“Kill them both,” Maury said.
Okay. That didn’t go the way I hoped.
The man on the plank reached for Tula.
Zac froze, unsure of what to do. There was no way to catch her or prevent her from falling into the flames.
“Well, hello, pussycat!” Cimil’s shrill voice rang out across the clearing, cutting through the sounds of the stunned crowd.
Maury’s amber eyes turned a glowing orange, sizzling with rage. “How did you get out?”
Zac turned around to see Cimil, dressed in a camo outfit, and K’ak, naked with his giant silver serpent headdress, marching through the crowd.
“Move, losers!” Cimil shoved demons left and right, sending them flying. K’ak trailed behind her.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Zac asked.
“Great question!” Cimil sidled up to Zac. “And I shall explain in un momentito. But first…” Cimil swiveled to face Maury across the ocean of demons. “The jig is up, hell boy. And by boy, I really truly mean a man who has yet to grow some curlies. You are through. Done. Finito. There will be no demon takeover. You will vacate the premises and the underworld immediately and return to your realm.”
“You are in no position to bark orders, ex-Goddess of the Underworld. Because I rule there. I rule here. The age of demons is—”
“Oh, shut your demon corn-holio, fuck stick. And before you open your mouth again, allow me to introduce the new ruler of the underworld.” She swiveled. “K’ak, meet Maury. Maury, meet the deity who is taking over responsibility for the underworld. Because I’ve been given a promotion.” Cimil bowed. “Meet Cimil, the Goddess of Death and War.”
What in the name of the Universe is going on? Zac’s head swiveled back and forth between K’ak and Cimil.
“I don’t give a damn what your title is,” Maury said. “The age of gods is over.”
“Wrong again, pumpkin.” Cimil winked. “We’re retiring, but think of it as voluntary. Sideline soccer moms, really. Which means we’ll still be around to keep the likes of you in check should the need arise.”
“You’re delusional, Cimil,” Maury yelled like a mighty warrior, but Zac could hear the tinge of fear in his voice. “You and your brethren are locked up. All immortal life has been wiped clean from the face of the ear—”
“Do I look locked up, bonehead?” Cimil laughed. “Arrogance was always your kind’s downfall. And never underestimate the power of dust.” Cimil turned to Zac, but then looked right to his side, addressing thin air. “Tula, you know what to do. Go, girl!”
Directly to his side, a bolt of light shot off from the ground and flew through the air toward the platform. In the blink of an eye, Tula’s body disappeared.
“What’s happening?” Zac asked.
Cimil looked as serious as a heart attack. “What’s happening is that you were right for once in your life. Neither woman is Tula.”
“Who are they?” Zac asked.
“Well, that one is Gola.” She pointed to Gola. “And the one who just disappeared was Minky.”
“What? How? Why?”
“After Maury claimed you lost the bet, Tula refused to go on a date with him, so he took her body and gave it to Minky.”
The crowd grumbled in shock.
“Yes, that’s right, demon peeps.” Cimil spun in a circle to address the crowd. “Zac is right! Your king is not the stud muffin he claims to be. He wanted to destroy Zac by ‘winning’ Zac’s woman and then killing her in front of him. But it was all a trick, smoke-and-mirrored unicorns, since the real Tula would never go along with such a plan. She would never pretend to love someone else. So Maury blackmailed my unicorn to take over Tula’s body. So there you have it. He tricked you! Also, I have it on good authority that Maury has a very small churro.”
Laughter exploded, and Maury’s face turned bright red. “That is not true. I am very well hung!”
“Where is Tula now?” Zac demanded. He had to see her.
Cimil jerked her head. “At the moment? She’s stashing her Minky-possessed body in a safe place. But fret nyet, my little pet, she’ll be back in a unicorn second, all ready for action.”
Zac was so confused. So Tula was in Minky’s body. And Minky was in Tula’s. And Tula had just run off with her body, with Minky inside it, to put them somewhere safe?
“Cimil…?” Zac growled as the crowd started getting unruly and screaming obscenities at Maury. “What the fuck is going on? Where is Tula—”
“Everyone here on this island is going on a little journey.” Cimil winked. “Buckle up, cowboy. It’s about to get bumpy.”
“What do you mean?” Zac screamed, losing his shit.
Cimil wiggled her brows. “The Goddess of Death and War doesn’t fuck around. That’s what I mean.” She looked over Zac’s shoulder. “Oh, look, Tula’s back. And there’s Mittens. Right on time to bump uglies!”