“Ah, okay, but leave your hair down.”
“Yes, master, whatever you say, master.” She bows as she leaves the closet.
It’s my turn to sigh, in relief. Maybe we can turn this around. I change then see my own hair looks as if hands have been in it. When I go into the bathroom to brush my hair, Chloe is already gone.
The night goes better and faster than I feared it would. Dante and Bethany were already downstairs, and Chloe and I were teased about what was taking us so long, then the teasing kept going all night long. Alicia and Che left all the kids at home even though I tried to insist they bring them. Alicia admitted it was nice to have a night off, and since she wasn’t breastfeeding it wasn’t a big deal. I worried for a minute when Tony and Lillian sized each other up, then Lillian smiled and the moment passed.
As the door closes behind the last person, I’m dying to get Chloe back upstairs and end the night right, only Lillian seems to have caught a second wind. Chloe’s eyes meet mine when Lillian urges me upstairs to bed. Regret is there, but I know neither of us are willing to tell her no. With a last nod to Lillian, I go upstairs. I take a quick shower and try to stay up, but my body drags me into sleep.
When I wake up, no alarm needed as usual, Chloe is tucked into my side. I want so badly to wake her, but I don’t dare. She’s not a morning person under the best circumstances. I’m not going to take a chance by waking her up to make love to her; for all I know she might push my ass off the bed.
I dress and am ready to go. When I come out of the bathroom I find Chloe leaning against the tufted headboard. She’s sleepy but smiling.
“Hey, gorgeous.” I kiss her cheek.
“Enzo, don’t go to work, stay in bed with me for another hour. I’m sorry you were asleep before I came up to bed. Nonna talked my ear off about marriage and kids.”
Shit, I have a conference call in a half hour with my largest investment. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t not go in. Her hand is wrapped around my tie, pulling me against her. “I wish I could, angel, but I can’t. I have a major call I have to be there for in a half hour.”
She stiffens. “Why is work always more important than anything else? You can’t reschedule or something?”
I pull back, and she lets me go. “Today I can’t, it’s important. This call has been planned for weeks, it’s not something that can be pushed back.”
Shaking her head, she sighs. “Fine, never mind.” She rolls over, her back to me.
Christ, I never know how to fight with her anymore. What I want to do I don’t have time for. I settle for something in between. A hand goes into her hair, bringing her up to me. At first she keeps her mouth closed, refusing me entry, but I don’t give up until she’s sagging against me panting.
“Tonight,” I promise before releasing her. Now I can go to work.
23
Chloe
When I wake up for the second time with my alarm clanging too damn loud, I roll over to stare up at the ceiling. I can’t put it off any longer. Sliding off the bed, I go into the bathroom to find the pregnancy test I stashed here yesterday. We were supposed to do this together, it was the real reason I asked Enzo to stay home. I already know I’m pregnant; I wanted him to find out with me, though. Just an hour, he couldn’t give me an hour of his day. Stop it, Chloe, he’s a billionaire. He didn’t get that way by winning the lottery. He’s worked hard for it; he can’t turn it off like a switch. Except he’s going to when the baby comes. He’s going to go from fourteen-hour days in an office to five-hour days at home, for the baby.
The test takes all of five minutes from beginning to end, including me reading the directions twice. Two lines, no surprise, but seeing them there makes it real. I run a hand over my stomach. Nothing to see here yet. A baby, a little piece of me and a little piece of Enzo. The thought weakens my knees and I sag against the vanity. Why couldn’t he be here? Would he have been if I told him the real reason? Deep down I know the answer, and I hate it. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath. I open the bottom drawer of the vanity, set the test with the box and directions in the back where I can’t see it, and close it. I need to get ready for work.
***
Chloe
After an early dinner we go to the opera. When we get home we have a late snack of buttered noodles Nonna makes. Nonna lets us go up to bed at eleven.
When Enzo reaches for me, I don’t tell him no. I don’t say anything, I need him too much, need this too much but when it’s over I push him off. Thankfully he doesn’t say anything. He pulls me into his arms the way he usually does, and even though I want so badly to push him away again, I don’t have the strength so I fall asleep in his arms.
And that’s how the rest of the week goes. During the day I try to pretend I’m not hurting, that I’m not pretty fucking sure I’m making a huge mistake. At night, Enzo fucks me until I don’t have a solid bone in my body. I wanted to say make love but I know I’m wrong, was always wrong because you make love to someone you care about and fuck someone you’re trying to knock up for the grand prize of a kid. I’m pretty sure Enzo feels my attitude, but he doesn’t care so he doesn’t say a word, doesn’t ask, and I’m done asking for things I can’t have.
***
Chloe
It’s my wedding day; it’s supposed to be the happiest day of my life. Three seconds after I open my eyes I’m throwing up with my head in the toilet. Thank god Enzo is already out of the room. This happened yesterday, I was kind of hoping that would be the end of it. After I brush my teeth with only baking soda because I can’t stand the taste of toothpaste anymore, I go back and lie on the bed.
I check my phone, it’s almost ten o’clock. The ceremony is at noon followed by a half hour of pictures then lunch on our lawn. We actually only ended up having twenty-two people total, Adam included after Russell broke down and forgave him, so everyone will fit in the backyard. In forty-five minutes a woman is coming to do my hair and makeup, and although Bethany and Alicia aren’t in the tiny wedding party, they are coming over to have their hair and makeup done too. The wedding party will consist of Russell as my best man—no, he doesn’t get to wear a dress even though he asked a hundred times and Dante as Enzo’s best man. Nonna thought it was sweet I asked her to give me away, but her old-fashioned sensibilities wouldn’t let her so I nixed the idea entirely. I’m walking all of sixty feet. Even if I am wearing heels, I can make it on my own.
From the window I can see the backyard has already been set up for wedding splendor. There is a trellis covered in peonies in pink and white, and huge teacup roses also in pink and white. We’re getting married by a judge Enzo knows.
“I swear it looks like a floral shop threw up in your backyard. It’s gorgeous.” Russell opens the door without knocking. “Pussycat, what the fuck? You’re just lying in bed.”