My head fell to the headboard as my legs shook. Her words poured over my ears with a hot fury that made me want to drive to her. To get in my fucking car and speed through the night until I was crashing into her apartment and claiming every hole she had.
Mine.
Theresa was mine.
I listened as her breathless pants slowly morphed into regular breaths. I reached over to my nightstand and plucked a few tissues from the box. This wasn’t the first time I’d pleasured myself to the thought of her body. But never in my life did I ever think I’d be able to hear my name being screamed by her on the other end of the line.
The only thing that would make it better was if she was beside me now. Seeing what she really did to me.
“You still there?” Theresa asked.
Her voice was dry. Worn out from the cries of pleasure she had let loose moments ago.
“I am,” I said.
“How was the meeting?”
I chuckled as I finished cleaning myself off.
“It was long. But it served its purpose, and it puts my company in a good place.”
“That’s good,” she said. “That’s really good.”
But it was the unspoken words that hit me hardest. My company doing well in Boston meant I couldn’t stay in Maine. I couldn't relocate myself back there, and I wasn’t sure how she would take to the idea of relocating here. She was finally finding herself and I didn’t know if I could ask her to make any decisions based on my feelings. Theresa fell quiet, and I knew she was thinking the same thing, but neither of us wanted to bring it up.
“What was the meeting about?” Theresa asked, trying to steer the conversation away from our awkward pause.
“New clients. Any project that grosses a net profit of over eight hundred thousand dollars has to be discussed and approved by everyone,” I said.
“Wow. That’s a lot of money.”
“I thought so at first, too.”
“So, you have new clients. That’s good for business, right?”
Yes. But it wasn’t good for us.
“It is,” I said. “It’s very good for business.”
“Well it’s getting late and I’m kind of tired. You can tell me more about it when you come back,” she said, her voice sounding anything but tired.
“Sure,” I said. “I’m looking forward to seeing you.”
“Me too,” she said.
We said our goodnights and my head lolled back against the headboard.
I hated the way her voice changed. How soft and defeated it sounded. I hung up the phone and tossed it to the side before I got off the bed. I threw the tissues in the trash and made my way to the bathroom, then turned on the light and took a good, hard look at myself.
I knew this was going to come back and bite me in the ass. I knew this was going to screw me over. Screw both of us over. But I was attached. I didn’t want to admit it, and I’m not sure how it happened, but I had gotten attached to Theresa again. Like I had been as a teenager. And I knew I would go back. I knew I would take her in my arms and kiss her deeply and sink myself back into her body as many times as she’d let me.
I knew I would gladly screw both of us over, even if I knew this was temporary.
And I wasn’t sure what kind of a man that made me.
CHAPTER 19
THERESA