Her mother eased back to look at her. ‘I was ashamed of being such a naïve fool over him. How could I have not known he was not as invested in the relationship as me? One minute we were planning the wedding, and then the next I was calling everyone to say it was off. It was the most embarrassing thing, having to hand back all those presents. For years I only had to look at a wedding dress and I’d want to throw up. It infuriated me that I hadn’t seen what was right before my eyes. That’s why I was so worried about you and Daniel. I could sense he wasn’t the one for you. I want you to be happy. I want you to have the “for ever” love I can’t seem to find no matter how hard I try.’
Emily frowned. ‘But I thought you were happy with your footloose and fancy-free lifestyle?’
Her mother let out a puff of air. ‘Why do you think I teach all this couples’ intimacy stuff? Because I’m rubbish at it in my personal life.’
Emily’s shoulders drooped. ‘Yeah, well, it seems I’m not too great at it, either.’
‘So the sex wasn’t good?’
She couldn’t believe she was discussing her sex life with her mother. ‘No, it was amazing. It was the one thing we were good at—better than good. Perfect.’
Her mother shifted her lips from si
de to side in a thoughtful manner. ‘If only I’d met him and seen him with you I could have told you for sure if he was the one for you. Body language doesn’t lie.’
‘I already know he’s the one for me,’ Emily said, taking another tissue and sighing deeply. ‘Thing is, he doesn’t think he’s the right one for anyone.’
Six weeks later...
Loukas was glad his work called him away to the States for a few weeks because he was sick to death of his housekeeper casting him How-could-you-have-let-her-go? looks that grated on his nerves like a file on a bad tooth. He was doing his best not to think about Emily so he didn’t appreciate Chrystanthe reminding him at every opportunity that he hadn’t gone after her.
What would have been the point? She had made up her mind. He would only be lying to her if he got her back by telling her what she wanted to hear. That was the sort of thing his father would do. She had made her decision and he had to respect it. At least she was allowing him access to his child, but it stung a little that he wasn’t there twenty-four-seven so he could see the changes in her body as the baby grew. Was she still nauseous? Did she still feel faint? What if she was sick and needed help? Who would she call? She didn’t seem all that close to her mother, in spite of her words to the contrary.
He had thought about calling or texting but he hadn’t trusted himself not to plead with her to come back. He wasn’t the sort of man to beg. That was a lesson he’d learned a long time ago. He’d once begged his father to take him back to his mother. He’d been sent to his room and only allowed out once he’d apologised for being ungrateful. He had stayed in his room for two weeks, only coming out for meals and bathroom visits. His begging had given his father even more power over him and he had sworn he would never allow anyone to do that to him again.
But it wasn’t just his housekeeper on his back. Draco and Allegra had been at him as well. He’d told them to back off. He was in London to see Emily at the twelve-week scan today, and that was all he was prepared to do in terms of contact before the scan. The press had noted he and Emily were currently living apart, but apparently they had other much more scandalous couples to follow now, and had left both of them alone.
The only people who hadn’t said anything to him were his mother and sister. A month ago that wouldn’t have been all that unusual. Sometimes several months went by without any contact from them. But, since they knew of Emily’s pregnancy and his intention to marry her, why hadn’t they contacted him and offered commiserations at the very least? It said a lot about his relationship with them. They were as distant with him as he was with them.
Or was it because Ariana was disappointed she wasn’t going to be a bridesmaid after all? His sister’s one chance of being part of a bridal party and he had ruined it. Or maybe they had sided with Emily since they had met her and seen her warm and generous personality for themselves.
He could hardly blame them for shifting loyalties. How could they not prefer her to him? She was all he was not. She was love, laughter and hope while he was an emotionless wasteland. They would probably think she’d had a lucky escape from a loveless union with him.
But would it have been loveless?
The thought kept at him, catching him off-guard at odd moments. He already loved his child even though it was still only a tiny foetus. He’d been on that pregnancy website every day. It was almost like an obsession now. First thing in the morning—if he had even been to sleep, that was—he would check it out. He’d even been on a baby-name site, trawling through names, wondering whether his baby was a girl or boy. He had even been checking out baby wear and toy shops. He’d bought a hand-made teddy bear while he’d been in New York and, when the shop assistant had asked him if it was for his child, he’d been ridiculously proud to say yes.
But along with that pride was a niggling sense of disappointment Emily hadn’t been with him to help him choose it. Weren’t they supposed to be doing this together? Wasn’t that part of the joy of welcoming a child into the world? Preparing the nursery, buying a pram and car seat, a high chair and a cot? How was he supposed to do it without her? What was the point of anything without her?
Loukas didn’t like admitting it but he missed her. He missed her smile with its adorable dimples, her cute little rabbit-twitch, her soft hands and how it felt when they touched him. He couldn’t imagine making love with anyone else. The thought hadn’t even crossed his mind.
He only wanted her.
His gaze drifted to the tiny gold key on his hotel room’s desk. He had found it on the floor by the bed after Emily had left. She must have dropped it when she stuffed the jewellery box in her handbag. She’d thought he hadn’t noticed but he’d seen her in the reflection of the mirror. He couldn’t understand why she had bothered taking it. He picked up the key and turned it over a couple of times. It had cost more than the silly little box. Way more. Why had she left the most expensive gifts and taken that old box that wasn’t even worth the money he’d paid for it?
He put the key back on his desk, but every few minutes his gaze would go back to it. She couldn’t open the box without the key and the key was useless to him without the box. He suddenly realised Emily was like that tiny, golden key. She had come into his life and picked the lock on his heart. He’d thought it was lust that had driven him to seek her out, but now he wondered if something else had been going on. Something he had never encountered before. Something that dismantled all the barriers he’d put up over the years.
It was easy to lust after someone. It took no courage at all. But loving someone was different. It opened you up to hurt, to vulnerability.
But it also opened you up to healing.
Loukas had never considered himself a coward. He had prided himself he’d always faced up to responsibility and never shirked from a task because it was unpleasant or inconvenient. But hadn’t he been hiding away from love? Lacking the courage to explore the emotions he had locked down deep inside him?
Emily had found the key to him. Her bright, cheery smile had shone on all the dark, shuttered and shadowed places in his soul, illuminating him with a beam of hope for the first time in years.
His professional reputation was built on his ability to keep places, people and top level security systems secure, and yet a cute little clumsy Englishwoman had stumbled into his life and cracked his code.
He loved her.