didn’t leave the house because I was afraid he would take me. I moved in with my mom thinking I’d be safe. They did nothing, not a fucking thing. They thought it was an ex-boyfriend, no matter how many times I insisted the only ex I had was back in my hometown and it wasn’t some grand love. We had sex one time, it was horrible and trust me he was not dying to get me back. He left me because he said it was just that horrible. So no, before you ask, there is no ex of any consequence,” Emily said angrily.
“Ok, hun. What happened to make you leave?”
Thinking about it had her shivering in fear again. “He broke into my mom’s house one day, set up video cameras and tape recorders everywhere. If it weren’t for an electrical fire, we never would have known. He crossed wires and the fire department found it and questioned us; we were baffled. I didn’t know what to do. We called the police, filed a report, but the same bitter, old man had my case and still didn’t believe me. He even told me once that in this day and age, I didn’t have to be ashamed of enjoying the kinkier things in life. That’s what he thought it was, me being kinky.” Like fuck, she thought bitterly.
Looking around the room to try and calm herself down, Emily thought about how cold and sterile it looked. How she wished they’d stayed in the squad room now; she felt trapped in here. Like if she stayed, she was never going to leave. The walls were gray, the floors were cement, and even the table and two chairs were steel.
Rushing through the rest of the things that happened and explaining the police reaction each time, she could see Danielle getting more and more pissed off at how things had been handled previously.
The first time he found her, she knew it was her own fault because she hadn’t hidden her tracks well enough. She had been in Indiana for about two months when he showed up, leaving flowers and a few recent pictures on her doorstep. She reported it and left. Didn’t stick around long enough to pack her things, let alone answer any follow-up questions from the police. She left, plain and simple. Running was her new way of life from that moment on.
The second time he found her was almost five months later. She had learned from her mistake, covered her tracks, and only used cash. Even going to the extremes of dyeing and cutting her hair, changing her clothes, anything she could think of. She didn’t think she’d made a slip. She went to a big city hoping to blend in. To this day, Emily still didn’t know how he found her and probably never would. She woke up one night to a burning in her thigh. Confused and tired, she sat up only to see him sitting on her bed with blood dripping off his knife. This time, she screamed the whole neighborhood down. It was pure luck that one of her neighbors was walking his dog and came running as soon as he heard her. That night was far more terrifying than any of the other times he found her. She ended up with thirteen stitches on the inside of her thigh and had the scar to show for it. After making another police report, Emily thought for sure that they would investigate this time, and they did to an extent. They tried to help her but with little evidence, they were stuck while she was terrified to close her eyes. She even had to sleep with the light on now.
A couple of days later, she received a note from him in her mailbox saying:
You taste like the freshest ambrosia,
You smell like the wildest of flowers,
Soon I will have you,
Until next time, love.
After getting that, she left. Gone. In the middle of the night. She had moved to Los Angeles hoping that she would be able to hide. It wasn’t long before she felt like she was being watched. At first, she thought it was just her being off balance. Paranoid. Until she started feeling like she had eyes on her in her apartment, which would have been impossible because she had dark black-out curtains and always left them closed. Not to mention that she was on the third floor. There was no way for anyone to see inside her apartment.
Not having anything to go to the police with this time, she packed her belongings and left. Tired of running. She only got three months in LA, and now here she was ready to give up in Austin. Running wore a person down. Made them leery of everyone and everything. The smallest noises had her jumping. When people watched her she always wondered, is that him? When, when, when? It was always in the forefront of her mind.
But now she felt like it was time. Time for him to disappear, or her to be caught.
One way or another, Emily wanted this to be over.
No more running.
No more cowering.