“Yes, my overanxious son. I’m not really surprised. We’ll be here and fine.”
I’m not tired, adrenaline is still flowing through my veins. I leave Olivia to sleep in the back of the jet and go through some work. Then about four hours in my email goes off. It’s from Sam, a file on Lawrence Theirry. Shit. The guy is a train wreck waiting to happen. He has a history of smacking women around from his first girlfriend at sixteen. At twenty he was charged with stalking and domestic violence.
The court-ordered psychiatrist diagnosed him a narcissist with borderline personality disorder. He was put on medications and he evened out, this is when he met Stella. There are pictures from the damage he did to one of his girlfriends. I cannot believe the fucker only got six months in jail for that. Then when he got out of jail he beat her to within an inch of her life. She has needed two facial reconstruction surgeries because of all the bones broken in her face.
An hour later Olivia comes into the cabin from the bedroom. It’s clear she’s washed her face, brushed her hair and put it into a braid. When I cross to her she sighs as she hugs me tight around the middle. “Thank you.”
“For what?” I mutter against the top of her head as I fight not to squeeze her tighter.
“For holding me together while I tried to fall apart. I’m sorry you’re getting dragged into this. When we land I’ll take my sister’s kids and we’ll check into a hotel until I find something more permanent once I talk to Stella and see how she wants to do it.”
I stiffen. “No, not happening. You stay with me, the kids will stay with me. I’m more equipped to protect you and them. I have guards at the house already and another by your sister. Her mother-in-law has already tried to get in to threaten her against pressing charges. Your sister went shaky on pressing charges. She didn’t agree until I told her CPS has already gotten involved because of Angela being struck by Larry, and he admitted to it.”
“You talked to Stella?”
“Yeah, she wasn’t happy about the guard I had put at her door. She changed her mind after the visit from her mother-in-law, though. I also made sure she knew there were guards on her kids. As far as I know Melinda, the mother-in-law, doesn’t know where my mother lives, but I was already thinking of taking them to my place anyway.”
She’s shaking her head. “Rourke, this is all—I can’t let you take over on this. I—”
I don’t let her finish; my hands go down to her hips, yanking them against me. “Who do you belong to?” Her eyes close, and tears leak out. I kiss them away, hating the way my chest knots at the sight of them. “I take care of what’s mine. No one gets to hurt you. Family is often a part of the collateral damage in domestic violence cases like this. Not this time, not you.”
“And who protects you? I love you and I don’t want you mixed up in all of this either.” I go still at her words. She pushes against my chest, but my arms tighten, not letting her go. “Yes, damn it. Don’t act like you didn’t know. I love you. I know about you being afraid of dying early and leaving behind someone grieving for you, but I don’t care. I don’t care if I get only ten years or five years or three years. I love you. There are no guarantees in life. You have to take each day and be grateful for it. Do you really think if you walked away from me today, I would be able to shrug it off?
“No, I couldn’t because if you leave you’re taking a part of me with you that I can’t get back. A part no one else can fill up. I figured it out: everyone you meet and care about, they add to and take from you, but there are some people who can add so much more. They heal the cracks you never thought could be the same again and they aren’t the same, they become something new with your love.
“I know you lov
e me too. I know you belong to me the same way I belong to you. Your love has filled the cracks some I knew I had and others I didn’t know about until your love helped them heal. Yet I paid for it by giving up a part of my heart, my fucking soul to you. That’s what your mom has been missing all these years not just the loss of her husband but a part of herself she can’t get back, that no other man could give her.”
No, she has to be wrong. I’m trying to let her go, to push her away to find space, room to breathe only I can’t. Instead, I’m pulling her tighter to me. Olivia clings to me. “Shh...” I didn’t realize I’m battling for air until her soft, cool hand caresses my face. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I love you. Take a deep breath for me, baby, again, yes, like that.” She’s whispering she loves me against my temple again and again as she runs her hand over my cheek. We’re back in the bedroom without me being aware of how we got here.
Olivia presses me down, following me down as my grip on her hasn’t loosened. Her soft, full body against me soothes the tension in me, and I slip into sleep to the sound of her telling me she loves me.
***
Olivia
I’m so screwed. The love of my entire fucking life almost had a panic attack when I told him I loved him and he figured out he loved me. When he figured we were too far gone to part with a kiss on the cheek, when he figured out how much him walking out of my life would destroy me—and it would. I will never be the same if I lose Rourke.
He’s not perfect, he’s too arrogant, he’s too demanding, he’s not the nicest person in the world, but he’s adores me, thinks I’m beautiful, puts up with my smart mouth, and he loves me. It’s not about finding a perfect person, it’s about finding the perfect person for you, and for me it’s Rourke. I sigh as I realize this is going to be harder to get him to cop to than I thought. Then I remember what Gabe said: give him something to live for.
At the time I was hurt I wasn’t enough, but I think I figured out what Gabe meant. It’s not just me it’s a life with me in it, and children, our children, a home, our home, a life worth living for. I go into my purse. These are a new packet, I actually didn’t take yesterday’s pill and haven’t taken one today either. Christ, what time is it? I push all the pills out of the blister pack until I have a pile on the bed, then scoop then into my hand and before I chicken out I flush them. My stomach drops as I watch them disappear in a whoosh of water. This is either the best thing I’ve ever done or the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.
“Olivia?” Rourke’s voice, rough from lack of sleep, sets my heart pounding in my fingertips. The door to the bathroom is open as I flush my face with cool water. “What are you doing? Are you okay?”
I walk slowly back toward him, my hands on my stomach. “I just flushed my birth control pills. I didn’t take yesterday’s or today’s. If you can’t give me your love, give me something else. Give me your baby. Give me something to remember you. Give me your son.”
He’s shaking his head in shock. I pull off the sundress I snatched in the dead of night. By the bed, I push down my panties then undo the catch of my bra, knowing how much he loves my breasts. He is still shaking his head, but he doesn’t stop me from undoing his pants then pulling his hardening cock out. I lick the tip already glistening with his precome. Sweet, so sweet to me. With a sigh I move over him, then guide his cock inside my wet pussy. As I slowly take him inside me, even though I know it’s too early, there’s no way it’s possible, I taunt him. “Give me your son if you can’t give me yourself.”
Rourke roars as his hands go to my hips, his hold tight enough it guarantees bruises as he becomes a man possessed, fucking into me hard, fast, taking me over completely. I might be on top but he is in control, and I love it. Falling on his hard chest, I cling to him as he fucks me through one orgasm, then another before he comes with a growl low in his chest, sending vibrations through my whole body.
It’s how we fall asleep until the pilot comes over the speaker warning us we will be landing in twenty minutes.
We move slowly, our touches lingering as he helps me get dressed. Yet he says nothing. There wasn’t time for a flight attendant to be arranged. It’s weird to have left France at one in the morning only to arrive in Austin at three in morning. Despite the time, the small airport isn’t quiet. A large man, as tall and wide as Rourke, is waiting. He has a large scar on the side of his face that doesn’t detract a bit from his attractiveness.
“Sam King.” He shakes, Rourke’s hand then mine.
“Rourke Vega, this is Olivia Casey. Thank you for meeting us. Can you tell me about the updates for security?”