Enzo’s arms are around me, holding me tight. “Hormones from the baby or mommy-guilt?”
I shrug as I cling to him. “Both I think.” We just found out two weeks ago I’m pregnant again. It wasn’t a surprise, we planned it, or rather I told Enzo I was ready and he said whatever I wanted. I’ve finally found my equilibrium between work and home, or rather I was feeling less guilty about working. It helped my workday was only about five or six hours and there were some weeks when I only went into the office three or four days. I handled only our highest tier clients, as did Dante, and only reviewed our reports and made sure everything was running smoothly.
“I’m just disappointed I’m not that mom. I didn’t even make the food, you did it. You do everything and I’m just here—”
“Hey, no, do not even start. You are an amazing mom, Allegra adores you. You come in the door and she forgets I’m here. You are her number one, well, behind Cetta.” We laugh, Cetta and Allegra have a mutual adoration. Cetta doesn’t leave Allegra’s side for most of the day, even when Allegra is sleeping. Pepe hates being chewed, so he’s not a huge fan. Cetta acted as if Allegra was her baby.
I sniff. “Today, she’s all up on Bethany.”
“That’s because she knows Bethany is going to spoil her rotten. Once Alicia and Cesare get here with the kids and Allegra has to compete for attention she’ll be crying for you.”
Shaking my head, I kiss him. “You’re such a good liar. I shouldn’t love that about you. I’m a close second to you and I’ll take it any day of the week.”
I love how he blushes. He is the best father I’ve ever seen, that included television. Enzo adored the very minutiae of being a father, everything Allegra wanted or needed he was doing it before she even cried for it. I’m pretty sure it’s why she doesn’t cry much, she is sweet but she has her moments when she screams down the house. I’m almost sure it makes me a bad mom for being pleased it happens with the nanny, Evelyn, mostly. It wasn’t that Evelyn wasn’t a great nanny, I saw her genuine love and care for Allegra. It’s simply Allegra wants what she wants when she wants it and it was usually me or Enzo. Nonna was here daily to spend time with Allegra, usually in the afternoon to look over Allegra in case Enzo needed to keep working.
The front door opens, seconds later I hear Matteo squealing with happiness as he calls for Uncle Tony. I’m reminded of what I meant to ask earlier. “Where’s Dominic? Is he coming today?”
With a kiss on my forehead, Enzo shakes his head then lets me go to pull the stuffed shells out of the oven. “No, Tony said he was out of town for a few days. I’m curious because Tony then said something about Dom may be coming back with a wife of his own. Then he clammed up.”
“Huh, so he’s off in Russia picking up a mail-order bride or something? I thought Dominic was anti-marriage.”
Enzo shrugs, “That’s why I’m so curious. Dom has stated several times he’s not interested in getting married.”
“Interesting.” My phone goes off with a text. “Oh good, Russell is coming.” I sigh.
“Poor guy, I’m glad he’s getting out of the house for something other than work. And I’m proud of you for not saying anything about Adam. It’s obvious Russell is still in love with him.”
I nod. “They moved too fast.” Enzo laughs. “We were different. I think they were both more in love with the idea of love instead of actually in love. Lust isn’t love and I think for Russell it was lust and hope he finally found a guy he could settle down with. At least they didn’t make it to getting married. I think it would have been ten times worse. Russell was already having a hard time with his parents dealing with him and Adam. If Russell had cut his family off because they weren’t going to come to the wedding then they divorced, he would have been devastated. And have I told you lately how much I love you for getting him that job at Anton and Burton?”
Enzo nods. “I remember hoping desperately it was just lust. And I believe you told me two whole months ago. I think a spanking is in order because it’s been so long.” I’m wet at his words. Enzo grabs my ass, grinding into me. “I got out of bed way too early this morning.”
“Yes, you did. We have a nanny for a reason. I missed you this morning. Tonight, we let the nanny put Allegra to bed.”
“I doubt we’ll need Evelyn to do it. She’s going to crash before people even leave.”
“Ooh, even better.”
“Are you guys in here making out when I’m starving?” Dante groans.
I blush as I push my husband away. “No.”
Enzo nods, “Yes, go away. I’m not done seducing my wife for an early night.”
“Whatever you’re both sure things. Come on, I’m so hungry. I was eating Allegra’s Cheerios.”
Dante helps carry the dishes into the dining room. Within ten minutes everyone is around the table. Russell hugs me as he enters the room, I hold him tight for a minute as I whisper I’m happy he could be here. He blinks fast as I let him go then sits down beside Nonna. I’ve missed him over the last few months as he took time to heal from his break up. For a moment I simply take in the family I have now. Not just Nonna who has become a fixture in my home as we became closer and she enjoyed her grandma status with Allegra. There was Uncle Tony who loves to come over to cook with me for dinner at least once a week. Alicia who has become the big sister I never knew I was missing, patient when I called to ask one question or another about Allegra or even Enzo. Even Cesare, calm, steady, patient and always willing to help without hesitation. I’ve always treasured my relationship with Dante, for his confidence in me and the way he always had my back but over the last year both at work and home, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have been able to keep it all together without him. Bethany laughs as she hands Allegra to me, we share a look. Bethany wasn’t
just my sister-in-law, we’re more than sisters. We talked a dozen times a day, we're in and out of each other’s homes with and without our kids. I get now when she talked about fitting, I’m not sure how it happened but I fit in with this family not just through blood but with love. Maybe I won’t have to have six children in order to have the big loving family I dreamed of as a child... we’ll see.
From across the table, my eyes meet Enzo’s and hold. He sees it, he nods. He mouths the words. I don’t have to hear them to know what they are.
“Te amo sempre.” I love you, forever. He doesn’t have to tell me, he shows me every day, without fail.
Smiling, I repeat them back. His eyes glitter sending heat throughout my body. One day I’ll look at him and he won’t kick over bees in my tummy and make my skin tight, today isn’t that day. I’m thinking tomorrow won’t be it either. When the day comes though, I’ll have the memories of when he did and that will be enough.
Nine Years Later
Enzo