'It's my belief,' said Miss Wychwood, with conviction, 'that you are all about in your head!'
He laughed. 'On the contrary! But don't delude yourself into thinking that my liking for you makes me think that you are a fit person to have charge of my niece.'
'How mortifying!' she retaliated. 'What do you propose to do about that, sir?'
'Give her back into her aunt's care, of course!'
'What, take her back to Chartley Place? What an addlebrained notion to take into your head! You had as well bestow your blessing on her marriage to Ninian without more ado!'
'No, not to Chartley Place! To Cheltenham, of course!'
She shook her head. 'Oh, I don't think you'll be able to do that! The last intelligence we had of poor Mrs Amber was that she was prostrate, with Lady Iverley's doctor in attendance on her, and since Lucilla tells me that it takes her weeks to recover from these – these hysterical seizures I should very much doubt if she will be able to return to her own home for some time to come. Now I come to think of it, she has announced that she never wants to set eyes on Lucilla again, and although I don't set much store by that I do feel that it would be unreasonable to expect her to change her mind before she is perfectly restored to health.'
'I'll soon restore her to health!' he said savagely.
'Nonsense! You'd be more likely to terrify her into strong convulsions. And even if you did succeed you could still have Lucilla to contend with.'
'There will be no difficulty about that, I promise you!'
'Oh, I don't doubt you could bully her into going with you to Cheltenham!' she said, with maddening affability. 'What I do doubt is your ability to prevail upon her to remain there.'
He regarded her with kindling eyes. 'I should not bully her, ma'am!'
'Well, do you know, I think that's very wise of you,' she said, in an approving tone. 'She has a great deal of spirit, and any attempt on your part to coerce her would be bound to set up her bristles. She would run away again, and it really won't do for her to spend the next four years running away! No harm has come from her first flight, but if she were to make a habit of it –'
'Oh, be quiet!' he interrupted, between exasperation and amusement. 'What did you call me? Outrageous, wasn't it? What's sauce for the gander, ma'am, is also sauce for the goose!'
'That's given me my own again, hasn't it?' she said, with unabated cordiality.
A tell-tale muscle quivered at the corner of his mouth; he met her quizzing look, and quite suddenly laughed. 'M
iss Wychwood,' he said, 'I lied when I said I liked you! I do not like you! I am very nearly sure that I dislike you excessively!'
'What can I say, dear sir, except that your sentiments are entirely reciprocated!' she responded.
He smiled appreciatively. 'Has anyone ever got the better of you in a verbal encounter?' he asked.
'No, but it must be remembered that I have not until today had much opportunity to engage in verbal encounters. The gentlemen I have previously been acquainted with have all been distinguished by propriety of manners and conduct!'
'That must have made 'em sad bores!' he commented.
She could not help thinking that that was one accusation which could not be levelled against him, but she did not say so. Instead, she suggested, rather coldly, that they should waste no more time pulling caps, but should turn their attention to a matter of much graver importance.
'If you mean what's to be done with Lucilla –' He broke off, frowning.
'Well, I do mean that. It would be useless to take her back to Mrs Amber – even if Mrs Amber were willing to receive her. It might be thought that you were the properest person to take charge of her –'
'Oh, my God, no!' he exclaimed.
'No,' she agreed. 'It would be quite ineligible. You would be obliged to hire some genteel lady to chaperon her, and I should doubt very much if you could find anyone suitable for the post. On the one hand she must have enough strength of mind to enable her to exercise some degree of control over Lucilla; on the other she must be meek enough to bear with your overbearing temper, and to obey even the most idiotish of your commands without argument.' She smiled kindly at him, and added: 'An unlikely combination, I fear, Mr Carleton!'
'I am relieved! If the unpleasant picture you have drawn is with the object of inducing me to leave my ward in your care –'
'Not at all! I shall be happy to keep her with me until some more suitable arrangement has been made, but at no time have I had the smallest intention of keeping her in my permanent charge. May I suggest to you that your immediate task must be to set about the business of launching her into Society? I am astonished that this very obvious duty should not have occurred to you.'
'Are you indeed, ma'am? Then let me tell you that I have made arrangements for my cousin, Lady Trevisian, to bring her out next year!'
'Oh, that will never do!' she said quickly. 'After having had a taste of the very mild entertainments offered in Bath at this season, you cannot expect her to sink back into the schoolroom – which is what will happen to her if you succeed in bullocking Mrs Amber into resuming her guardianship.'