Jaci felt her shoulders drop and quickly pulled them up again. She had no reason to feel let down, no reason at all. She wasn’t looking for a relationship, not even a pretend one. She’d been engaged, had talked incessantly about marriage—and what did she get out of that? Humiliation and hurt. Yeah, no thanks.
“As for Leroy’s silence, you know what they say, no news is good news.” Ryan picked up a file from his desk and flipped it open.
“Shouldn’t you call him, say something, do something?” Jaci demanded, and his eyes rose at her vehement statement.
Ryan closed his file and leaned back in his chair. “It’s a game, Jaci, and I’m playing it,” he replied, linking his fingers on his stomach. Then his eyes narrowed. “You don’t like the way I’m playing it?”
“I don’t know the flipping rules!” Jaci snapped back. “And it’s my future that’s at stake, too. I have a lot to lose, but I can’t do anything to move this along.”
Ryan frowned at her outburst. “It’s not the end of the world, Jace. Don’t you and your siblings have a big trust fund that’s at your disposal? It’s not like you’ll be out on the streets if this movie never gets produced. And you’ll write other scripts, have other chances.”
Could she tell him? Did she dare? She’d hinted at how important this was to her before, but maybe if he understood how crucial it really was, he’d understand why this situation was making her stress levels redline. And it wasn’t as if he was a stranger; she had known him for years.
“This script means more to me than just a break into the industry, Ryan. It’s more than that. It’s more than my career or my future...” She saw him frown and wondered how she could explain the turbulent, churning emotions inside. “It’s a symbol, a tipping point, a fork in the road.”
She expected him to tell her to stop being melodramatic, but he just sat calmly and waited for her to continue. “You buying my script and offering me a job to work on Blown Away was—is—more than a career opportunity. It was the catalyst that propelled me into a whole new life.” Jaci gestured to her notes on the desk. “That’s all mine...my effort, my words, my script. This is something I did, without my parents’ knowledge or without them pulling any strings. It’s the divide between who I was before and who I am now. God, I am so not explaining this well.”
“Stop editing yourself and just talk, Jace.”
“On one side of the divide, I was the Brookes-Lyon child who drifted from job to job, who played at writing, maybe to get her mother’s attention. Then I became Clive’s fiancée and an object of press attention and I had to grow a spine, fast. I couldn’t have survived what I did without it. When I left London, I vowed that I wasn’t going to fade into the background again.”
“Yeah, you used to do that as a kid. Your family would take over and dominate a room, a conversation, yet you wouldn’t contribute a thing.” His mouth twitched. “Now you won’t shut up.”
“It’s because I’m different in New York!” Jaci stated, her face animated. “I’m better here. Happier, feistier!”
“I like feisty.” Ryan murmured his agreement in a low voice, heat in the long, hot glance he sent her.
It was so hard to ignore the desire in his voice. But she had to. “I don’t want to go backward, Ry. If I lose this opportunity...”
Ryan frowned at her and leaned forward. “Jaci, what you do is not who you are. You can still be feisty without the job.”
Could she be? She didn’t think so; Sassy Jaci needed to be successful. If she wasn’t then she’d just be acting. She didn’t want to skate through her life anymore. She wanted to live and feel and be this new Jaci. She liked this new Jaci.
Ryan pinned her to the floor with his intense blue-gray stare. “Have a little faith, Jace. It will all work out.”
But what if it didn’t? Who would she be if she couldn’t be New York Jaci? She didn’t know if she could reinvent herself again. She saw Ryan looking over his desk, saw his hand moving toward the folder he’d discarded minutes before and read the silent message. It was time to go back to work, so she started for the door.
Ryan’s phone rang and he lifted his finger to delay her. “Hang on a sec. We still need to talk about the yacht thing tonight.”
Oh, bats, she’d forgotten about that. Jaci stopped next to his desk.