I grabbed my keys off the floor and looked at Theresa one last time. If I stayed any longer, my inner demons were going to strike out. I was going to punch Ike’s face until his jaw busted and his nose bled, and I didn’t want Theresa to witness that. I could see the strength in her resolve. I had to trust that somewhere, deep down, that strong teenage girl who bucked against her parents that day still existed.
So, I strode out of the apartment and slammed the door behind me.
I peeled out of her apartment complex, spitting rocks with my wheels. My mind was swimming a thousand miles a second, and I needed to find peace somewhere. I drove out of Bar Harbor and headed East, driving my way out to the coast. It was my favorite part of the area, and it always had a way of calming me when I didn’t know where else to go.
And right now, I needed as much peace as I could get, because my heart felt like it was being squeezed in a vice.
CHAPTER 9
THERESA
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
The door slammed behind Ike, and I did my best not to jump.
“You really think spreading your legs for some guy is going to erase all the bullshit you put me through, Theresa? That you could somehow start fresh a whole day after we broke up?”
“Ike, take a breath,” I said.
“Take a breath? I come into an apartment I’m still technically renting to find you fucking some other guy less than a day after we break up, and I’m supposed to be calm?”
“What did you expect me to do? I told you it was over between us and I meant it. Was I supposed to go into mourning for our shitty relationship?” I asked.
“Shitty relationship? I gave you eight fucking years of my life Theresa! I gave you everything I had.”
“What you gave me was a damn headache. Do you know how exhausting it was to fight with you all the damn time these past few years? I am done with it, Ike. And I’m done with you,” I said.
He stood, looking incredulous in front of me. “And what about me? What about how I feel about all of this?” he asked.
“It doesn’t matter what you think, Ike. What matters is that we’re done.”
“Done? You think it’s that easy to get rid of me, Theresa?” he hollered.
“It worked yesterday, didn’t it?” I spat. “I told you to get out, and you left. I’d like to try that again.”
Ike’s face turned bright red with anger, and I suddenly found myself wishing I hadn’t told Grant to leave.
“You are selfish, you know that? And stupid. And I can’t believe I wasted the last eight years of my life on you. Did you have no respect for our relationship at all? A day and a half and—by the smell of it—a bit of booze was all it took for you to dumb your standards down to the first guy who offered his cock to you? I supported you through school, I helped you through your mom’s death, I’ve paid your fucking rent for years, and this is how you treat me?”
I blocked his voice out of my mind and let him go on his tirade. If I let him get it out of his system, maybe he wouldn’t come back. But I knew my first priority had to be getting out of this place and finding something I could afford, even if it meant moving back in with my father or taking Hollis up on his offer. It wasn’t ideal, but it was better than this. It was better than Ike feeling like he had a right to the place because he paid two hundred dollars of the nine-hundred-dollar rent.
I allowed myself to relive my night with Grant. It had been amazing. And mind-blowing. And eye-opening. I’d never been handled like that. I’d never experienced those kinds of sensations with someone before. The way he commanded me then promptly settled me with the soft touch of his lips. The way his legs kicked my body open before pressing into my back. The way he had picked me up effortlessly into his arms after we were done shivering against one another.
The way our fingers intertwined and our bodies joined like they were made to fit together.
It had been wonderful, and I wished I could take my comment back. Being with Grant hadn’t been a mistake. Listening to Ike yell at me only served as proof. I’d gladly deal with Ike yelling at me every morning after for the rest of my life if it meant I could be with Grant.
But Grant wasn’t for me.
He never had been.
And I couldn't travel down that path again. My heartache for what my father did to Grant was what drove me into the arms of Ike. And I couldn’t allow myself to be weakened by a man like him any longer. I had to stand on my own two feet and figure out my life for myself, not rely on yet another guy, good as he may be, to get through life. I knew I could do it, and imagining a life with Grant would only disrupt what I knew I had to do.
But he wasn’t a mistake.
He could never be a mistake.
And I cursed myself for calling it that.