Smiling softly, I love that he’s worried about me. “Scared,” I reply.
Just as I hear the door open, he says, “Promise me,” he licks his dry lips, “you won’t cut.”
I hear Landon and Dad’s sharp inhales at his words.
With my secret revealed, I feel like it’s going to be harder to keep this promise. “I’ll try.”
His hand grips mine tightly, and I know he’s dying to smooth his fingers through my hair and grip it like he has on so many other occasions. “Promise me, cupcake.” His voice is weak but threaded with steel.
I know there’ll be hell to pay if I don’t. “I promise,” I respond, hoping like hell I haven’t just lied to him.
“We have to go now, Ash,” Landon says softly.
Declan’s eyes finally land on them, hardening. “Take care of her,” he mumbles to Landon, falling back to sleep as soon as my brother nods his agreement. His waking up at all is a miracle the doctors inform us as we leave. He shouldn’t be conscious for hours again.
Foolishly, I hope it’s a sign that he’ll be fine…We’ll be fine.
“Cut?” Dad asks. “What don’t we know?” He sounds horrified.
“Not here,” I plead.
Neither says anything as we walk out the door, leaving my soul in that cold, sterile room. I don’t know what I’ll do if something happens to him. If he leaves me, I’ll never recover.
Chapter Nine
Declan
I’d like to kill that son of a bitch. Not for the pain I’m in—doctors have ridiculously good drugs for that—but for the fear I saw and heard in Ash’s voice when she came in after surgery last night. They said I wouldn’t remember much about the before or after because of the trauma itself, as well as the sedatives used for the operation.
I remember all right. She was nearly broken. The tears and anxiety mixed with uncertainty and pain made me make her promise something I don’t think she’s strong enough to keep. I saw Landon and her dad enter the room. That was partially why I said it when I did. They need to know exactly how close to the precipice she’s gone. That she is in danger of herself.
I doubt she’ll answer them any more than she feels necessary, same as I doubt they’ll understand where her mind is at. It’s why she needs me. Hell, I admit I most likely need her more. She brings a light to my life I had no idea was missing. It’s been a rollercoaster ride of emotions and conflict in such a short time span, but I’m confident she’s it for me. I will fight her to my dying breath to make sure she heals. That she’s happy and content. Anything. I’ll do it for her, no questions asked.
“Good morning, Mr. Hart.” A pleasant older nurse greets me as she walks in the sterile room.
“Morning,” I croak. My throat is dry from lack of use and medications.
Grabbing a cup filled with water and ice, she brings the straw to my lips. “Here we are. Slow sips,” she instructs.
It’s not long before she’s doing her routine care. Checking my vitals, changing my bandages, pumping me full of more painkillers and antibiotics.
“Can we tone down the pain meds soon?” I hate the grogginess that comes when I take them. I don’t like being any less than one hundred percent in control of my functions. These stop that.
“You had surgery to put your tibia back inside your body, you understand that, right?” Her sarcasm isn’t missed.
“What’s your point?” I don’t want to become a dick over this, but I’ll push it.
“You’re going to be in excruciating pain if we lower the dosage.”
“Okay.”
Before she can retort, the door opens and in walks my girl. “Fuck, are you a sight for sore eyes.” A blush creeps up her face as she looks at the nurse who’s chuckling. “Am I interrupting?”
“No, dear. In fact, maybe you can help me. Mr. Hart seems to think he can lower his pain meds already. He doesn’t understand the amount of agony he will be in.”
“Oh, no.” Ash looks at me, my hard expression doesn’t change. “I can’t see you in pain, Declan.” Tears well in her eyes.
“Motherfucker,” I grumble. The nurse laughs as she leaves, knowing she won this round.