“Justine, we talked about this just this morning.”
“I know what we talked about, but you’re all I have. I can’t handle losing you. If you don't want me, I have no reason to live," she said.
Justine removed a bottle of pills from her pocket. She opened it and began pouring the contents down her throat.
"Justine, don’t swallow those pills," I said rushing to put my hand out in front of her mouth. "Spit them out now.”
Her eyes were defiant. She shook her head vigorously, and a pained look entered her eyes as tears flowed down her cheeks.
“I'm here for you, Justine. You have to know that I'm not ever leaving your side. Now, spit those pills out," I said for the sake of her life.
"But you have left my side," Justine cried as she spat the pills onto the floor. Her voice went from calm to yelling within seconds.
“I’ll always be your friend. We just can’t be more than that.” I didn’t know what else I could do to help her. I wasn’t going to lead her on by telling her what she wanted to hear, though.
"No, because you've been fucking around with Destiny since you went to Atlanta last month. That’s why you’re not into me anymore. I went through your phone and read the sweet messages you send to her. You never sent things like that to me. She's the reason you think you want to leave me. She’s taking you away!”
“I’m not taking anything,” Destiny said.
“Ouuhh! Don’t talk to me at all,” Justine screamed at Destiny. “He’s just fulfilling a fantasy with you.”
“Stop that, Justine. The way I feel about Destiny is deeper than anything you’ll understand,” I admitted.
“Oh, I understand that she means enough for you to flaunt her around Miami. In Miami, Jacob, really?" Justine started wailing like a baby. Her shoulders shook violently as she sobbed and made a scene. People who were once whisking by us had stopped and stared to make sure the irate woman was okay. One older lady pulled out her cell phone and was pointing at her. Security would be in my business in no time.
I felt a swift kick in the gut when I looked around and Destiny was gone. I grabbed Justine’s arm and pulled her toward the exit.
“If you make me lose her with your outbursts, you will regret it,” I warned.
“Are you threatening me, Jacob?” she asked and touched my hand covering her arm.
“It’s a promise that you won’t like the results of pushing that woman out of my life. Now, for the final time, it’s over between us.” I moved her hand and stormed toward the drop-off zone. After this stunt, a clean break from Justine was necessary.
CHAPTER NINE
DESTINY
Breathe Again
The tick-tock sound of the clock on the wall got on my last nerve. I had yet to replace the clock with one that made less noise. The aggravating sound kept me company at night. My little rug rats had abandoned me to spend the weekend with a family friend who had kids their age, so I was all alone. According to the clock, it was three in the morning. I couldn’t sleep. I just kept remembering seeing Jacob console Justine at the airport.
She showed up looking even more beautiful than when I caught them making out at the lounge. Standing there in a peach Sunday dress and black and peach stiletto heels, she had a look of victory on her face when Jacob told her, "I'm here for you, Justine. You have to know that I'm not ever leaving your side…"
He had searched my eyes for understanding when he said it. I understood that he was attempting to get her to lower the pill bottle. He appeared torn as he looked from me to Justine, so I looked away, allowing him to make his choice without interference. He said what he felt necessary to calm Justine down, but the possibility of him never leaving her side cut like a knife. Was he also discarding the love we made just hours before? Our passion seemed so real, and he was willing to wipe it away with his dedication to Justine.
"I'm…Never…Leaving…Your…Side." I thought about the way I felt, when I slowly walked onto my plane with those words repeating in my mind. I felt weak.
"Jacob," I had said, just above a murmur. "Jacob, how could you stand here and chose her, again?"
Mama used to say, ‘Just because a man’s organ is inside of you, doesn’t mean he’s into you,’ and she’s always right. Hot tears flowed down my face as I recounted every second of that weekend that started and ended with rejection. The symptoms of losing Jacob waxed and waned through my soul. He hadn’t called in the past two weeks, and I couldn’t bring myself to dial his number. I meditated and prayed that I could get him, and the dysfunction that came along with him, out of my system, and fast.
As I lay in bed half asleep, half thinking, I heard the faint sound of my name and a knock. I froze still under my mocha colored comforter. It hadn't been the first time I’d awoken to hear what I thought was a knock at the door, or someone calling my name. I figured it was only my mind playing tricks on me.
The clock continued to make the tick-tock, tick-tock noise until I fell into a state of sub-consciousness. Then, the knock happened again. This time, there were three knocks, a pause, and another. I don’t know how, but I could tell by the rhythm of the beat that it was Jacob.
I pulled my tired body from underneath the covers, walked slowly to my bedroom door, and took a suspicious glance down the hallway. Not a single soul had ever come to my door in the middle of the night unexpected. I should have been scared since I had nothing but a knife to protect myself, but I was calm. If Jacob were to be on my doorstep, there would be no way I could protect myself from him. Like a thief in the night, he would steal my heart. The last thing I needed was a temptation as sweet as Jacob was. A midnight visit from him would not be good, and I had to think about my well-being.
Three more knocks, a pause, and another knock brought me out of my room and up the hall. The sound wasn’t a dream, and my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me. I was wide awake.