Now that I think about it, I’m glad he always rejected me back then. I was seventeen, far too young for a man in his thirties. If he would’ve tried to be with me, what kind of man would that make him? No decent guy would hook up with a minor, even if I was on the verge of eighteen. But Lonnie wasn’t like that. He was a good guy. The best. And by the looks of him, he’s only gotten better with age.
“In the flesh,” I say and instantly regret it because it sounds so lame. I quickly follow it up by saying, “What can I get for you?”
Lonnie tells me his order. Luckily, it’s a simple one, because my thoughts are scattered and I’m having a difficult time trying to stay focused. My hands shake as I type his order into the computer.
“Are you still in school?” he asks me.
Even though I’m not surprised, I’m still a little disappointed that my parents didn’t tell him that I graduated. I was hoping enough time had passed that they would have invited him to my graduation party. It’s been seven years, after all. They used to be such good friends. He was always at our house, then suddenly, just before I went off to college, he moved. I assumed it had something to do with business or clients since he’s a lawyer just like my parents, but whenever I asked my parents about it, they never wanted to talk about him.
“I graduated six months ago,” I tell him.
I’m doing my best not to screw up his order. I can’t think straight when he’s around. Even a simple latte is proving to be difficult. My damn hands won’t stop shaking.
“Really?” he says.
“Top of my class.” It sounds like I’m bragging. Maybe I am a little. It’s something I’m really proud of. I worked hard for that spot. Though all of that work is starting to feel like it was all for nothing now that it seems my only potential is to be a barista.
I hand him his drink and manage not to splash it on him. He takes a tentative sip and looks confused. I get nervous and start to wonder if I managed to screw it up even though I was trying my best to make his order perfect.
“It’s been six months since you graduated, and you still haven’t found a job at a firm?”
I shrug, feeling inadequate. Since I went off to college, I always fantasized about running into Lonnie again and the things I would say to him. I was hoping to get the chance to tell him I was a successful lawyer and had my shit together so he would see me as more than his ex-best friend’s immature daughter. Meeting him at a coffee shop where I work while struggling to make ends meet was never part of that fantasy.
“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m sending out résumés but no one seems to be biting. Not even an interview.”
“When can you take a break?” he asks. “I’d like to talk more about this. Catch up after all these years.”
I get excited at the thought of getting to sit down and have a conversation with him.
Looking at the line now snaking out the door, that excitement ebbs. “It’ll be at least a half hour before I can take a break.”
He pays for his coffee and leaves a twenty-dollar tip even though his order was only six dollars.
“I can wait,” he says, and finds a nearby table to sit at.
I rush through my orders, my hands no longer shaking. I’m in my zone, making sure every order is perfect so there are no returns that will set me back. I feel his gaze on me. Each time I look over at him, our eyes lock and it sends butterflies swarming around in my chest. No single feature makes him so beautiful, it’s a combination of several unique quirks. One eyebrow sits higher than the other and makes him look perpetually amused. His full lips give him that sensual allure that makes me wonder what they would feel like against mine. His eyes have a gentleness about them, while at the same time being intense. They are the kind of features that age well and never fade.
I wonder what he wants to talk about with me. That childish romantic in me hopes he’ll profess his undying love for me. But I know that would never happen. He probably just wants to catch up and find out what my parents have been up to. He was such a huge part of my life growing up. I’m sure he just wants to know how law school went for me. He went to law school too, after all. Like me, he was at the top of his class and graduated with honors. But unlike me, he was recruited right after graduation and has been successful ever since, though I’m not exactly sure what kind of law he practices now. I used to think all law was the same and wondered why my dad and Lonnie never went into business together.