Still, getting to know the crew better, like Zac, is really a good thing.
“Okay, thanks, Zac. What is the mood like out there today?”
Zac rolls his eyes and laughs. “Yeah… I don’t think I need to answer that one.”
“That good, huh? Perfect. Just what I need today.”
I rise to my feet and walk towards the door, but Zac remains in the way, blocking my exit. I give him a curious look, trying to work out why he suddenly looks so uncomfortable. Am I about to be fired or something?
“You okay, Zac?” I ask him curiously.
“Yeah, I’m okay. I just…” Yep, he’s definitely uncomfortable. “I wanted to ask you something.”
“Oh right. Sure.” I sorrow my eyebrows in confusion. “What’s going on?”
“I…” His cheeks turn a funny shade of red. I might not have known Zac for very long but he’s always seemed pretty calm and collected to me, even when things on set are manic. I don’t know what this is. “I was just wondering what you’re doing when you finish up here. Do you have any plans or anything?”
“I don’t know, why is something going on?”
He stares at me as if he’s waiting for me to get something. I rack my brain trying to work out whatever it is that I’ve clearly forgotten but it isn’t coming to my mind just yet.
“I was erm, actually wondering if you might like to do something with me.”
“Just you?”
As he nods I get it. I haven’t ever been asked out on a date like this before, it just kind of happens, which is why I didn’t realize it. I suppose it isn’t the worst idea in the world. I could see myself with this guy I guess. He’s certainly got the look of my usual type and he seems like a great person as well. I get on with him well, I don’t have anything to complain about, it could be fun…
Yet, I don’t have the inclination to go on a date with him and I don’t know why.
No, actually, I do know why and that might be the issue. There isn’t that immediate initial spark with him. Not like I had with Shane, that sensation bubbling under the surface that doesn’t even need a name. It just isn’t there. That’s a stupid thing to base it on since what I shared with Shane was out of the ordinary, not my usual self, not the sort of thing that I should be chasing. That was just lust whereas Zac could be more real if I let him.
“Er, I don’t…”
“If you need more time to think about it I can give you that,” he back tracks in an unassuming way. He doesn’t command like Shane, which is probably a good thing. Even if it doesn’t feel that way. “You need to go on to the sets anyway.”
I don’t glance behind me as I get to work, I don’t want to see his crushed face. It probably took him a whole loads of courage to ask me that and I definitely didn’t give him the response that he wanted. All because of one night with a man, a stranger who I might never see again.
“Idiot,” I tell myself again. “What a freaking idiot.”
“Who is an idiot?” the hard faced extra from before asks me. “You talking about Olivia?”
“You really don’t like her, do you?” I chuckle. “No, I meant myself.”
“I don’t like her behavior for sure.” She shrugs in a blasé way. “But you seem okay.”
That seems like a huge compliment from her so I smile. “Thank you…” I’m being cautious but I could also use a friend in this. Someone who approves of this life and actually understands it. “My name is Tia, by the way.”
“I’m Rae. Good to meet you.” She smirks and rolls her eyes. “Good to meet someone in this business who isn’t an immediate asshole. An idiot, maybe. Something that you have said yourself and that I will work out…”
I laugh and nod at her. She’s a nice person, through the hard face. That expression is something I can only assume is a mask to protect her. I could see myself having some sort of friendship with this person.
“So, what was going on over there? With Zac, I mean.”
I sigh loudly and shake my head ever so slightly. “He was asking me out on a date.”
“A date?” Something about the way that Rae’s face crumples sums up how I feel. I don’t know what it is about Zac but I just don’t want to go out on a date with him. “Oh no, you can’t go out with him.”
“Why not?” I need her opinion; I need someone else to tell me what this is.
“He isn’t the one for you. I can just tell that already. You need someone more… exciting.”
I shudder, immediately thinking of Shane yet again. He was exciting, he was a thrill like no one else. The memory of him holding my body was off the scale. I haven’t ever had anything like that before.