“Hiring you was a mistake,” he said suddenly.
The words hit me like a punch to the stomach. “We can talk about something else. I’m sorry.”
“No,” he said. “I mean it was a mistake because I knew I was attracted to you. I swore I wouldn’t let anything get in the way of my goals, and I knew hiring you was a risk. But I thought I had enough self-control to stop it from mattering. Clearly, I don’t. I can’t stop thinking about you, Jules. You’re on my fucking mind every minute. Every meeting I have. Every email I read. You’re right there, dragging me away from what I need to be focusing on.”
I felt a warm fist clutch around my heart, filling my body with heat. “I don’t know what to say.”
The musician, as if he was trying to make things more awkward, started a slow song. He rasped out romantic lyrics about love in the city and following your underpants—whatever that last part meant.
Adrian met my eyes with enough gravity that I could barely look back. “Tell me how you feel. And if you feel the same way, tell me we could find a way to make it possible without it getting in the way of work.”
“I feel like I’m about to have a heart attack every time I’m around you,” I said. “And I don’t know if that’s because I’m terrified of screwing up or because I think you’re annoyingly hot.”
He grinned. “I don’t date employees.”
“Except…”
“Except this time, I’d be willing to make an exception if my employee wanted me to. And if she agreed the relationship would be entirely separate from work. She could dump my ass and keep her job. And I could fire her ass and keep my relationship. Both would be as separate as they possibly could be.”
“You don’t seriously think that would work, do you?” I asked.
He shook his head. “I don’t know. But if we don’t try, I’m going to have to update the company dress code. Only full body coverings for you. Multiple layers.”
I chewed the corner of my lip. I’d been trying not to fully accept anything he was saying because I honestly wasn’t sure how I felt. I could do better, couldn’t I? I didn’t have to date someone who could be such a relentless hardass just because he was hot. Except this sort of thing never felt like it took logic into account.
If I listened to my heart, I wanted to try. I wanted to let him kiss me and I wanted to live in this moment. This was exactly the reason I’d left New York and sought out a new life, wasn’t it? To find adventure? To make risky decisions?
I’d need to find a way to tell him who I really was, though. It was different if we were dating. I wouldn’t always be able to tell myself it wasn’t his business, and I dreaded figuring out how to cross that bridge.
“I’ll do it, but only if you give me tomorrow off to explore the city,” I said.
Adrian glared. “That’s exactly what I just said this can’t be.”
I flicked his nose. “That was a test. You passed.”
He made a low, sexy noise in his throat and put his hand beside my hip, leaning in close.
“I have taco breath,” I warned.
“You could’ve just finished chewing on garlic and I wouldn’t care. I’ve been waiting to do this all fucking week.”
He planted a kiss on me that made me feel like melting into the top of the van.
The music and sound of people below the van all faded until it was just us. Just Adrian with one hand buried in my hair on the back of my head and mouth on mine. His lips were soft pillows of warmth, and his tongue was a delicious dart of heat as it teased mine. He kissed me tenderly at first, then his hand cupped my cheek and he kissed me deeper. I moaned into his mouth, forgetting we were in public until a few scattered cheers rang out from the crowd of people below the van.
“Check her tonsils while you’re in there!” Somebody yelled from below.
We broke the kiss off, grinning with our foreheads touching.
My heart was pounding and there was a delicious warmth flowing through me that had nothing to do with the warm New Orleans air. I felt alive. Really alive. Maybe for the first time in my life. It almost broke my heart to feel how happy I was, because in that explosive moment I thought I could see I’d never really been happy before. Not like this. I’d nearly lived my whole life sheltered from this kind of feeling, and I would’ve never known what I was missing.
“You know,” I said. “I’m going to be a little sad if this means you’re going to be nice from now on. The grumpy thing was sorta hot.”