I run my hands over my face roughly, not wanting to relive the embarrassment I felt with Tyson's rejection. "I was elated that he did that. It was intimate and it made my entire body break out in goose bumps. Quinn, it felt amazing." I roll my eyes in exaggerated pleasure, causing her to chuckle. "I haven't felt like that in...I don't know how long. I didn't want it to end so I decided to take it a step further. I cupped his neck in my hands and pulled back a little bit. I wanted him to know that I was open to whatever was happening.
"I totally thought we were on the same page because he pulled back and rested his forehead against mine. It was so sweet and we just stood there, breathing the same air, soaking in the moment, and then..." Good Lord. And then I made a horrible mistake. A low groan rips from my throat and I bury my head in my hands. What the fuck did I do? It's not possible that I misread that whole situation. Right? I mean, realistically, I know that I've been out of the dating loop for quite some time, but come on!
"Then what happened?" Quinn asks.
"Then, apparently I made a huge mistake. I lowered my head—I was trying to go slow because I didn't want to rush the moment—but before I could go any further, he grabbed my wrists. At first I didn't realize what he was doing, but then he said..." I swipe away a tear that falls down my face. "He said 'we can't do this' and I froze, Quinn. He completely shut me down and it was like...it was like I was reliving that horrible night all over again." The tears become too heavy and start spilling over my lashes. I bat them away, looking up to find Quinn watching me. I can see it...she remembers what I went through af
ter he rejected me the first time.
"Harley." Her voice is low and raspy, and she slides out of her side of the booth and into mine. Quinn wraps her arms around my shoulders and holds me as silent sobs rip through my body.
Thank God we are sitting in the back where no one can see us. "Harley," she whispers into my hair. "I can't even imagine how that made you feel, but I want you to look at me." I sniff lightly, but my head remains down. I don't want to look at her. I don't want to feel this way. How could I put myself back in that situation? What was I thinking? "Look at me." At the sharp sound of her voice, I raise my eyes to her.
"Harley, I know it may have seemed bad at the time, and I hate that it took you back to that horrible night, but there has to be a different reason why he pulled away. Did you guys talk afterward? Did you ask him what was wrong?"
"No...no, I didn't." There is no way that I could have talked to him afterward. I was so embarrassed and mad, mainly at myself. Plus, would it have made a difference? Would he have given me an acceptable reason? "I freaked. I dashed through the front door and shut it in his face before he had the chance to say anything."
Now that I say it out loud, I feel sort of bad. Maybe I did overreact. "What do I do, Quinn? Now I feel like an idiot."
"Well, that's because you are," she quips, causing my sob to turn into a laugh. I pull back and Quinn dries my face with the pads of her thumbs. I vow to never take Quinn for granted; I couldn't ask for a better friend.
"I'm just kidding. You know that, right?" I nod once, taking a deep breath. It's time to put on my big-girl panties, pull my head out of my ass, and fix this mess. "But seriously, Harley, you need to talk to him. You need to find out why he stopped you, because I really don't think it's because he doesn't want you."
She's right. I know she is, but that doesn't change the fact that I feel like an idiot and having dinner with him tonight is going to be awkward as hell. "I hope you’re right."
"I am right, you just wait and see. So, does this mean you aren't going to cancel on him?"
"No. I won't cancel on him tonight." That is, unless I change my mind after you drop me off at home.
"Good." We signal for the waitress and pay our bill. The ride to my house only takes about five minutes and as we are pulling into the driveway, my phone chirps. I grab it out of my purse and my stomach, along with my heart, falls.
Tyson: I got called into work, heading there now. Can I get a rain check on dinner?
Me: I understand.
I don't comment on the rain check because, at this point, I'm not really sure how I want to respond.
"What's wrong? You look like someone kicked your puppy." Quinn's voice pulls me out of my thoughts and I turn my tear-streaked face to hers.
"He canceled."
"What?" She rips my phone out of my hand and reads the text. "Harley, he got called in to work."
"I know," I nod.
"Then why are you crying? He has a good reason to cancel."
I shove the heels of my hands into my eyes and groan. "I know! I think I'm getting ready to start my period or something."
"Period," she says, putting her car in reverse and backing out of my driveway. "Girl, with all the tears you've shed, it's more like an exclamation point!"
I shove her shoulder, thankful that she can always make me laugh. "Where are we going?"
She glances in my direction, her eyes full of mischief. "I'm not going to let you sit at home tonight and dwell on what happened. What kind of friend would it make me if I let you do that? I'm taking you to get a mani-pedi, and then we're going to go shopping, buy smokin' hot outfits, and hit up the town!"
My phone vibrates in my hand again and I look down.
Tyson: I'm sorry, Harley.