“So, I’m assuming that what you want is for me to whisk you off your feet again?” I demand.
She shakes her head slowly. “No, that’s the last thing I want. What I want is to know you.”
Ice overcomes me. It freezes the entirety of my spine. This is too much; I can’t let this woman know me. I slide my hand over the bar and reach across to hers but she remains stiff. She isn’t going to crumble as easily this time around. I need to try a different tactic to bring her back around.
“You already know all the important stuff about me… if you know what I mean.”
I wiggle my eyebrows and give her my best shit eating smile. Still, she’s unmoved. “I know what you mean.”
“I can show you more of that, if you like? I suppose I haven’t shown you everything I have to offer.”
She snatches away from me and shakes her head, almost looking annoyed by me. I don’t know what could possibly have happened between the last time we saw one another and now but there must be something.
“I don’t want to know anything in that respect, I want to know who the hell you are.”
“I’m Shane Valentine.” I shrug, trying to act blasé. “You already know that.”
“Except you aren’t really, are you? There isn’t any evidence that you exist online.”
“Online?” I laugh, trying to blow away the nerves. “Why the hell are you looking me up online? I’m not exactly your boyfriend, am I? You don’t need to start knowing everything about me.”
Fuck, this is actually quite serious. Even the women that I have accidently let dangerously close to in haven’t gone this far. Or perhaps they have and they found that I just don’t have an online presence so I can’t be who I say I am which means I must be a liar. Since I’m upfront about never wanting more, they have chosen to accept that. But not Tia. For some strange reason, Tia wants to know more about me.
“I know I don’t. I’m not trying to put you under lock and key or anything, but you turned up at my place. You dragged me back in and I want to know why. I want to know who you are. You might think this whole ‘man of mystery’ thing is good but it isn’t. If anything, it’s thoroughly annoying.” She snorts angrily. “Do you get that?”
“Man of mystery?” I try to play that off, but really I do carry that aura around me. But not because it adds to my appeal or because I think it makes me look cool, but because it’s essential. I need to keep a thick barrier around me. “Tia, I don’t know what the fuck you are talking about but I’m done here.”
I try to turn away but she grabs onto my arm and refuses to let me go. “You might be done but I’m not. I’m too good for you to just toss me aside when you’re done with me. Do you hear? I refuse to accept it.”
I kinda like the boldness to this statement. She’s refusing to take it lying down which is good really. She is too good for me to just turn my back on, whatever my reasons for doing it.
“Okay fine,” I concede with a one shouldered shrug. “What do you want from me?”
“I want to ask you questions and I want you to answer them.”
Simple enough, but not possible. “And what if I can’t answer them?”
She narrows her eyes, knowing that she’s landed on something. “Why wouldn’t you be able to answer?”
Shit, she has me there. “I don’t know; I’m just trying to cover every eventuality.”
She taps her chin thoughtfully. “I guess you’ll just have to let me know that you can’t.”
I’m sure that she won’t take it so easily, but I nod along anyway. “Okay, go on, hit me.”
“What’s your name?” She starts hard.
“Shane Valentine. I already told you that part.”
“That isn’t your real name though, is it?” I nod. “Is that the name on your birth certificate?”
“It sure is. I know it sounds like a made up name, but that’s what’s on my birth certificate.”
“Right, so why isn’t there any evidence of you online?”
I snort with mirthless laughter. “Not everyone needs to have their whole lives on the Internet.” This is only a half lie. “I don’t like social media; I don’t have any need to be seen in public.”
“Not even for your work? You aren’t mentioned on any website?”
“Nope.” I pop the P while I talk. “I don’t need to be; I don’t want to be.”
“That’s weird.” Tia darts her eyes away from me. “Don’t you think that’s weird?”
“I don’t know. I’m sure I’m not the only one who isn’t available anywhere online.”
She’s pissing me off a bit now, not letting this go. Who the fuck cares whether I’m online or not? Why does that matter so much to her? We used to live in a world where everyone kept their information private, so why can’t I still be that person? If Tia doesn’t stop soon then I’m really going to lose my shit.