She stood up and plucked the coffee mug from my hands before she made her way to the kitchen. She rinsed them out and quickly washed them before she set them out to dry, and I reached for my coat. I stood by the door and watched her as she made her way down the hallway, her hips swaying and her hair fluttering around her shoulders while she walked.
She was a vision of beauty, even with the stress she was currently under.
But something told me she needed some time to herself, and I had projects calling my name from my shed.
“If you need anything, I’ll just be out back in the shed,” I said.
Her movements stopped for just a moment before she started spraying stain remover on the kid’s clothes.
“Thanks,” she said.
CHAPTER 18
MELANIE
The evening before hadn’t exactly gone as planned. Evan’s innocent comment about violence had thrown me. For a brief moment, I could feel the crunch of my captor’s nose against my forehead as I’d fought like hell to get away. I remembered swinging the pipe down and the sickening thud that had followed. I couldn’t get my mood right after that.
I knew that Evan wanted to know what was up, but I still wasn’t quite ready to tell him. Not to mention, there was something he was not telling me either. Something that had to do with the kids and his brother. Maybe we weren’t meant to be more. Maybe we were just supposed to be a distraction to help one another deal with life’s heartaches.
No, that couldn’t be it. We were both just damaged and needed to figure out how to be whole.
I pulled up to the cabin and saw smoke billowing from the chimney. I parked my car and went inside to see the kids already sitting at the breakfast table. Evan looked exhausted as he stood at the stove, and I quickly went over to take his place before he sighed.
“We’re almost out of diapers, so I’ll need to run into town to get some,” he said.
“If you have car seats, I could go and take the kids with me,” I said.
“No, no. I’ll make the run. There are a few other things we need anyway. Some things I need for my shop and all,” he said.
The yawn that escaped was big, and I could tell by the bags under his eyes that he hadn’t slept well.
“Rough night with the kids?” I asked.
He just shrugged.
“Your brother didn’t give you enough diapers to hold you over?” I asked.
“He didn’t, no,” he said.
“That’s odd. How long are they supposed to be gone?”
“It’s fine. I’ve got it,” he said.
His statements were clipped as I watched him pour a cup of coffee for himself. He chugged it down before quickly getting another, and that was when I saw how haggard he really looked. He was in his clothes from yesterday and his eyes were bloodshot red. His movements were slower than usual like his exhaustion was weighing down his ability to move fluidly.
But where he looked tired and ragged, the kids looked well-rested and happy. It was as if he was the only one who hadn’t slept. I wanted to know more about it, but he wouldn’t let me in. I knew the reason why he wasn’t opening up to me. It was because I wasn’t opening up to him. He had gently prodded me yesterday, but I had shut down. I knew he was curious and I knew he was trying to put pieces together. He was trying to get to know me with the little bit I was showing him. And if I didn’t open up to him, he had no reason to open up to me. I couldn’t expect someone to tell me all their secrets while holding mine close to my chest, but I wasn’t ready to talk to him about this.
I decided to throw him a bone. “If you want to talk about anything, I’m willing to listen,” I said.
His eyes slowly panned over toward mine and they robbed me of my breath. I could tell he was debating something. I knew how he felt. That feeling where you bounce between pouring your life story into someone’s lap and burying it deeper into your chest. The mere fact that he was struggling with this meant he wanted to confide in me. He wanted to sit down and talk to me about these things. He wanted me to know what was going on with him, just so he’d have another person to help shoulder whatever it was and walk alongside him, instead of him dealing with it all alone.
Just like I had wanted to tell him a couple of times before.
“I know,” he said. “I’m gonna make the run to the store before I get working. You need anything?”