I now understood where she was going with this and it made me feel like shit. “None.”
“You closed yourself off from almost everyone and it cost you a lot of people. Shit Mel, you’ve known Nancy and Kayla as long as you’ve known me. And you haven’t talked to them in four years. When you shut yourself off, you shut everyone out. No one knew how to help you because you never let them.”
“Because no one could help me. I just needed someone to listen, not to try and fix me,” I said.
“But did you tell them that?” Layla asked.
“No,” I said, feeling ashamed. She was right, I had shut everyone out of my life and then turned and blamed them when they went away. And I was doing the same damn thing to Evan.
“Oh my God, I’m such an idiot,” I said, putting my head in my hands.
“No, you’re not an idiot. A little slow maybe, but not an idiot,” Layla said with a smile.
I stuck my tongue out at her and laughed with her.
“You went through something horrible, but you won, Mel. You beat him, literally, if I remember correctly. Don’t let him take anything more from you. You’re finally starting to open up and let yourself feel things you never thought you would again. If this Evan is really worth it, you have to let him in, or you’re going to lose him too.”
“I know, I just have to figure out how to do it.”
“Take your time and do it when you’re ready. But don’t wait too long,” she told me.
Layla and I spent the rest of the afternoon catching up and by the time I left, I felt a lot better about the situation. I just hoped I hadn’t broken something that was too delicate to put back together.
CHAPTER 25
EVAN
The morning sun was streaming through the windows earlier than I wanted it to. Liam was knocking at my door, talking about his growling stomach. Hadley was crying over the baby monitor and, by the sounds of it, she had been crying for a while. I sprang to my feet and threw open the door, teetering on my feet as I pushed passed Liam.
Melanie’s absence was hanging heavily over this cabin.
I’d tried calling her multiple times but got no answer. She had finally texted me saying she needed a little time and would be in touch soon. I was filled with worry for her as I stood at the stove and fixed breakfast, and my soul felt empty again.
Liam kept asking about her and I knew Hadley was looking around for her. Her head kept turning on a swivel before she looked back at Melanie’s seat at the table and it broke something inside of me. I had to conceal my growing tears from them as we ate breakfast, and then an idea crossed my mind.
We could all use some time out of the house.
Getting the kids dressed, we all hopped into my truck. I got Hadley buckled in her car seat before I got Liam situated in his, then we traveled into town. It was good for us to get out for a bit. The kids had been cooped up because of the snow and part of me hoped that by going out, we might run into Melanie.
For the past two nights, my body had ached for her. I slept lightly, wanting to make sure I heard the cabin door if she knocked. But that knock hadn’t come. I took the kids for a drive and we went through a drive-through. Liam was excited to get ice cream so early in the morning and Hadley was very happy with her squeeze-pouch applesauce. That would keep them occupied while we drove around town, and it would buy me some time to see if I could spot her. I knew where her house was and that in all reality she’d probably gone home, but it felt like too big of an intrusion to show up on her father’s doorstep. Not to mention, if she hadn’t gone home and had gone to a friend’s instead, I didn’t want to panic an old man with a heart issue.
After traveling most of Bozeman and not seeing her car anywhere, I decided to take the kids to the park. Liam was running around with ice cream frozen on his coat while I pushed Hadley in one of the infant swings. She was giggling and clapping and her little legs were just flapping in the wind with happiness.
It was one of those moments I wished Melanie was here to share with us.
“Uncle Evan! Look!”
I turned just in time to see Liam dive headfirst down a slide and tumble out onto the ground.
“That’s awesome, kiddo! Just be careful!”
“I will!” he yelled.
I gave Hadley one more push before I let the swing do the work. I pulled out my phone and tried calling Melanie again, and like always it shot me to voicemail. I left her another message, pleading with her to call me so I knew she was okay.