I slowly finished dressing and found it in myself to get the hell out of that room before I somehow rationalized not showing my face to my father. Funny enough though, bailing wasn’t even an option. I had to let him know directly that Tameka was going to be my wife now and he could either get with it or not be in my life.
I needed to hear his decision, though deep down, I knew he had picked a side long ago by every dodge and awkward avoidable silence between us. I still needed him to tell me to my face.
While I was getting ready for my encounter with my dad, Tameka was at work, and I was a bit relieved. I didn’t want her to see me this jumpy, while on the other hand, she was the only one who could ease my nerves. I rushed out the door, jumped into my truck, and sped to the other side of the train tracks. I was ready to get this over with.
As I pulled into the driveway of my old childhood home, memories flooded in. I remembered my dad’s meetings with the brotherhood and how me and Channing would sneak over to eavesdrop. We were so mesmerized by the weekly gatherings. Always present was my father, uncle, and a crowd of businessowners and trade workers from the old neighborhood with a handful of big wigs sprinkled in. Channing and I used to mimic them, fantasizing about the day when we would be leading the meetings. I shook my head at the thought as I sat in the car and fidgeted with my keys. I saw one of the curtains move and realized my dad had been made aware of my arrival.
Shit, I thought. Now, I had to put some pep in my step. I maneuvered out of the car and slammed the door shut as my father’s silhouette approached the doorway.
“Son,” he greeted me quite distantly as I approached the same old wooden porch I used to play on.
“Hey, Dad!” I tried to sound as if I was happy to see him. As much as I dreaded this pending moment, I knew that this conversation needed to happen.
He gave me a stiff head nod, fully committed to his bleak stance against welcoming me back home. I waited for him to embrace me, but he didn’t budge. I reached my hand out to shake his, but he kept both of his old, frail hands right inside his pocket as he looked me up and down the way he would examine a horse he was considering purchasing.
“So, what do I owe this visit to? Are you here to tell me that you finally dropped that monkey and got yourself a real woman?”
I hadn’t been there five minutes, and I could already feel my heart start to race and my hands ball into tight fists.
“Don’t EVER call her an animal. She’s the love of my life,” I said sternly so that he knew I wasn’t here for the derogatory name calling.
My Dear Old Dad squinted his eyes and glared at me as if I had somehow went out of my way to betray him.
“That nigger ain’t the love of your life. You need real help, Son.”
I leaped to within an inch or so from his face so that I was looking him directly in his eyes. I tried desperately to ignore the fact that I looked exactly like him. I was so close I could smell the coffee he drank this morning on his breath. I began making real deliberate attempts at trying to calm myself down from doing the worst. I didn’t want to hit my father, but disrespecting Tameka would be the button to push to make that happen.
“Pay attention, and I want to make this really clear as this won’t be up for debate or discussion,” I said damn near through my teeth. I could feel the vein in my forehead pumping quickly. “I asked for Tameka’s hand in marriage, and she said yes. This is the happiest I have ever been in life, Dad. She’s going to be my wife, and you’re going to have to fucking deal with it or stay out of our lives!”
“Your wife? Son, have you lost your damn mind?” He backed up from my face and began to pace the porch, making a creaking sound with every other step. “You ain’t goin’ ta’ be parading around this town that your ancestors built with no...with no colored girl. I’ll tell you that right now.”
I couldn’t take it anymore, but just as my fist began rising up, my cousin, Channing, rushed out the front door and grabbed it just in enough time.
“Easy, easy, Jeb…he’s an old man,” I could hear Channing say, but my mind was focused on the face of the man who took me to baseball games, showed me how to climb trees, and also tried to brainwash me into thinking we were superior to black people. “It’s not worth it,” Channing said.
I started to back up all while keeping my gaze on my father. The old man was ready to take the hit and wouldn’t back down just because I wanted to stray from our bigoted family traditions.
“She’s going to be my wife, and we’re going to have little brown children with your last name and your blood running through their veins. Your name and your blood!” I screamed and then backed away toward my car.
“Over my dead body,” I heard my father yell just before I closed my door.
I sped off, leaving Channing and my father on the porch. Channing’s worry lines were visible even as I drove away. My father, on the other hand, seemed to have no problem watching me, his only son, drive out of his life, forever.
Chapter 1
Tameka
I was so glad to be home from work. The day was long and drawn out, and it couldn’t have ended any quicker. Jeb was in the kitchen cooking a delicious-smelling dinner while the kids
were away at Kemara’s for the night. He said he had a huge surprise for us, and my mind raced at the possibilities. I was nervous just watching him squirm. I observed him fidget with the knife and fumble the veggies until I couldn’t take it anymore. His hands were so shaky and his body so restless that I had to intervene and assist my poor, antsy, but still so cute, man. I didn’t know what the hell was wrong, but it was starting to make me fret for him.
I motioned for him to scoot over and hand me the knife, but he quickly rejected my gesture to help by turning me away and leading me back into the living room, where I sat on the couch in self defeat. I waited for him to call my name the way he did to tell me dinner was ready. Every time I called out from the living room to ask him if he was okay, he just shrugged me off with a swift, “Everything’s good!”
Nevertheless, the food was beginning to smell delightful. Its scent wafted from the kitchen and into the living room where it easily tempted my nose and other senses with the savory smells that Jeb conjured up in the kitchen. Who knew he would be such a genius with food? That was an added bonus of him being my fiancé.
Jeb catered to me like no other man had ever done. One year together and I still couldn’t believe how I lucked up. And to think, I almost dissed him. Well, I definitely dissed him, but to think this never would have been if I hadn’t opened my heart up to him. If he hadn’t showed me it was safe to love again. It had been tough to open my heart, but definitely worth it.
“Babyyy!” Jeb yelled out from the kitchen. “Come eaaaat!”