“Are you in danger? Do you… need me to do anything?” she stammers, fear lacing her tone.
I slide my eyes closed as frustration threatens me. Did she not just hear what I said? Why is she ignoring me? This is clearly a dangerous situation so why would she even risk herself at all? For me of all people! I’m not worth it. I would have thought after everything that has happened she would have figured that out by now.
But then I suppose I am the one who dragged her back in by coming here. Why didn’t I keep away?
“Tia, just go back inside. That’s all I need you to do. Do you hear me?”
“I’m not going anywhere. Not until you at least look at me.”
I don’t want to look at her. The moment I meet her eyes I know that things could easily explode. I can keep my strength up while I’m not looking into her eyes. Her face is what makes me crumble.
“Tia, just go back inside and let me deal with this, please. You’re a distraction.”
“A distraction? Are you serious? Shane, what the fuck is this?”
Her voice shakes, she’s clearly panicked. I do need to face her to make sure she fully gets my message. I connect eyes with guy with the gun who’s been talking to me. There’s a darkness to his gaze but he gives me a sharp nod. I suppose they probably want to get rid of Tia as much as I do. The less people involved in this the better.
I spin slowly and my eyes meet Tia’s. Instantly I want to crumble, I can’t help it. She’s so pale, so worried, so stressed out about all of this. Maybe if I’d gotten some words out and managed to explain then she would know why this is happening. Or she would at least understand that she might not need to be worried. Probably.
“Tia,” I breathe out desperately. “I need you to go back inside. Let me deal with this.”
She glances her eyes around at all the men with guns. She’s a small town girl, barely in LA. I can just tell that she hasn’t ever been in any kind of danger like this before which will amplify everything.
“Shane, I want to know what you need me to do. What’s going on here.”
“I…” I can’t answer this. I don’t really know myself. “This is a family issue.”
“F… family? The phone calls?” I nod. “So… that has led to this?”
“Yes, I think so.” I gulp down the thick ball of emotion that lodges in my throat. This is why I keep away from other people. I knew that sooner or later my past would catch up with me. “I will probably have to go now.”
“Go?” She almost takes a step forward towards me but sees the guns again and stays where she is with the door in front of her, ready to slam it shut at any given moment. That’s for the best, although a door won’t protect her if a bullet is flying through it. “You’re going to leave? You want to leave?”
“I have to leave.”
A thick silence clings to the air, it has to be the most awkward moment of my entire life. All I want to do is run to this woman, to apologize for the silence which now seems ridiculous since it all caught up with me anyway. I want to let her know just how much the time we spent together means to me especially since I’m certain now that it’s over. There isn’t any coming back from this. But I can’t do any of that. All I can do is stand here and plead with her through my eyes to at least keep herself safe. As long as she doesn’t get hurt then I can take any of it. Whatever the hell is going to happen to me.
“I don’t want you to,” she mouths to me, breaking my heart. “Please.”
I shake my head, unable to open my mouth to form words. This is it now. The end.
“Don’t, Shane.” I continue to shake my head. “I’m scared for you.”
Fucking hell. The only way I can sort this out is by being a dick. If I can upset her she might leave with ease. “Tia, this is absolutely none of your business so will you please butt out?” She recoils, looking a bit like she’s been smacked in the face which sucks. But I have to keep on. “Just keep out of my life, okay?”
“You came here!” Clearly she doesn’t get what I’m doing here. “You came to me.”
“To tell you to leave me alone. You have become obsessed with me.”
“I haven’t done anything.”
I know that, she must know that too. How can I silently communicate what I’m doing?
“Just go inside and leave me alone. I don’t want anything more to do with you. We are done, Tia.” I make a sweeping gesture with my hands to highlight my point. “I need you to leave me alone.”