“Exactly, do you see the blood? That is what breastfeeding does to your nipples. Not only do they swell to five times their normal size then darken to three times their normal color, they bleed.” I toss my phone back on the bedside table, then try and lie back down, but I don’t get far as Enzo catches me then rolls me under him. I don’t complain, I love it but his attention is on my breasts, one large hand cupping one of them. Even though it’s dark in the room, he runs a seeking thumb over my nipple.
“They bleed like just—for no reason?”
“Not for no reason, because a small human without teeth is gumming them while trying to get their breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, early evening snack, dinner, late snack then midnight snack on. There are hundreds of millions of babies who are not breastfed who do fine without it. I don’t think it’s too much to ask not to have painful bleeding nipples when the baby can get what they need another way.”
Enzo nods. “I mean, you hear over and over breast is best but fuck, that’s a huge ask after nine months of already losing full ownership of your body. Matteo was early and never took to breastfeeding, Che said he felt bad for liking that it wasn’t all Alicia feeding the baby. He thinks he was able to better bond with Matteo, same with Sophia. For some reason Alicia could only go a few weeks; it made life easier with Che able to get up in the middle of the night and Alicia not practically attached to the baby.”
“There’s that too. I know it’s weird and I’m sure it might change, but I don’t want to be one of those moms who has their kid attached to their hip. I mean I totally want to cuddle my kids at bedtime and at times throughout the day, but I don’t think it’s healthy the way some moms lately can’t go a few hours without their kid. Does that sound bad?”
“No, it doesn’t. The whole helicopter parenting is bad for the kid and the parent, the kid doesn’t become self-soothing or self-reliant. I think my dad managed a pretty good balance of being there, but also making sure we could handle everything from getting ourselves to bed to making dinner without him. We never felt like we couldn’t go to him; we knew he was there for us.” He goes quiet, then rolls onto his back. This time he doesn’t pull me into his arms. Tough; I lay my head on his chest and sigh when his arm goes around me.
“Are you mad I want to keep working after my maternity leave is up?”
“No, I’m going to be home. It doesn’t make sense for both of us to be home.”
Shock has me sitting up. “You’re going to stop working?”
He tugs me back into his arms. “Not stop, but go down from fourteen hours a day to only four or five hours and work from home. We’ll need a nanny for when I do need to be on a conference call or meet with clients, but I want to be hands-on like my father was.”
I kind of can’t believe him, a multibillionaire becoming a stay-at-home dad. Enzo, a swirling mass of energy, is going to give up the cut and thrust of the business world for Gymboree. “Seriously?”
His chuckle floats around us. “Seriously. It must have been some time since you spent a few hours with a toddler. They are exhausting, in the best way. I’m not giving up work entirely, I’m simply not going to have another person raise my child, then wonder why she doesn’t want anything to do with me as a teenager other than wanting money from me.”
Ah, I’m gooey inside again. “She? You want a girl?”
“If you’re up for six then I want at least five girls, and I’m perfectly content for all of them to be girls. We have more than enough male Sabatinis.”
“How un-Italian of you, Enzo Sabatini.” The surprises don’t stop coming with him.
“I don’t need sons to prove I’m a man.” A big hand goes down to envelop my ass. “Besides, I’m guessing you want all girls.”
“I kind of did, but I’ve seen pictures of Matteo and if we have boys who look like him, I’m happy with a few boys too.”
“Yeah, Matteo is a cute kid, but you should see Sophia she’s gorgeous.” The idea of him cuddling a dark-haired little girl has me smiling as I bury a yawn into his chest. “Sleep, angel, I’m up at five thirty. I’ll try not to wake you up. Go over to Bethany and Dante’s for breakfast in the morning. Their housekeeper Claudine will make you breakfast and the best damn espresso. Call Everett fifteen minutes before you’re ready to go. He’ll take you to work and for tomorrow he’ll run you around the city.”
“Okay.” I yawn. “I’ll do the florist on my own. Thank you again for coming today.”
He presses a kiss into the top of my head. “I didn’t think you would want me to come, or care if I was there.”
I run a hand over his chest. “I did because I was completely out of my depth. I wasn’t one of those girls who dreamed of her wedding day; hell, I don’t even go to weddings. At least you’ve done it before.”
“I had no idea what was going on until the day I showed up. If you need something from me, speak up. I’m not a mind re
ader. We’re already both strong personalities; add into that not effectively communicating and we’ll crash hard.”
Nodding, I kiss his chest. “Russell said the same thing. I will. I promise.”
A large hand runs up my back then around to my stomach. “You said now wasn’t a good time? What did you mean?”
“My period should start in three or four days. The best time would have been a week ago.”
“Hmm...doesn’t mean we can’t keep trying.”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
18
Chloe