How can a man like me be fit to parent?
I can’t even fucking care for myself?
Then, as I grabbed the beer and brought it to my lips, my mind rushed back to another moment of torment, in the conference room of the tech company I built from the ground up. It was the same scene I had repeating in my head thousands of times over, like a broken record.
A tiny part of me was ready to move on, to leave the past where it belonged and accept the teachings, but that part was crushed by the fuming alpha inside that refused to give in. He didn’t believe in forgive and forget. He preferred to hold a grudge, even if it would eat him up like a fucking parasite, from the inside out.
That day felt like just yesterday. Ted actively started a smear campaign against me to edge me out of the company. He exposed my addiction to painkillers to the board and used my fiancée against me. All sorts of things came out that day. The fact that Ted and my fiancée were sleeping together, the fact that I was addicted to painkillers, the fact that the company’s earnings were down fifteen percent from last year.
Ted took it upon himself to spin the reason for the company’s lack of growth to my addiction. What he failed to make note of was the fact I designed the company’s structure specifically so it did not need me to survive, by appointing qualified people into the most critical roles. Ultimately it didn’t serve me well, because Ted knew he didn’t need me to grow the company and he was convincing enough to the rest of the stakeholders who were more concerned about their own pockets than getting to the bottom of the loss of revenue.
I watched my bitch of a conniving fiancée cry fake tears of fear for my health or safety or whatever the fuck she was spewing that day.
They made such a convincing argument that the board voted to have me removed.
They tossed me out on my ass and gave me a package of ten million dollars. It was a joke. Ten million dollars to the man who started and grew a fucking four hundred million dollar I.T. company from nothing. It made me fucking sick. I was done with the world after that. I went home, burned all my fiancée’s shit, sold the penthouse condo right out from under her fucking feet, and never looked back.
Now, I was tucked away in the mountains of Montana with my brother’s two kids, living off the interest from my severance.
Sure, it could get lonely from time to time and, before the kids had come along, I would entertain myself with random chicks, screwing them in the bathroom of the one decent bar in town. But even that had gotten old. And now that I had Hadley and Liam to think of, my sex life was in a sad state. Even though I had a nanny who could watch them so I could go out, I still didn’t want to risk a clingy bimbo following me home. Maybe I could manage to be without pussy for a little, at least until I really got my shit together.
I strode over to the fridge and grabbed myself another beer. I’d been clean of my addiction to painkillers for months, but nights like this tested my willpower. My stress levels would mount and my hands would shake violently. My body would crave it and my mind would tell me just to take the edge off. When those two beautiful kids came to live with me, I flushed all the pills down the damn toilet. I blocked and deleted all the numbers of people I’d call to get them from and I told myself that was that.
No more from that point on.
Cold fucking turkey.
I sat on the couch and listened to the quiet around me. Most nights I appreciated the solace, but tonight it just made things worse.
Maybe I did need to get laid.
CHAPTER 2
MELANIE
I sat at the kitchen table poring over the bills and feeling the panic start to rise in my chest. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm my nerves. I needed to find a job that paid decent, and fast.
I needed to get my ass in gear.
I graduated from the University of Montana nearly six months ago and had yet to find work. There wasn’t much need for a preschool teacher here in Bozeman and, with my father’s health rapidly declining, I couldn’t exactly leave in search of a job somewhere else.
My dad never asked me to stay, that was more due to his pride and love more than anything. My mother had taken off when I was just a baby so I was the only one left to take care of him and he was too fragile to move with me anywhere.