“Alright.” I reluctantly agree but am rewarded with a stunning smile as she looks up to me. I tighten my grip on her fingers, though. If I’m going to suffer through sharing her attention, I’m damn well going to do it with her hand in mine.
“Interesting,” Nico mumbles as we walk back through the door. I shoot him a glare, and he turns away, not doing a very good job at masking his amusement.
Marina, tugging on my hand to either get free or to follow her, I’m not sure which, has me ignoring my friend and following along anyways. She leads me into the backyard. The noise level is nearly deafening again.
Spotting an empty lounge chair, I guide her to it. Sitting against the back, I pull her down between my legs. She’s stiff, at first, but relaxes when one of Nico’s twins, Willow, I believe, comes over to us.
“Talon thinks you’re pretty.” She giggles, brushing her fingers through Marina’s glossy hair.
“Well, thank you.” Her soft voice is filled with awe and something else.
“Momma says you have pretty eyes, too.” Willow’s fingers trace Marina’s face. “But they’re too sad.” I sit up straight at that; my eyes glued to her expressions as Willow talks. “Daddy says you need a man. Momma tells him to be quiet.” She leans in to whisper. “Only she uses the not nice voice.”
Marina’s laughter is forced as she says, “Your Momma is right.”
“So, you’re not sad?” The little girls head tilts curiously.
Before Marina can answer, Sophie calls to her. She waves her over to a group of women that are all staring and smiling at us.
I let her go reluctantly. Whatever it is Willow saw in her face has clearly gotten under her skin. I can wait for more. We have forever.
Marina
I don’t know what I’m doing. Why I’m here. Why I stayed. I don’t know anything.
It physically hurts my heart to see so many kids loved so thoroughly. To see so many happy couples sneaking light kisses, holding hands, stealing looks full of love.
Why are you here, Ari?
I shouldn’t have come. When Willow asked me if I was sad, I almost cried because, yes, I am terribly sad. I don’t think I’ve entirely processed my loss. It’s only been a year, and yet, it feels like a lifetime.
I just don’t understand life sometimes, I guess. I had everything going for me, and now, there’s this black hole waiting at the edge of a cliff in my heart. It hurts to breathe through the pain.
I can feel Arsen’s eyes on me during the rest of the party. When Nico and two other men drag him away, relief and disappointment wash through me, equally. The attraction I feel for him isn’t something I’ve encountered before. It’s new, fresh, exciting. Sophie told me she thinks I should go for it. That he’s an incredible man.
She’s been privy to all my fears, my unreasonable thinking. She confessed to me that it was why she had Talon ask me to come tonight, knowing it would be difficult to say no to the sweet boy. She was right. It was hard. Harder still at the hope in his eyes when he asked.
Talon and a few of his classmates have been the sweetest this evening, acting like cute, little servers carrying trays of food around the party. Holding out chairs for their moms.
I’ve never seen so much love in one evening.
I’ve never felt so much envy burn inside me.
“Hey, Sophie, I’m going to get going now. I have to pack for my visit with my parents next weekend.”
“Oh, sure.” She looks around distractedly. “Thanks for coming, Marina. I know you didn’t want to, but everyone loves you. This celebration is as much for the success you’ve given our kids as it is for them to ring in the summer.”
“I know.” I lean in to hug her. “Thank you for everything. Have a great summer.” I hurry out before she can stop me and convince me to stay longer.
Digging through my purse for my keys, I run into a brick wall of muscle as I step off the porch. “Oh!”
“You owe me dinner,” is rumbled above my head. Arsen’s piercing gaze swallows me whole. I did promise him dinner. I suppose it won’t hurt; I didn’t eat much during the party.
Chapter Three
Arsen
“I’ll follow you,” Marina murmurs with a shocked expression on her face at the fact that I’m waiting for her. I’ve watched her for the past two hours, evading me like a rabbit does a fox. Her sorrow every time she was left alone for a moment was palpable. I felt to my soul her desire to experience something she deems unattainable. I don’t know what it is just yet, but I’m hell-bent on finding out.