“Oh right.” I slump forward with relief. She doesn’t know what happened last night. “I see. Yes.”
I don’t know if there is any point in keeping it inside anymore. More has happened with Shane and to be honest I want some real advice. I sigh loudly and pull out my cell phone to show her the one picture that I took of Shane on that first night. It doesn’t show his incredible beauty but it shows enough.
“Is that him?” Rae grabs the phone from me. “Oh wow, he is hot! No wonder you’re in love.”
I find myself giggling girlishly without even noticing the switch happening. A blush almost consumes my cheeks, mostly because someone so hot actually wants me. Has had me, twice.
“Yeah, but I think he’s a playboy type.” I nod slowly. “Which is why I’m all confused about him.”
“You don’t actually know him though?” she asks. “You should do some research.”
“What do you mean research?” I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.
“The online stalking… please don’t tell me that you have not done that before!”
I shake my head. I haven’t ever needed to because they have always been friends of mine first. And I have always known everything that I needed to know about them.
“Okay, well then I have a lot to teach you. Get your laptop out.”
Yeah, this is probably a good idea. I should do some research on Shane. I don’t really know anything about him. It can’t exactly make my obsession with him any worse, can it? I’m completely consumed by him as it is so this might just offer me some closure. That’s what I hope when I get out the laptop anyway. I’m keen for Rae to come up with the answers I so desperately need to move on.
“Okay, so what do we do?” I ask with an edge to my voice as I watch her get to work.
“I’m just going to find out what I can about him. Tell me his name.”
I gulp down the fear that this is taking a step too far. Showing a picture is one thing but saying his name feels like something different. Something that shouldn’t be happening. “Shane Valentine.”
Rae cocks her head to one side and gives me a look. “That’s a fake name if ever I have heard one.”
She’s right, I know she is. Of course it isn’t a real name! Who is actually called that? Disappointment crushes down on me, I’m really showing my naivety by falling for all this nonsense. And now I won’t be able to get any answers either because I don’t actually know anything about him. I really am an idiot.
“Yeah, I see,” I reply morosely. “This is probably pointless then, isn’t it?”
“It doesn’t matter; it might lead us to something anyway. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.”
“What do you think we might find using a fake name?”
Rae pauses thoughtfully before answering. “Do you have anything else on him?”
“Oh, an address. Will that help.” I push away the shame. Does it really matter that I went back to his place?
Her eyes light up and she snaps her fingers. “That could give us his real name. We might actually be able to unravel this mystery one bit at a time.” I feel her giving me a side-eyed look, she’s staring at me curiously trying to gauge something in my facial expression. I’m doing my best not to give anything away. “Are you sure you want to do this? I don’t want to pressure you into taking this step if you aren’t ready for it. There’s no telling what we might unleash. It might not be something that you like.”
That’s kinda what I’m hoping for. The less I like it, the easier it will be to forget. Now if I can just push down the anxiety butterflies that are flapping like mad so I can concentrate on what’s to come.
I nod slowly. “Whatever it is, I need to know. I get the impression that he has a secret.”
Rae rubs her hands together excitedly. “This sounds so juicy. I’m freaking excited.”
I swallow but I can’t gulp down the thick golf ball that lodges in my throat. This will be fine. It’s for the best. I need to remember that. Knowing is far better than being in the dark…
***
I cannot believe that I’m back here, I must have lost my mind. What sort of a person willingly walks back into the bar where the staff threatened to call the cops last time I was here? When I ran out of here a while back I promised myself that I’d never set foot in here again… yet here I am doing just that.
My desperation to get to know the elusive Shane Valentine, the man that has absolutely no presence online, that even the expert stalker Rae couldn’t find anything about, and this is the only way I could do it.