He returned to the sink, wet the towel, and turned off the water. The place seemed quiet without the running faucet. He handed me the towel.
I sat in a chair and started cleaning the blood off while Cormac watched.
“Is Cormac your real name?”
“It seems to work all right.”
The blood wouldn’t come off. I just kept smearing it around.
Sighing, he took the towel from me. “Here. Let me.” He held my wrist, straightened my arm, and started wiping off blood with much more focus and vigor than I’d given the task.
My arm had been numb. Now, it started to sting. Weakly, I tried to pull away. “Aren’t you afraid of catching it? All the blood—”
“Lycanthropy isn’t that contagious. Mostly through open wounds, and even then mostly when you’re a wolf. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone catching it from a werewolf in human form.”
“How did you learn so much about werewolves? How did you get into this line of work?”
He shrugged. “Runs in the family.” Efficiently, as if he’d had lots of practice cleaning up blood, he washed my arm, shoulder, and neck. He even cleaned the blood out from under my fingernails. On both hands. Zan’s blood, that time. “Don’t you have a pack? Shouldn’t one of your buddies be doing this?”
“I’m kind of on the outs with them right now.” Feeling was coming back to the arm, which was bad, because it hurt, throbbing from neck to fingers. I started shaking.
“Jesus, I didn’t think werewolves went into shock.” He threw the towel into the sink, stomped to the bed and grabbed the blanket off it. He draped it over my shoulders, moving to my front to bring the edges close together, tugging me into a warm cocoon. I snuggled into the shelter of the blanket, sighing deeply, finally letting go of the tension.
Just how long had it been since I’d felt warm and safe? And how ironic, that I should feel like that now, with him. The werewolf hunter. He was right; I must have been in shock.
Before he could draw his hand away from the blanket, I reached for it. I was fast and gentle; he didn’t even flinch when I pressed his hand against my shoulder. The pressure was there before he realized that I’d moved.
Members of a pack feel safer in groups. Touch holds them together. Two members of a pack can rarely be in the same room without touching every now and then, sometimes nothing more than the backs of their hands brushing together, or the furred shoulders of wolves bumping. Touch meant ev
erything was going to be okay. For that moment, for a split second, I wanted Cormac to be pack.
Then the human voice came to the fore and noticed how freaking odd this must have looked to him. I pulled my hand away and looked down, shaking my head. “Sorry. I—”
He took my hand back. My eyes widened. He curled my fingers into his grip and squeezed. His skin was warm, still a little damp from the wet towel. The touch rooted me, brought me away from the pain. Everything was going to be okay.
He was still kneeling by my chair, which meant his head was a little lower than mine. I looked down on him, slightly. He was in the perfect place for me to kiss him.
I touched his cheek with my free hand and brushed my lips against his, lightly, just to see what he would do. He hesitated, but he didn’t pull away.
Then he kissed back, and he was hungry. His mouth was warm, his lips active, grasping. I tried to match his energy, move my lips with his, letting the heat of attraction burn through my body, through my muscles. I wrapped my uninjured arm around his neck and slid off the chair, pressing myself to him. He held me there, his hands against my back. He moved his kisses from my lips to my chin, up my jaw, to my ear. Clinging to him, I stifled a gasp.
I hadn’t been with a normal, nonlycanthropic human since I’d become a werewolf. I’d been afraid to be with a normal human. Afraid of what I might do if I lost it. But Cormac could take care of himself. Being with him was different from being with a lycanthrope. I hadn’t realized it would be different. I was stronger than he was. I could feel the strength in my muscles pressing against him. I could hold him away or squeeze him until he cried out. It made me feel powerful, more in control than I ever had been in my life. I wanted to take him in, all of him. I could hear the blood rushing through his body, sense the strain of desire in his tendons. He smelled different from lycanthropes. More . . . civilized, like soap and cars and houses. He didn’t smell like pack, and that made him new. Exciting. I decided I liked the way he smelled.
I buried my face in his hair and took a deep breath. I squirmed out of his grip so that I could work my way down his whole body, tracing the whole scent of him, down his neck, along the collar of his shirt, down his torso and the hint of chest hair through the fabric, across his chest to his armpit, which burst with his smell. I lingered there, then nuzzled my way down to the waistband of his jeans, and oh, I couldn’t wait to find out how he smelled down there . . .
Grabbing my shoulders, Cormac pushed me away and held me at arm’s length.
“What are you doing?”
“You smell fresh.” I strained toward him, my eyes half-closed, wanting to plunge back into the scent of him.
He stood, putting space between us. “You’re not human.” He marched away.
I knelt on the kitchen floor, my knees digging into the tile, my heart pounding, reaching for the body that wasn’t there.
After a moment, I wandered to the other half of the apartment. He leaned against the opposite wall, his arms crossed, defensive, staring at the door like he couldn’t understand why he didn’t just leave.
“I’m sorry,” I said. I wasn’t sure what I was apologizing for. For being what I was, maybe. I couldn’t help that, though, so I didn’t want to apologize for it. So I was apologizing for this. For calling him. For kissing him. For not guessing how he would react.