“This feels like less of a good idea now that we’re doing it,” Jules said.
“The really good ideas never feel like they are guaranteed to succeed. If you’re worried your life is about to fall apart, it probably means you’re considering doing something worth doing.”
Jules stared at me in disbelief. “That’s completely backwards. You can’t live your life with that sort of outlook.”
I spread my palms. “Can and do.”
She rolled her eyes but continued fast-walking to keep up with me. She was still wearing a simple pair of leggings and an “I Like Cats And The Feeling Is Mutual” shirt. Somehow, she made the messy look sexy. That was also exactly the sort of thing I needed to not be thinking. It was precisely this kind of situation where I needed to be completely on my game. I couldn’t afford distractions like my assistant and her messy hair or tight ass in those form fitting leggings.
I tried to put it from my mind, focusing instead on how I’d spin this to Krause to make a good impression and not simply look like a lunatic. But after a few moments I found my mind wandering to how much I enjoyed having Jules around. If I ignored her tendency to completely disregard seniority and any kind of respect for authority, she was far more capable than any assistant I’d ever had.
She never needed to be told how to do something twice. If I asked for my dry cleaning to be picked up every day and brought to the office by seven, she did it. She might give me dirty looks or find some other way to harass me in the process, but it always got done. She also managed to go above and beyond. She seemed to have charmed the dry cleaner, who was now willing to turn around my drop offs even more quickly for her sake. She’d also dramatically reduced the number of author complaints in her short time working for me with her strong communication skills.
Frankly, she was perfect. At least, she would’ve been if she had a cock instead of the face of an angel, two distractingly perky tits, and an ass I couldn’t get out of my brain. The woman was practically hand-crafted to derail my thoughts at every moment. If she’d just been shit at the job my choice would’ve been a hell of a lot easier. I could’ve fired her for any bullshit reason I chose. But Jules Adams did her damn job so well that I didn’t want to lose her as a personal assistant.
I had to buy two tickets to get me and Jules deep enough into the airport to find Krause. We also had to take off our shoes for the TSA. We didn’t have any luggage except Jules’ laptop, so I expected to breeze through security.
We were watching a TSA agent inspect Jules’ laptop when I checked my watch and let out an annoyed sound.
“What’s up your butt?” Jules asked. “His flight doesn’t leave for like half an hour. We’ll be fine.”
The woman looked up as soon as Jules said, “what’s up your butt”.
I stared at the TSA woman, my eyes going wider when I realized what was about to happen. She carefully set down the laptop and moved closer. She was a large woman who looked like she could single handedly put down a prison revolt, and she was glaring at me like I’d just said as much to her face. “Is there something inside your anus, sir?”
I couldn’t believe this.
“It’s a figure of speech,” I said dryly.
“Sir,” she said. “If you’re trying to smuggle something into my airport inside your rectum, it’s going to be a very bad day for you. And your rectum.”
I blinked, then looked at Jules, who appeared to be trying to decide between dying of laughter or collapsing in a ball of horror at what she’d initiated.
“You need to go to Krause and show him the presentation,” I said.
“Wait, what?” she asked.
The TSA woman took me by the arm. “Come on, pretty boy. I’m going to hand you off to Bill over there and he’s going to make sure you’re not hiding anything under that fancy suit. Or between-”
I held up my hand. “I guarantee you that Bill will not be coming anywhere near my ass. That’s a promise.”
Jules was holding her laptop with a hopeless look on her face. “You seriously expect me to do this by myself?”
The TSA lady was urging me toward a little private room in the back. “Figure it out. I’m not sure how long this will take. Don’t fuck it up, or you’re fired. I hope that went without saying, but just in case.”
She went white. “But-”
“Figure it out,” I repeated, then I was taken toward a skinny kid who didn’t look much older than twenty. I was absolutely going to bribe my way out of this once that door closed. He wasn’t so much as going to take off my tie.