“Guess I was hungrier than I thought,” Conrad said sheepishly as he polished off the last of the tots. “Sorry.”
“No worries. I wasn’t going to eat them,” I said honestly as my phone buzzed with a message. Conrad scooped up our trash, which gave me an excuse to pull out my phone. I knew even before I clicked Open that it was likely Mimi since I’d texted her earlier that I had to use my emergency card.
Impulsive purchases aren’t like you, so I’ll trust that your friend had a legitimate need. We will work out payment when you return. Also, I saw your adviser at a meeting today. Hope you are thinking about your future. You need to make some decisions when you return.
I groaned aloud before I even realized what I was doing.
“What?” Conrad asked as he returned to the table.
“Nothing. Just my mom.” I stood to follow him to the exit as we made our way back to the car, which fit right in with the decor, looking like we were ready for a funeral procession.
“Oh. Is she pissed about the credit card charge?” Conrad settled himself back in the driver’s seat, but I didn’t argue. We could trade off after the game store.
“Not really. It’s more…” I trailed off because Conrad didn’t need to hear what a loser I truly was.
“Yeah?” Something about the gentle way he prodded made my shoulders loosen up, made it easier to talk about the one thing I usually ran from discussing.
“Mimi and Mom are concerned because I have yet to finalize my plans for the fall.” I chose each word as carefully as I would which card to play to end a game.
“What? You? Haven’t you had your future mapped out for years now? Med school, right? You’re one of those supersmart kids who knew they wanted to be doctors at like three or something.”
“You’re not wrong.” I didn’t look at him as I reset the GPS on my phone. “I mean at three, I wanted to be a preschool teacher like Miss Betsey, my favorite person in the world. But between Mom being a doctor and both sisters heading that direction, it wasn’t long before I wanted to be a doctor too. But with kids, rather than brains like Mom or surgery like my sisters. I liked the idea of pediatrics.”
“You like kids? They don’t irritate you?” Conrad headed back to the highway. “Would have figured kids would annoy you. You always like things just so.”
“I do.” I wasn’t going to try to lie on that one. “But kids are so much easier to understand than adults. They tell you exactly what they are thinking. Not as much guessing. They don’t do fake nice.”
“Huh. Guess that’s true. And you are good at showing newbies the game, which is kind of the same thing. I never have that patience for going over each and every rule, but I’ve seen you. You’re good at that.”
My face heated from the unexpected compliment. I hadn’t been aware of him noticing anything about me, let alone anything positive. “Thanks.”
“But, what changed for you? I thought there was, like, a doctor shortage or something.”
“Ha.” I couldn’t keep the bitterness out of my voice. “Yeah, the country needs more doctors. But tell that to medical-school admission committees.”
“You didn’t get in?” The shock in Conrad’s voice both irritated and validated me at the same time.
“Not a one. Two years running,” I admitted. Outside, Dayton’s city center zipped by, giving way to the older, urban neighborhood we were headed for. My brain felt similar—like the last year had whizzed by, and now here I was in an unfamiliar landscape. Unlike us, though, life had yet to give me a GPS for navigating. “And now… They want me to have a plan. But I just…” I let my voice trail off. Even talking about this was exhausting. I’d counted so much on medical school solving a lot of my problems, not the least of which had been getting the moms off my back. They’d be proud and supportive from afar, and I’d be off doing my own thing. But instead, here I was, way too old to be getting lectures about my future, but not really sure how to get out of it.
“Hey, I get you. Plan Bs are hard.” Conrad sounded as frustrated as I felt. It was nice, having someone who got it. Someone else searching for a direction. “Professor Tuttle and Professor Jackson keep getting on me to find a new plan too. Some way of finishing my degree maybe, or a track to a better job. But I’m not even sure what I want at this point. Going back to school… Hell. I don’t know. And that’s why I need this win. I mean, there are so many reasons, but it’s the best plan B I’ve got.”