“My goodness, thank you. It’s no trouble. With Christy not needing me in two weeks to get everything together for the move, I decided to take time off in between children. Hugs, my sweetie, be a good girl for Daddy.” The woman and Rosie share a hug. I’m relieved to see it’s clear she cared deeply for my daughter.
Dominic moves into the apartment ahead of me. Rosie is clinging tightly to me, as she babbles on about how she likes tea parties and asking if I do too. Of course, I do, I tell her. Anything my girl loves, I’ll grow to love too. “Christy’s schedule is on the refrigerator. She’s not due home for three hours. What do you want to do?”
I bend down, setting Rosie on her feet. “Baby girl, I need you to go get your things together.”
With an excited giggle, she runs for her room. “I want to take Rosie back now. Let Christy follow.”
Sighing, he shakes his head. “You really want to start off that way? Fight for what you want. Don’t fight what you want.”
“Right now, I’m afraid not even you here would keep me from hurting her,” I admit as my eyes go to Rosie through the open door of her room. The feel of her in my arms should have soothed me. Instead, all I felt was rage at missing everything until today. “I need space, some time. I’m glad you’re here after all.”
“All right.” He nods as he follows Rosie into her room.
I’m drawn to the other bedroom. I study the room Christy has been living in. Picking up the picture of me from the bedside table, I wonder how she had taken so many without me aware of her doing it. She caught me in profile, standing over a pile of pasta. I study the bed. It’s a full bed with only one pillow. A sigh goes through me as I take in what it means. If another man has touched her, I’ll find him and kill him.
What the hell was she playing at? She raises my daughter the way I wanted, with pictures of me all over the place, but she fucking left and stayed gone all these damn years. In two weeks, she was coming back to me? It should soothe me, yet all I feel is rage so dark and violent it scares me in a way I hadn’t thought possible.
I see the stereo system on the dresser only to now realize there was classical music playing throughout her apartment—just like in my home. What in the fuck went on inside her fucking head? Taking a deep breath, I consider staying to ask her. Now that she’s close, I don’t want to wait another fucking minute to see her after so many years. But I don’t dare with Rosie close by, in case I couldn’t control myself. Whatever happens, Christy did me a small enough honor raising my daughter with nothing but love for me. I will not damage that by scaring Rosie or allowing her to see the anger I have for Christy.
Dominic calls out to me and I leave the room to find him holding one large suitcase and a large duffle bag over his shoulder. The other hand has Rosie’s small hand in it. She’s looking up at him, chattering happily about how happy she is to have a brother. For a moment, the sight of my two children holding hands has me smiling...so what if it looked like a man with his daughter, not his sister?
***
Christy
It’s been a long damn day. My patient was Hamish, a man with Alzheimer’s. His daughter Anna hired me to take care of him. For what felt like the twentieth time, Ann tried to talk me into staying—offering almost double my current pay for at least another six months. I wasn’t able to keep from getting rude that I had to go home to Chicago.
Unlocking the door, I’m instantly aware something is wrong. The apartment is quiet. It’s never quiet. I had taken on the habit of music playing from a sound system, usually classical, like Tony did. Even though I know it’s a waste of time, I go from room to room. I find the note on the refrigerator. My chest twists painfully at the slashing words.
See you soon
Tony
Bene
ath the note is a plane ticket for a flight from Austin to Chicago. It leaves in three hours and has my name on it.
My legs give out from under me, and I sink to the floor. Tony found me. Finally. Even though I had done what I could to hide, a part of me had hoped he would find me. For a long time, I was sure he hadn’t bothered looking for me. Only now I know he has been looking and he found me, us.
Closing my eyes, I fight tears. I’m not worried about Rosie. I know Tony will take care of our daughter. That doesn’t make it any less scary for her to be away from me. She’s never spent a night away from me.
I make a phone call to my lone best friend, Betty, the first client I had when I arrived in Austin. She was recovering from a stroke. Over the last five years, we’ve become friends, and Rosie adores her. A few weeks ago, Rosie spilled about my plans of returning to Chicago. Betty was happy for me and told me several times to let her know if I needed any help. For the first time, I’m taking her up on it.
Explaining I needed to go to back to Chicago today, I ask her if she can take care of my apartment. By either giving away, or selling everything I’m leaving behind. Betty assures me she’ll handle it.
Going into Rosie’s room, I’m not really surprised it’s almost completely cleared out. All the pictures of Tony in here are gone. I wince with embarrassment as I wonder what he thought when he saw them all. Was it a good thing or a bad thing?
In my room, I start packing. I’ve already gotten rid of everything I didn’t wanted to pack for the long drive. Pretty much everything but our clothes have been sold or given away in the last few weeks. Rosie hadn’t liked it, but the promise of seeing her Papa was enough of an inducement to give all except her most favorite toys away.
I spot the picture I kept of Tony; it’s been moved on my bedside table. Rosie doesn’t come into my room while I’m at work. Tony saw it and picked it up. For the last few weeks, I’ve gone over every minute I was with him, I stopped often at the moment in the closet after I pulled the gun. The warning he gave me of getting one chance with him, just one. How I would regret using that chance...I’d used the chance. It wouldn’t matter to him I have spent the last five years regretting it already. How badly is he going to make me pay for what I’ve done to him, to our daughter, to us?
16
Christy
The front door opens, before I can even knock. Tony fills the open door. After five long years, the sight of him rocks my very foundation. It's still there. My chest tightens painfully. All I want to do is touch him to assure myself he’s real, this is real and not another damn dream. He is all tension, a wall of muscle that hasn’t softened an inch in five long years. There is nothing but ice in his blue eyes.
He steps back for me to enter the house. I hear him reset the alarm as I look around. Nothing has changed since I left. He walks toward his library, and I follow. He closes the door behind me with an ominous click.