“Something like breathing some life back into that cooch of yours?” Layla asked, a wicked giggle escaping from her.
“Layla!”
“Listen, I know,” she said, turning serious. “I know why you’ve steeled yourself against any type of relationship. But maybe this isn’t a bad thing? Maybe this could be the first step in your getting back out there? You’re young and gorgeous and sweet and smart and there are a whole lot of guys being deprived of that. Not to mention, you’re depriving yourself of feeling desired and loved. I just want you to be happy, Mel.”
I smiled. “I know you do, Layla, and that’s why I love you.”
We finished our conversation and I promised to call her later. She also promised to call my dad and see how he was, to make sure he wasn’t just blowing smoke up my ass so I wouldn’t worry and try to get to him.
I hung up the phone and closed my eyes. Maybe she was right. Maybe it was time that I let my guard down a little. I’d holed up inside myself for four damn years, telling myself that I was just being cautious; that I was protecting myself. But maybe I was really letting him win. I had fought for so long to get my sense of safety back, but I had never truly let myself be free.
I decided right then and there that I would no longer let that bastard take any more of my life from me.
And maybe Evan was the first step in letting it all go.
CHAPTER 11
EVAN
Nightfall came and it was time to put the kids to bed. The gray clouds were looming over the cabin, but they hadn’t yet started dumping snow. Hadley was practically asleep on Melanie’s shoulder as she bounced her in her arms.
“Ready to go to bed, buddy?” I asked.
“No,” Liam said, yawning.
“That yawn says differently,” Melanie said.
“No sleep,” Liam said.
Hadley’s cheek was pressed into Melanie’s shoulder. She looked so peaceful resting on her new friend. It warmed my soul to watch them. I gathered Liam in my arms and took him back into his bedroom, and immediately he started trying to get away from me.
“No, Uncle Evan. No sleep,” he said.
“Not even with the alphabet song?” I asked.
“No!”
“What if Miss Melanie comes in here and sings it with me?” I asked.
I watched his eyes light up with joy just at the mention of it.
“Mew sing?” he asked.
“I can go ask. Let’s get your pajamas on and get you in bed and then I can go find her and ask.”
Liam fought me every step of the way, but I eventually had him in his pajamas. He wanted me to keep the light on just so he knew I had to come back, and I chuckled at his logic. He was smart, just like my brother, and the ache of loss quickly began to settle in.
But it alleviated itself the moment I walked into Hadley’s room.
“There you go, sweet girl,” Melanie said. “How does that feel?”
Hadley was stretching her arms as a massive yawn unhinged her jaw. The little girl clung to Melanie as she plucked her from the changing table and carried her over to the crib. I could hear Melanie singing something in Hadley’s ear as she slowly lowered my niece into her crib but it wasn’t until I took a step forward that I caught the last of the song.
“… you’ll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my Hadley away.”
She was singing the song I sang to Hadley every night, and I was stunned since she had revised and personalized it the exact same way I did.
“Oh, hey there,” Melanie said, whispering. “I think she’s almost asleep.”
We both watched as Hadley rustled around in her crib before she rolled over and closed her eyes. The beautiful woman before me slowly tiptoed from the crib over to where I was standing and then we trickled out into the hallway just as I shut the door behind us both. I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
“How do you know that song?” I asked.
“Oh, it’s a pretty common one. My father used to sing it to me and he’d add my name all the time. I was trying to keep her quiet since I heard Liam kicking up a bit of a tiff over having to go to bed.”
“He wants you to come and sing to him,” I said.
“Sure,” she said.
Her eyes rose to meet mine before she walked past me and down the hallway. I looked back at Hadley’s closed door and listened for her, making sure she didn’t cry for me or need anything else. I opened the door one last time and took a peek inside, watching as her small little chest rose and fell quickly with her breaths.