t I need him to hear me.
“I love you too, Max.” I swallow hard past the lump in my throat as tears prick my eyes. My chest is heaving with the overwhelming sense of love I have for this perfect little boy lying in front of me.
“I know you do.” And just like that, everything in my life clicks into place. Every bad choice I’ve made falls by the wayside because they’ve all led me here. And there isn’t anywhere I’d rather be than in this tent on a cool fall night, where I just bared my heart to a perfect four-year-old boy. I know that Max is not biologically my son, but this love I have for him is all-consuming. It’s…it’s indescribable. I can only hope that someday I will love my own kids as much as I love Max.
When I turn around, I see Harley brushing away the tears that are streaming down her beautiful face. I pull her into my arms, burying my face in the crook of her neck.
“Thank you.” My words are strained with emotion and I tighten my grip on her, using her as an anchor. “Thank you for giving me another chance. Thank you for raising such an amazing little boy. And thank you for letting me be a part of your lives.”
She sobs, her arms squeezing my neck. It’s obvious that this is as emotional for her as it is for me. Without a doubt, this is a turning point for us. Harley and I have come so far, and this feeling of finally having come full circle is one that I never want to go away.
Right now, I need to hold her…I need to absorb what all of this means. So I tuck her in next to me underneath the thick down material of my sleeping bag. Snuggling in close, she nuzzles her head under my chin and wraps an arm around my stomach. We don’t talk because we don’t need to. Instead, we fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms with a snoring Max beside us.
MY PHONE BEEPS AND I pull it out, smiling when I see Harley’s name. This morning was chaotic, to say the least. We forgot to set an alarm for Harley, and by the time Max woke us up, Harley had all of one hour to get herself ready and get to work.
Harley: Made it. Have fun today.
Me: Good. See you tonight. Love u.
“How much longer?” Max asks, bouncing around in the backseat.
“Almost there, kiddo. Sit tight,” I say, glancing at him in the rearview mirror. When I packed him up in the car this morning, I double and triple-checked the booster seat and seat belt, my nerves getting the best of me.
What if something happens? Is he safe? Is the strap too tight…is it too loose? Max finally pushed me away and told me he was fine and to get a move on. So here we are on our way to the City Museum. I wanted to do something fun with him today—something that he would remember—and one of my favorite places to go when I was a kid was the City Museum. It’s a child’s dream playground, full of tunnels, caves, and slides. There’s an aquarium, rooftop Ferris wheel, a railroad, and a skateless park, which happens to be my favorite part. I can’t wait to see Max’s face as he explores it all.
We pull into the parking lot and Max instantly starts rapid-firing questions at me.
“Is that a school bus hanging off the roof? Is it gonna fall? Are there kids in there? Should we call 911?” I laugh, putting the car in park. Reaching back, I unbuckle Max and he squirms in his seat, trying to get a better view of the school bus.
“Nope, no need to call 911, it’s part of the museum. You get to play in that school bus.” His eyes widen with horror.
“But it’s gonna fall off the roof!” he screeches.
“No, it’s not,” I assure him, gripping his hand tightly as we make our way to the entrance. “Trust me, it’s perfectly safe. You’re going to have a blast.”
“TY!” he yells, tugging on my arm as soon as we walk through the front door. “Look at that slide, IT’S HUGE!”
His excitement is infectious and I find myself smiling like a kid when I step forward to pay for our wristbands. “Okay, Max, here are the rules.” His wide eyes are bouncing around the museum as he hops from foot to foot. I snap my fingers and he looks at me, though I can tell there about a million other things he’d rather be looking at. “I have to know where you are at all times, okay?” He nods enthusiastically. “You don’t run off without telling me, and if a stranger tries to grab you, I want you to kick and scream as loud as you can.”
His movements still and he looks at me, shocked. “Is a stranger going to grab me?”
“No, but—”
“Because I don’t want to get stolen!” The look on his face is priceless, and for a split second I feel bad for scaring the little fart.
“If you stay by me and I know where you are, nothing will happen. Got it?”
“Got it. Now can we go ride that slide?” he says, yanking my arm as he runs for the stairs. “Look at that!” he hollers, pointing to the ceiling, where a bunch of kids are climbing in a hanging tunnel. “Do I get to do that too?” he asks hopefully as his little legs plow up the steps.
“Whatever you want, little dude, we have all day.” He looks at me and grins, his face flushed with exhilaration. We finally make it to the top of the slide and he lets out a loud ‘WHOOP’ as he sends himself flying down the three-story slide.
Three hours later I’m exhausted, hungry, and fairly certain that I may have pulled a muscle in my groin. Note to self: I’m no longer a kid. Max, on the other hand, seems to just be getting started. This kid has run, jumped, climbed, ridden, and slid up and down this entire museum a hundred times, and he’s still jumping on his toes, begging for more.
“Let’s get a bite to eat, and then we’ll play some more,” I say, desperate to sit down for a couple of minutes. He reluctantly agrees and we head over to the mezzanine to grab some grub.
“What’s your favorite thing at the museum?” I ask, shoving a bite of pizza into my mouth.
“Ummm…” He taps a finger against his chin and then his excited eyes go soft. “The skatepark. I like the skate park.”