Was it so bad that she wanted him to keep a few erotic memories of her as well? Rowan certainly didn’t think so.
TEN
‘Well, well, well...look what the cat has dragged in.’
Rowan thought she was still dreaming when she heard the gravelly voice—thought she was having a hallucination from too much sex and too little sleep when she saw Callie sitting at the dining table in the kitchen at Awelfor, blonde hair in a ponytail and her bare feet up on the corner of the table.
Callie?
‘Callie!’ Rowan screamed.
‘Ro!’ Callie shouted back as Rowan bounced forward and flung her arms around her best friend’s neck, nearly toppling her off the chair.
Callie’s arms wrapped around Rowan’s back to return the hug, but when Callie’s hand landed on her bottom Rowan lifted her eyebrows, then her head, and looked into Callie’s green eyes.
‘Are you copping a feel? Because if you are I have to tell you that you’re not my type,’ Rowan said, leaning her butt on the table, where Callie still had her feet.
‘Just checking that you’re wearing panties and haven’t turned into a total slag while you’ve being bonking my brother.’
Callie grinned and Rowan’s heart turned over. She and Seb shared that same smile—why had she never realised that until now?
‘Coffee. I need coffee.’ Rowan hoisted her bum off the table and wandered over to the coffee machine. She stared at it helplessly. ‘Dammit, I hate this thing!’
As Rowan reached for the instant coffee she felt Callie shoulder her aside. ‘Hasn’t His Majesty shown you how it works?’
Rowan shrugged. ‘He normally makes it for me himself; if he’s not here I settle for instant.’
‘It’s not rocket science, BB.’ Callie showed her what to do, and within a minute Rowan had made herself her first cappuccino.
‘Awesome.’ Rowan sipped and headed back for the table, sitting down before she started peppering Callie with questions. ‘Why are you back? What happened to your Yank lover? Your appointments in LA and Vancouver?’
Callie quickly answered and then flipped the attention back to Rowan. Placing her face in her hands, she eyed her. ‘You’re glowing. I’ve never seen you glow.’
‘Good sex.’
‘I have good sex all the time and I never glow.’ Callie’s eyes radiated concern. ‘What are you doing, Ro? Have you thought this through? Has Seb thought this through?’
Rowan sipped her coffee before sighing. ‘I don’t know... I can’t speak for Seb—you know that he doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve. As for me... I went into this thinking it was just about sex, that I could control this...craziness I feel for him.’
‘And can you? Did you? Have you?’
Rowan stared into her cup and wondered what to say. ‘I have to, Cal. I can’t do anything else but control it. I’m leaving. I have to leave.’
‘Why?’
Rowan frowned at her. ‘What?’
‘Why do you have to leave? Who says that’s the rule? You’ve never been swayed by arguments about what one is “supposed” to do. So why do you now have to leave?’
Callie’s verbal punch landed in her stomach. But if there was anyone she could be totally honest with it was Callie. ‘Because staying is far too scary.’
‘Why, sweetie?’
Rowan took a deep breath as her eyes filled with tears. ‘Because I could love him, Cal. Really love him. But I don’t know if I could love him enough to stay, to give up my freedom.’
‘You’ll never know if you don’t try,’ Callie pointed out.
‘I’ll never hurt him, or myself, if I leave before this takes on a life of its own,’ Rowan said. ‘I can leave now, but if this goes any deeper—if I fall in love with him—I’ll be ripped apart when it ends. And it always ends, Cal.’
‘Just don’t leave without explaining to Seb exactly what you’re doing,’ Callie warned her, and Rowan remembered her promise to Seb the night before.
‘I won’t, Cal.’ Rowan ran her finger around the rim of her cup and blew air into her cheeks. ‘So that’s where I am—emotionally, mentally. But I have no idea what Seb is thinking. He’s probably not interested in anything more than what we have.’
‘You guys really should talk more and bonk less,’ Callie grumbled. ‘Where is His Wonderfulness?’
‘Still sleeping.’ Rowan looked self-satisfied. ‘I kind of wiped him out last night.’