“Anymore? You’ve known her for a week.”
I wince—he’s honed in on the one thing still filling me with doubt. It does feel like too much too fast. I also know nothing has ever felt so right. “How long did it take you to know with Alicia?”
Shit, I didn’t mean to say that. “What are you saying, Dante?”
Even though I am dying to know when he knew, how he knew, I shake my head. “I don’t know. Forget it. You’re right, this is fast, a few times I thought the same thing. I also know it feels right. It’s almost like I don’t have a choice. Or if I do, it’s between Bethany and back to being miserable again.”
“So it was her, this change in you. You smiling again, those lines gone from your forehead. It’s because of her.”
It’s not really a question, but I nod anyway. “All her.”
He sighs as he gets up then runs a hand through his hair. “When you hurt her—”
“Jesus, Che, I’d rather cut myself than hurt her. Don’t say shit like that.” Why does he have to say it like it’s a foregone conclusion?
Our eyes meet, and he nods. “All right. It’s not like I have a choice anyway. But I’ll support you the way Alicia asked me to.”
God, I love Alicia. “Thanks.”
He shrugs. “Lunch at one?”
Che said his piece. It’s done. “Works for me.”
“See you then.”
When he leaves I exhale, releasing tension I had no idea I was holding. I wouldn’t have been able to walk away from Bethany even if Che told me to, but I’m glad he didn’t.
***
Bethany
My eyes flick down to the time in the corner of my laptop. It’s only three minutes later than the last time I checked. Oh my god, this day is taking forever. The guy in the video says a word that sounds like attention and I click out of it. I’m not paying attention. I’ve watched this thing almost fifteen times now. It’s the least annoying video and it’s laid out easier to follow than many of the others. I’m actually feeling a little confident.
I dunk my teabag again before I take another sip. This damn tea is making me jittery. I thought green tea was all calming and healthy. Right now I feel like I could run a marathon, or at least get dressed and leave the house, on one cup. Not even espresso does that for me. My phone rings, and I get way too excited, then let down, it’s Alicia.
“Ciao.” Alicia giggles then responds in a flood of Italian. “Okay, okay, you know I didn’t understand a word you said, showoff.”
“I’m happy you’re trying. You want me to dig out my tutor’s number? I liked her, she was nice and patient.”
“Not yet, maybe after another forty hours of the videos then I might ask you for it. What’s up, chica?”
“I talked to Cesare. Good news: no bones are going to break. Cesare is going to be a good, supportive big brother. Until Dante makes you cry, then Cesare will break something.”
I roll my eyes. “He’s so sweet. You know it’s a breath of fresh air to encounter Neanderthals after everyone was certain they disappeared.”
Her laughter is loud. “Dante is only a tiny bit better, so don’t think you’re safe.”
“Yes, yes, I’m aware. About that...” God this is embarrassing. I’m not even sure how to ask the question. Talk about TMI.
“What?”
“Is it weird or bad I like, um... I like, oh crap. Shouldn’t it not be a turn-on when Dante gets all rough and aggressive and threatens to spank me?” Oh shit, I did not mean to say the last bit. Kill me now. “Strike that last thing from the record. Council will forget I ever said it.” Alicia is laughing way too damn hard. “Alicia, this is a serious question here. I’m supposed to be a feminist. Does this mean I’m not?”
“Okay, okay, sorry. I’m going to tell you what Cesare told me: don’t ever let anyone make you feel ashamed about what turns you on. As long as it’s between consenting adults. Whatever it is, it only matters if it’s what you both want and are happy with.
“There’s a whole community geared toward people looking to be dominated because it turns them on. I also love it when Cesare gets all...you know. I’m going to say without any shame, I love being spanked. Sadly it doesn’t happen often enough because Cesare hates it when he manages to leave bruises even though I ask for it. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries or call him on it if he oversteps, or even better, to ask for what you want. I’m no expert on Dante in the bedroom, but at work he made sure I never felt uncomfortable. I can’t imagine he would be different with you.”
Relief has me sagging into my chair. “Thank goodness. I was a little worried. I almost went looking through the internet for the answer but I didn’t want to pick up any viruses, if you know what I mean.”