“No, you didn’t.” I’m not going to get sucked back in. “If you were going to tell me things then you would have just done it. It wouldn’t have ended up in this weird way, all back and forth.”
“I just don’t know how to say it, that’s all. I haven’t ever done this before.”
I can feel myself starting to melt, to cave even though I really don’t want to, which means I need to leave right now. I back away until I slam against the door. Shane and I continue to stare at one another with the unsaid things flowing between us, but since it seems it will always remain unsaid, this needs to be done.
“Just leave, Shane. Leave and don’t come back. This needs to end now.”
“That’s what you want?” he asks quietly. “You want this to be over?”
It isn’t, but it’s what I need. Still, that isn’t the easiest thing to explain. “Yes, that’s what I want.”
I click the door open and step through the threshold. I’m still waiting for something to happen, but of course it isn’t going to. Shane has had his chance and he didn’t take it which means whatever issues he’s going through is his own problem. I don’t want to be cold but I need to protect myself.
“Goodbye, Shane.”
I don’t get a reply, just a look which I have to try and work passed. I slide inside, knowing that I need to ignore the tugging in my chest. I close the door behind me slowly with a click. The sound is loud, it ricochets right through me, but as I lean against the wood to let the emotional exhaustion rush through me, another noise bursts out which is even louder than the click of the door. It makes me jump violently, shattering my bones. I don’t know how I’m sure but this spells danger. It’s a terrifying sound that scares the shit out of me.
Bang, bang, bang.
“What the hell?”
I swing the door back open seemingly not as done with the outside world as I thought I was.
Chapter Fourteen – Shane
“Fuck!” I dart my eyes everywhere, searching for an escape, but there doesn’t seem to be one. “What is this?”
Men with dark black masks pulled over their faces surround me. And if that wasn’t menacing enough one of them has already shot off his gun three times. I don’t know if there are bullets in there or not but the message has been received. I’m scared and willing to hear whatever the fuck these men have to say to me.
One minute I was being rejected by Tia again because I could not find the words to tell her the truth. Despite my long walk over to Tia’s apartment I didn’t quite think of the words that I needed. I was just about to curse myself for being such a coward when all of these guys descended on me. My head is spinning.
“What’s going on?” I demand, my hands automatically rising in a surrendering gesture. I’m not about to fuck around with weapons, I would have to be absolutely insane. “Why are you here?”
“You need to come with us,” one of them replies gruffly. “Now.”
“Why? What the hell is this? I’m not going anywhere with you until you tell me the truth.”
The irony spills through me. I haven’t been honest with Tia, or anyone else in my life, so I’m not really in any position to ask for the truth myself, but then I haven’t been threatening people with guns.
“You already know why we’re here, who we’re here on behalf of, so let’s not make this difficult.”
The phone calls… my dad… this is obviously all linked. He wants me which is never good. My dad isn’t the sort of man who wants a father and son chat. It’s going to be nightmarish. I can’t even begin to imagine where it will lead. Especially if it’s starting this way. Men with guns… doesn’t exactly bode well.
“I have some stuff that I need to sort out here first. I don’t want to go anywhere.”
I don’t know what I’m bluffing for, or what the point is. These men have been trained to come and get me and that’s what they will do. They have their commands and that’s what they need to do. This is exactly why my intuition told me to run away. I couldn’t have predicted this would happen, but as soon as I got those phone calls I should have guessed that going anywhere near Tia was a bad plan. She could get dragged into this.
“Sh… Shane?” she stammers quietly, making my worst fears come true. Of course she’s come back out. I’m surprised there aren’t a bunch of people out here trying to work out what is happening. “What’s going on?”
“Go back inside,” I command without even turning around. I can’t see her; I can’t let her see me. This is a part of my life that I certainly don’t hold proudly. “Go in and lock the door. You can’t be out here.”